StoryCo

Have We Lost The Art of Desire? | Rowan Pelling, The Erotic Review

StoryCo

Show Notes

Rowan Pelling on the Erotic Review, the death of the tease, and why desire needs saving from pornography. Episode Overview Rowan Pelling founded the Erotic Review on a single bet: that the sexiest organ is the brain. The young are having less sex than any previous generation on record. Pornography is free, instant, and infinite. The tease has disappeared. The accidental workplace romance, the fumbled first kiss, the slow build that nobody was filming, none of it exists in the same way anymore. And Pelling, who has been writing about desire, intimacy, and the culture of eroticism since she was 13 and writing her own problem pages, has a great deal to say about where it went and whether it can come back. This is a wide-ranging conversation that earns its runtime at every turn. What follows covers the Navy ship that subscribed, the '90s lads' mag world Pelling loved for its craft and its excess, the memoir she has been writing for 20 years, and the case for a ministry of sex, which she has offered to run. James Kirkham gets her to slow down on the things that matter: what was actually lost when the tease disappeared and why the inability to make mistakes is the thing that worries her most about young people right now. "If men and women are constantly at loggerheads and frightened, there's not gonna be another generation." — Rowan Pelling Chapters (00:00) Cold open: British hypocrisy about sex (01:00) Intro: the Erotic Review, desire, and pornography (02:00) Tell me a story: Hazel, Betty Boothroyd, and Gerald's subscription (04:30) What the Erotic Review was and what it looked like (06:00) The magazine as flirtation device: for couples, not hiding (08:00) HMS Something: the Navy ship that subscribed (09:30) Richard Desmond's fury and why tone was everything (10:00) Puritans vs Cavaliers: why this could only work in Britain (12:00) What readers were actually paying for (13:00) The decline: fewer sexual incidents, Gen Z, digital natives (15:00) The amateur fumble and why no one could record it (17:00) Erotic glamour: what "it" actually is (19:00) Growing up in a pub, older men, and saying yes (22:00) Dubrovnik, war zones, and the theory of the open yes (23:00) The barmaid at heart: listening, flirting, holding the room (24:30) Steering drunks and Tories: the pub as training ground (25:00) The Amorous: women first and the MeToo near-miss (27:00) Physical magazines and the gravitational pull of the real (29:00) Problem pages at 13 and a third-class degree (30:00) GQ, the lads' mag era, and Loaded as genius (32:00) Raising sons: porn, consent, and the word on the necklace (36:00) Dating apps and the disappearing workplace romance (38:00) Young men, the manosphere, and the ones she actually knows (41:00) The inability to make mistakes: fumbling as a feature (42:00) The memoir: 20 years percolating, Britain and sex (44:00) The tease as a lost art: erotica vs porn culture (45:00) Strictly Come Dancing and vertical desire (46:00) Living at home, no privacy, and the death of the house party (47:00) A summer of love and a ministry of sex About the Guest Rowan Pelling was the founding editor of the Erotic Review, which she grew from a newsletter to a 30,000-reader magazine. She has judged the Booker Prize, won the Funny Woman Award, written for the Telegraph for many years, and later founded The Amorous. She is currently working on a memoir about Britain and sex, and writes regularly on desire, intimacy, and the culture of eroticism. Listen Elsewhere APPLE : https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/storyco/id1886770413 YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@StoryCoPodcast LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/storycopod Credits StoryCo is a TellTale Industries production. Host: James Kirkham. Guest: Rowan Pelling. Producer: Jago Lee. Assistant Producer: Nelly Batt. Editor: Emma Gifford. Recorded at TYX Studios, King's Cross. Theme: Doubt Point. Special thanks: Craig Heptinstall, Jack Freegard, Tyler Newton, Isa Gibson.

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