
Show Notes
Ten years ago, Vivek and Maya Shankar met in a meeting at the White House; he still doesn't remember what the meeting was about, but he remembers being struck by her brilliance, and even more by her warmth. They stayed in touch, became close friends, and now, a decade later, Maya has traded her work as a cognitive scientist and White House advisor for a new mission: helping people understand why change is so hard, and how to come out the other side whole. She's the host of the hit podcast A Slight Change of Plans and the author of the instant New York Times bestseller The Other Side of Change. In this conversation, Vivek and Maya talk about why uncertainty can feel worse than bad news itself, and why anchoring our identity in our "why" rather than our "what" can carry us through loss and reinvention. They dig into the mental spirals we all fall into — and the small shifts in perspective that can break them — plus the crucial difference between guilt and shame, and why community and service are often the surest way out of both. Maya also shares deeply personal stories from her own life, including experiences she writes about for the first time in her book, and what she's come to believe change reveals about who we really are. It's a conversation about the hardest parts of being human: uncertainty, identity, rumination, and shame. It’s also about the quiet, durable hope that even unwanted change can show us who we're capable of becoming. . . . Every episode offers a reflection question inspired by the conversation. Share your thoughts and ideas with us at [email protected], on our Substack, or leave us a message at 1-833-74-HUMAN. IG @drvivekmurthy Substack vivekmurthy.substack.com/ More about your host, Dr. Vivek Murthy https://www.vivekmurthy.com
More from Staying Human with Dr. Vivek Murthy
What is nature trying to teach us that we’re too distracted to notice? Botanist and author Robin Wall Kimmerer joins Vivek for a conversation about slowing down and paying attention to the living world around us. She invites us to see the land as “not something but someone.” Robin is a scientist, a member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation and the author of the beloved bestsellers Braiding Sweetgrass, Gathering Moss, and The Serviceberry. For decades she has helped people see nature through both science and Indigenous wisdom.
Vivek talks with Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Ayad Akhtar about his new novel, The Radiance, and what it means to be truly connected to the world—including the parts of it which defy easy explanation. In this novel, a professor recovering from a hit-and-run bike accident grapples with two accounts of what's happening to him: the clinical, scientific one reflected in scans and diagnoses, and an experience that feels far more spiritual. Vivek and Ayad follow this tension into their own lives, including how mystery has shaped their own beliefs and life experiences.They discuss everything from the craft of writing, to protecting our attention, to existential questions of what it means to be human in the age of machines and AI. They also get deeply personal with Vivek sharing about time he spent recently at an ashram in India, and Ayad describing why dreams are so important to him that he’s actually slept with a pencil tied to his finger to better record them. This is a provocative, surprising conversation that brings together both heart and mind. Is there a moment in your life that was profound, spiritual, and hard to explain — one that shaped who you are? Leave a message at 1-833-74-HUMAN (1-833-744-8626) or email [email protected]. We'd love to hear from you.
What does it really mean to heal? What is the difference between curing and healing? What can we offer one another when something can’t be fixed? Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen spent her life exploring what it means to be human. As Vivek puts it, Rachel was “a doctor’s doctor.” In addition to practicing and teaching at UCSF and writing the bestsellers Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather’s Blessings, Rachel created The Healer’s Art, a course that helped generations of doctors, including Vivek, find the sacred in medicine. Following her death at age 88, Vivek sits down with fellow physician and his college roommate Dr. Akil Palanisamy to remember their beloved mentor, who profoundly shaped them both as doctors and as human beings. Through intimate stories and archival excerpts of Dr. Remen herself, they explore her enduring wisdom: why our wounds can become sources of connection, why listening can be an act of healing, how to live with uncertainty, and why healing remains possible even when curing is not. Vivek and Akil also share about how they turned to Rachel during some of their most difficult moments. This episode is an invitation to anyone wrestling with loss and uncertainty. Or simply searching for ways we can help one another heal. Special thanks to Commonweal for sharing excerpts of Vivek’s last public conversation with Dr. Rachel Remen. (06:41) Vivek and Akil recount their experiences first meeting Rachel (10:57) On the power of listening (13:51) How Rachel mentored Akil and Vivek through a challenging times (19:30) The Wounded Healer (25:31) Elements of mystery in medicine (27:55) Akil shares a passage of Rachel's writings on mystery (32:53) On grappling with uncertainty, and Rachel's spirituality (35:59) Fixing vs. Serving (41:33) Rachel's focus on those the system can leave out (43:00) What would Rachel have thought about AI in healthcare? (45:42) Vivek and Akil reflect on grieving Rachel's passing and their final visits . . . Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen The Healer’s Art Kitchen Table Wisdom My Grandfather’s Blessings Dr Remen & Vivek’s conversation: Can We All Become Healers?
Angela Duckworth changed the way millions of people think about achievement with her bestselling book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Yet ten years later, she’s come to believe that grit and willpower are only part of the story.
How many of us have felt the deep need to belong, but weren’t sure where to start? In this episode, recorded live at WBUR in Boston, Vivek sits down with the Harvard professor, author, and friend for a wide-ranging conversation on building community. Robert Putnam saw America's social fracturing coming decades before anyone else did. His book, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, put a name to the collapse of community life in the U.S, tracking the disappearance of the bowling leagues, church groups, and civic clubs that used to hold neighborhoods together. More recently, his ideas have reached a new generation through Join or Die, a documentary that has screened hundreds of times in communities across the country. Putnam traces his own lifelong preoccupation with connection back to a lonely childhood in Port Clinton, Ohio, and a mother who refused to let it stay that way. He unpacks “social capital” — what it is, and why it matters for both our health and our democracy. Bob also offers wisdom and hope from the last time America clawed its way back from a time of strikingly similar isolation, inequality, and division during the Progressive Era. From that history, he shares three lessons for us all today today, as we seek to build more connection in our lives. Putnam also opens up about his wife Rosemary, one of the most talented “social capitalists” he knows, and reflects on what he holds onto — quite literally, in old photographs — when he needs to remember what matters most. Join Or Die Documentary: https://joinordiefilm.com/ Bob Putnam: http://robertdputnam.com/