Jheri South: ADHD, RSD & Emotional Dysregulation in Relationships, Parenting & Addiction
We're Out of TimeShow Notes
On this episode of We’re Out of Time, host Richard Taite is joined by ADHD coach and advocate Jheri South to break down how ADHD shows up far beyond attention and focus. Jheri explains how emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), and impulsivity shape everyday life, relationships, parenting, and even addiction risk. The conversation begins with RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria, which affects an estimated 99% of people with ADHD. Jheri explains how perceived rejection can trigger intense emotional spirals that feel physically and emotionally overwhelming, often leading to conflict in romantic relationships, work environments, and family dynamics. Richard and Jheri explore how ADHDers can misinterpret neutral situations as personal rejection, leading to impulsive reactions, shame, and difficulty regulating emotions. Jheri emphasizes that ADHD is less about attention and more about emotional regulation, identity, and belief systems. They discuss practical tools, including identifying triggers, learning to pause before reacting, and recognizing “episodes” of emotional dysregulation. Jheri also shares five key drivers that engage the ADHD brain: interest, urgency, challenge/competition, novelty, and rivalry. The conversation expands into relationships, where communication differences, especially between ADHD and autism, can lead to misunderstandings and shutdown cycles. Jheri explains how shifting from blame to understanding communication styles can transform relationships. They also address ADHD and addiction risk, noting that individuals with ADHD are 3–4x more likely to struggle with substance use due to dopamine-seeking behavior when untreated. In parenting, Jheri shares how separating connection time from correction, avoiding escalation during emotional episodes, and building emotional safety can dramatically improve outcomes for children with ADHD and RSD. Ultimately, Jheri reframes ADHD not as a deficit, but as a neurodivergent wiring that, when understood and regulated, can become a powerful strength in life, relationships, and success.
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