How to Respond When Children Say Hurtful Words To Us?

We often talk about bullying from the point of view of the victim, but what of the children who engage in bullying behaviour? This conversation can be confronting because it means deconstructing the narrative that child who bully are 'bad kids' and it means we need to look inwards - at ourselves, the adults who are around children - to consider what messages our words and actions are giving children, and explore with compassion what may be going on for a child who chooses to engage in bullying behaviour. Dr Martha sensitively walks you through this offering you ideas to guide your next steps to hopefully prevent bullying or stop it in its tracks.

As a parent there are going to be times when you lose it, shout, say things you don't mean or put in actions you regret. This doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you human. In these moments, repairing the relationship with your child is the step you need to take. But how do you do this when they are little and when they get older? What if your child doesn't seem to respond or even acknowledge your apology? What do you need to be mindful of and what work might you need to do to make repair a meaningful act, not just saying the words "I am sorry"? Dr Martha talks you through this with scripts, developmental science about children and things to reflect on to guide you next time.

As a parent it is normal to want your child to be happy and have positive experiences. And one of the hardest things to learn is that you cannot make your child happy, and fixing their feelings is not your job. Dr Martha speaks about emotion to help you make sense of what your child means when they say "I feel sad", how to work with the emotion rather than trying to fix it or remove it, and the things to watch out for if sadness is getting stuck around your child and it's not longer a temporary emotion but low mood impacting on their quality of life.

We don't tend to talk about little ones' sexual behaviour. As adults we may find this is wrong or perverse, and yet there is a difference between 'sexual behaviour' that comes from curiosity and exploration and 'sexualised behaviour' with an intention for sex. Children are born wanting to explore the world and learning about their bodies is a part of it. When it comes to little ones masturbating this conversation is often taboo, can feel embarrassing or bring shame to adults. And yet - it is healthy and natural for children to explore their own bodies. There are however some 'red flags' to be aware of to differentiate developmentally appropriate behaviour from something that may need further professional guidance and support. Dr Martha talks about all these topics with sensitivity towards you, the adult navigating these situations, and appropriate developmental understanding of your child, to guide you to think about ways to set safe boundaries and explore conversations around privacy, consent, and safeguarding.

With technology literally in our pockets it is no surprise children have access to porn easily. How can you talk about porn to your child in a way that is age appropriate and helpful rather than scary and shaming? Dr Martha talks you through some ideas of how to begin he conversation with your child, whether you have found they have watched porn or you want to prepare and educate them about it. Some of the guidance and ideas are to help you feel prepared and confident and small reminders that what you choose to talk about (and what you choose not to...) has a ripple effect into your child's future.