How to best support my child in sport and school with performance psychologist - Jonah Oliver
The Shaun McCambridge PodcastShow Notes
Jonah Oliver is a world-leading performance psychologist he combines sports psychology and neuroscience to facilitate peak performance.
He has nearly 20 years of working in high performance from Olympians, executives, and professional codes (Brisbane Roar, Gold Coast Suns, Essendon), to car racing teams (Porsche – Le Mans World Champion, V8s), indigenous performing artists and surgeons.
Executive coach, author, speaker, and consultant on talent identification, leadership, and organisational performance around the world. Husband, father, entrepreneur.
2.30 - How do you navigate the car trip home after a sports game when your kid has strong emotions?
"Emotions tell us something, it's not ambivalence. They're not just sitting there. If there are emotions, it means they care. So they care about something like the performance, their teammates, your approval, their own standards, feeling competent or feeling incompetent, whatever it is, there's something there to listen to."
4.50 What is our role?
Our role is to provide a cushioned landing so that they can feel and experience whatever's showing up and you're a safe pair of hands to allow them to just sit with that. Let them dictate what the car ride home looks like Self-reflection is important Sometimes kids need an object to discharge/vent to (often the parents)
08.44 - Our fears as a parent. I don't want them to …
"Sport can be the greatest vehicle for learning about life in a safe way. Life is hard and how do you survive in the jungle if you're raised in the zoo? It's like sport needs to allow you to be exposed to failure to set back to I'm not as good as other people at some things that I need to solve this puzzle myself. "
11.15 - How do you get your kids to see your intentions for what they are?
You need to be clear on what your intentions truly are Typically when we want to step in and help it kicks us into command and control style of parenting When you teach a child something, you deprive them of the opportunity to discover it for themselves (Piaget quote) The consequence is our kids learn there's always something about me they need to fix, I'm not good enough.
15.40 - "What does success look like? And what is the intention behind it? If it's trying to protect them from failure because of your fears of them and what their life might be, if they don't succeed in that domain, then that's you. And you got to get the heck out of the way. It is a fun first mentality, just let them have fun."
Your job is to, to remove all the weeds and maybe throw some manure and some lattice and a few things, but then let the plant grow in the direction it wants to go. When you take the plant and you wire it to the lattice and tell it which way to grow you don't have an independent, self-governed, self-determined human being.
20.00 - How do you help children identify and navigate self-doubt as a roadblock to them reaching their potential?
We need to stop seeing self-doubt as a problem Self-doubt is just the price of entry into life Take the time to listen to what is happening to the kid, what are the themes? Listen and learn what your kid is actually worried about The most powerful thing you can say when they are feeling nervous is just to sit there and say "Yeh that makes sense". Meet them and see them Identify self-doubt as a gift and reframe it
27.00 - How to motivate kids to do something they may not love but may be important?
Stop trying to make them love everything If our kids only do the things they enjoy and are motivated by then they learn a relationship that they only want to do tasks they are competent at/enjoy they will avoid the things they don't like. It sets up bad patterns. Boredom tolerance is critical for success Motivation comes and goes for everyone, be aware of the ebbs and flows of that "I don't enjoy doing X but I do it because of Y"
36.00 - How do you deal with the "I want to give up"? How do you unpack and deal with that?
Is there some form of avoid
More from The Shaun McCambridge Podcast
What happens when the business you built, your reputation and your sense of identity unravel almost overnight? Shaun sits down with Mark Sowerby to discuss the rise of Blue Sky Alternative Investments, the personal impact of its collapse and the extraordinary challenge that helped him rebuild. Mark shares what completing the Oceans Seven taught him about resilience, purpose, preparation and finding wisdom “out on the edge”. Guest Bio Mark Sowerby is an experienced business leader, investor and adventurer whose career has spanned global commodity trading, agribusiness, private equity and venture capital. He founded Blue Sky Alternative Investments in 2006 and now heads up Caithness Ventures. Beyond business, Mark is an accomplished endurance swimmer. In 2024, he completed the Oceans Seven global swimming challenge, an achievement featured in the documentary Don’t Be Prey.
What if high performance isn’t just winning, but winning without sacrificing your health, relationships, or sense of purpose? Shaun sits down with James Laughlin to unpack the habits that drive sustainable success on the field and off it. James shares practical frameworks for decision-making, prioritisation, and building routines that protect energy and prevent burnout. Guest Bio James Laughlin is a high-performance coach, keynote speaker, and author of Habits of High Performers. A former multi-time world champion, he now works with leaders, athletes, and high-performing teams to build sustainable habits that drive results without burnout. Episode Summary James reflects on the reality that external success can hide internal struggle. Despite becoming a world champion, he was running on low sleep, leaning on alcohol, overworking, and watching his marriage deteriorate. That experience sparked a deeper question: Can you perform at a high level professionally while also thriving personally? Together, Shaun and James challenge the idea that high performance means doing more. Instead, they explore habits that help people succeed with clarity and consistency - learning to say “no,” creating a values and priorities filter for decisions, building momentum through routines, and shaping environments that support growth. They also discuss the role of purpose, how elite performers manage self-doubt, and why “counterbalance” matters more than chasing work-life balance. Key Discussion Points · A healthier definition of high performance: success with wellbeing and strong relationships · Why high performers say “no” more often than most people · The Values & Priorities filter for clearer decision-making · Choosing long-term priorities over short-term ego wins · Consistency beating motivation, and why discipline is temporary · Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation and how it shapes behaviour · Capturing wins to manage self-doubt and imposter syndrome · How gratitude and reflection shift mindset · Environment design: people, culture, and physical space · Relationship systems: boundaries, rituals, date nights, and planning time in advance · “Habits over hustle” and using counterbalance to avoid burnout · Intention as a defining trait of elite performers · Purpose as a protective factor against burnout and unhealthy coping Timestamps 0:00 – Shaun's intro and sponsorship mention 0:35 – James returns to the show and the story behind the book 2:01 – World champion success vs the hidden cost off the field 4:09 – Redefining high performance beyond "winning" 4:41 – Saying no as a key high-performance habit 5:33 – The Values & Priorities filter 7:06 – Choosing Finn's school production over a major London event 9:01 – Consistency, discipline, and habit formation 9:27 – Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation 13:07 – Self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and the Personal Victory Journal 15:28 – Gratitude and scanning for what's going right 17:45 – Culture and environment: "lifters vs leaners" 19:42 – Relationships and boundaries that protect what matters 23:56 – Counterbalance vs work-life balance 27:24 – Intention and execution as the separator 30:27 – Purpose and meaning as burnout prevention 33:40 – Three habits for 2026: routine, standards, reading 36:32 – How long habits take to stick (66 days on average) 37:34 – Where to find James and what's coming next
Zion Armstrong is a former elite athlete and global business leader. This episode explores the transformative power of mentorship, resilience, and intentional leadership. From a troubled youth in New Zealand to the global boardrooms of major corporations, Zion shares how sport, structure, and love helped shape his journey. This conversation is a masterclass in authenticity, parenting, and purpose driven leadership.
With over 25 years of executive leadership in the energy and resources sector, Janette Hewson is a seasoned director and strategic leader who knows how to navigate both boom times and tough downturns. An expert in building strong internal and external relationships, Janette thrives on collaboration to deliver business objectives and drive results. In the boardroom, Janette brings a respectful diversity of thought, sharp strategic insight, and the ability to build consensus even on complex issues. Her broad expertise spans external affairs, stakeholder engagement, ESG, major project delivery, procurement, legal advisory, governance, risk management, internal audit, policy development, and corporate strategy. Having led through crises, restructures, acquisitions, expansions, and closures, Janette has honed her leadership skills and a deep understanding of business transformation. She is passionate about building effective teams and transforming business units to achieve sustainable success. Episode Summary
In this episode Shaun interviews Paul Miller, highlighting his rugby career with the All Blacks, Chiefs, Highlanders, Otago, and Southland. They Paul's journey, including highs and lows, battling cancer, and his transition into life after rugby. Paul is also a team member at Stellar Recruitment. Rugby Career & Influences Early Days in Gore: Raised in a tough environment, played for King’s High School, Otago, and Southland. Intimidation on the Field: Paul was an intimidating player but recalls being wary of players like Jerry Collins and Philo Teatea. Jonah Lomu was also a force to reckon with but played in a different position.