Show Notes
Are you sacrificing your humanity in the pursuit of perfection? In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori and Kyle explore the profound impact that our defense mechanisms—whether that’s extreme rigidity or complete avoidance—have on our relationships, our success, and our overall well-being. They dive deep into the differences between type A and type B personalities, how our nervous systems adapt to create safety, and why embracing the "mess" is essential for true intimacy and abundance.
From discussing the true cost of overworking to examining the role of AI in stripping away our humanity, Tori and Kyle challenge listeners to make the unconscious conscious. Discover how to build a life that accommodates life's inevitable uncertainties without losing your connection to yourself and those you love.
Key Topics & Timestamps
• [00:00 - 05:00] Welcome back: What we've been growing through and the desire for real, raw authenticity in a curated world.
• [05:00 - 11:30] The cost of success: Examining the toll of extreme productivity and the realization that perfectionism can be a trauma response.
• [11:30 - 18:00] Navigating different nervous systems: How Tori and Kyle's differing approaches to structure and messiness impact their relationship.
• [18:00 - 25:00] The illusion of certainty: Why we crave control in an inherently uncertain world and the power of remaining open to life's surprises.
• [25:00 - 32:00] AI and the loss of humanity: The danger of optimizing our lives to the point of losing genuine human connection.
• [32:00 - 40:00] Breaking the cycle: Practical steps for perfectionists to let go of rigid routines and for messy individuals to embrace helpful structure.
• [40:00 - 45:13] Making the unconscious conscious: How to stop letting your patterns control your life and start living intentionally.
Sponsor Spotlight: Anywhere Clinic
This episode is brought to you by Anywhere Clinic. In our journey to stay human, taking care of our mental health is paramount. Anywhere Clinic provides accessible, high-quality psychiatric care and therapy from the comfort of your own home. Whether you're navigating the pressures of perfectionism, dealing with anxiety, or simply looking for a supportive space to grow, their team of dedicated professionals is here to help you build a regulated and resilient nervous system.
Visit www.anywhereclinic.com/tori-gordon to learn more and take the first step towards a healthier, more balanced you.
Join the Community
Are you ready to do the deep work and build a solid foundation for your life and leadership? Join Tori inside GROUNDWORK. GROUNDWORK is a transformative space designed for high-performing leaders, founders, and creators who are ready to regulate their nervous systems, heal past patterns, and step into their most authentic power.
Join us today at: www.torigordon.com/groundwork
Connect with Tori
Stay connected and continue the conversation:
• Instagram: @thetorigordon / @howtostayhumanpod
• Website: www.torigordon.com
• Book: ALTAR by Tori Gordon
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More from How to Stay Human
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In this episode of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon and Kyle Herron explore why so many people feel overwhelmed, anxious, and unsettled in today’s world—and what’s actually happening beneath the surface.
In this very special edition of How to Stay Human, Tori Gordon sits down with co-host Kyle to discuss the release of her highly anticipated debut book, ALTAR: Modern Psalms for a New Earth. This episode explores the profound vulnerability of taking 34 years of private journaling, spiritual seeking, and internal processing, and placing it into the public sphere. Tori shares why she turned down a major book deal years ago, the necessity of honoring divine timing, and why the spiritual path is less about learning something new and more about unlearning what is false. They dive deep into the framework of the book—breaking down the ALTAR acronym (Abundance, Love, Truth, Awakening, and Remembrance)—and discuss how to navigate the thresholds of initiation required to drop our masks.
We’re feeling awfully human in this episode.
The world feels intense right now.