Bonus: Are Your Friendships Surviving the Digital Age? Likes, Memes & What Really Matters (Nina on The Visibility Standard with Jazzmyn Proctor)
Dear Nina: Conversations About FriendshipShow Notes
This week I’m sharing a bonus episode from my appearance on The Visibility Standard with Jazzmyn Proctor. We talked about modern friendship and how social media, online business, and constant digital connection are quietly changing the way we relate to each other.
We get into the pressure people feel for friends to support their work online, the blurry line between friendship and audience, why memes can’t fully replace real connection, and how adult friendships actually survive over time. We also discuss reciprocity, forgiveness, scheduling friendships, and the importance of showing up for people in real life—even when it’s inconvenient.
If you’ve ever wondered whether social media is helping your friendships, hurting them, or just complicating them, this conversation is for you.
Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
More from Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship
When Your Friendship Needs Don't Match Are you expecting too much from a friend, or are you accepting too little? It's a question that comes up again and again in the letters I receive from listeners of Dear Nina. Sometimes a friendship truly is one-sided. But sometimes two people care deeply about each other and simply have different needs from a friendship. I'm bringing back a conversation from episode 80 with Minneapolis-based writer Sally Vardaman, author of Shoot the Arrows. Sally originally reached out after hearing an episode with my mom (episode 72) in which we discussed a friendship that ended, in part, because my mom felt the other person was "too needy." Sally shared a remarkably honest story about being the friend who wanted more. For years, she felt disappointed that one of her closest friends couldn't meet certain emotional needs, even though they had a loving friendship. Eventually, they talked about the mismatch and found a way to move forward without expecting either person to change. Sally and I discussed: Why "needy" is such a loaded word in friendship How insecurity can influence our expectations of friends Why we sometimes look to one particular friend for proof that we're loved How to set boundaries without abandoning a friendship Why having unmet needs doesn't necessarily mean a friend is letting us down
What can you do when your child gets deliberately pushed out of a friend group? Andrea, founder of Strong Mom, Strong Girl, joins me to discuss the difference between ordinary friendship disappointments and targeted exclusion, why parents shouldn't try to fix every social problem, and how our own reactions can make a difficult situation better or worse. We talk about navigating relationships with the other parents, helping kids move forward, and Andrea's powerful reminder that our children can “borrow your peace rather than pick up on your panic.”
Are we too quick to decide a friendship isn’t working? Melissa Radke and I talk about friendship breakups we regretted, jealousy, uneven effort, fear of rejection, friendship “tests,” and the urge to run before giving a friend the chance to respond. Sometimes a friendship can be hard without being wrong.
What does it mean when a friendship gets intense fast, one person always does the reaching out, or a friend treats you differently in a group? Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is back to unpack those gray areas, plus what to do when you’re caught between two friends and how to tell the difference between a friendship pattern and a real shift in the relationship.
What does your behavior communicate to your friends—even when you genuinely care about them? Author, Laura Tremaine, joins me to talk about the gap between good intentions and follow-through, why close friendships can’t always run on history alone, and what it means to make friendship a real priority.