295: Situated: How Your Choices Today Shape Your Child's Tomorrow | Angela Duckworth
Ask Lisa: Untangling Family LifeShow Notes
A lot of us grew up believing the hard way is the better way, so when our kids struggle (or we do), we assume that the answer is to exert more effort. That can leave you feeling like you’re failing at something you “should” be able to power through.
Wearing yourself out trying to push a tween or teen toward better habits is one of the most common, and most exhausting, parts of parenting. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Even world-class athletes don’t achieve their goals on willpower alone. Psychologist Angela Duckworth, who has spent her career studying grit, explains that they set up their surroundings to make the work easier. Teens are especially attuned to the norms around them, so the school, peers, and neighborhood can play a powerful role in shaping their behavior .
That means you have more say than you think. Dr. Lisa and Angela talk about doing what you can to shape the environment around your teen and why working to create contexts that make hard work easier to do is smart, not lazy. Consider this your permission to stop doing everything the hard way.
Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and globally recognized expert on adolescent development who partners with UNICEF to support parents worldwide. Angela Duckworth is the Rosa Lee and Egbert Chang Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Grit.
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Parenting a tween or teen? Buckle up. Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life tackles the questions that keep parents up at night — academics, friendships, mental health, screens, meltdowns, and more.
Every week, psychologist Lisa Damour teams up with a different expert to answer a real parent's real question — no fluff, no judgment, just practical, evidence-based advice you can actually use. Dr. Damour and her colleagues also turn their attention to the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids — the moments that lea
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