163. Anne Marie Hauben: The Truth About Non-consent, Trauma, and Speaking Up
Sexual Assault Survivor StoriesShow Notes
Sexual Assault Survivor Stories Podcast with Dave Markel Guest: Anne Marie Hauben I'm honored to share this week's episode of The SASS Podcast with someone whose courage doesn't just echo across a microphone—it reverberates across decades of silence, retaliation, and survival: Anne Marie Hauben. Anne Marie isn't just a guest. She is a truth-teller, an advocate, and a woman who refused to let a lifetime of dismissal define her story. After more than 30 years of carrying the weight of an assault she endured at 18 years old, she decided she would not stay silent any longer. And in doing so, she carved out a path of empowerment for survivors everywhere who feel trapped between trauma and the societal forces that try to suffocate their truth. This conversation is raw, urgent, and profoundly human. Who Is Anne Marie Hauben? • She is a survivor of a 1990 sexual assault, perpetrated during a senior trip to Bermuda when she was 18 and extremely intoxicated. The reported perpetrator was Ward, a former city councilor in Melrose, Massachusetts. • Anne Marie endured decades of silence shaped by shame, traumatic memory, lack of parental safety, and the fear that telling the truth would bring more harm than healing. (Written testimony) • In 2016 and again in 2018, she privately confronted her perpetrator through personal messages seeking accountability, remorse, or even acknowledgment. Both attempts were ignored; the second resulted in her being blocked. (Testimony) • In 2023, when her perpetrator ran for city council, her trauma was violently retraumatized and shoved back into the light. The anxiety, fear, flashbacks, and PTSD symptoms became overwhelming, forcing her to grapple with her past in a public way to protect herself, her community, and other survivors. (Testimony) • She ultimately sought legal guidance and published a public statement so voters would know who they were electing. Instead of support, she faced a wave of defamation threats, intimidation, and a coordinated effort by community members to discredit her. (Testimony) • Today, she is a vocal survivor-advocate pushing for reform in defamation law, accountability in local government, protections for survivors, and cultural change around how we respond to sexual violence. • She uses her platform, Amplified Voice Healing, to speak openly about her story, help other survivors reclaim their voice, and educate the public about the patterns of retaliation, shame, and silence that protect perpetrators. (www.amplifiedvoicehealing.com) Why I Asked Anne Marie to Be on the Show • Because I'm committed to giving survivors a place where they're believed, respected, and heard—and Anne Marie has spent the last two years being silenced and attacked for speaking the truth. • Because her experience is a masterclass in how systems, communities, and defamation laws are weaponized against survivors who dare to speak out. • Because she embodies the intersection of trauma neuroscience, public accountability, and the lived experience of surviving both assault and decades of retaliation. • Because her voice is needed. For college students. For mothers. For anyone grappling with whether they're "allowed" to speak. For every survivor who worries they'll be called a liar, crazy, or unstable simply for telling the truth. • Because her story is not just her own. It is woven from the same cloth as Chanel Miller, E. Jean Carroll, Christine Blasey Ford, and every survivor whose truth confronted a powerful man shielded by convenience and denial. What We'll Explore in This Episode • The assault itself: what Anne remembers from that night in Bermuda, what trauma did to her memory, and what the aftermath looked like for an 18-year-old trying to survive without support. • The neuroscience of delayed disclosure: why trauma keeps victims silent for years or decades—and how shame, fear, and protective forgetting shape a survivor's timeline. • Retaliation, defamation threats, and silencing: how community members, f
More from Sexual Assault Survivor Stories
What happens when a sexual assault survivor refuses to be silenced, even when the institutions responsible for protecting him seem determined not to listen? In Episode 209 of Sexual Assault Survivor Stories, I welcome author and publisher R. Greg Adams, whose new memoir, Strong Survivor: Strong Victim, recounts his experience of being sexually assaulted by his physician in 2015 and the extraordinary decade-long battle for accountability that followed. Greg describes the resistance he encountered from law enforcement, medical regulators, and other authorities, along with the profound personal consequences of his pursuit of justice. His experience exposes troubling questions about institutional betrayal, the treatment of male sexual assault survivors, and the additional trauma that can result when survivors are denied meaningful support. This conversation is about far more than one man's experience. It's about the responsibility of institutions to respond appropriately to sexual violence, the importance of believing survivors, and the tremendous human cost of systems that fail the people they're supposed to protect. Greg's story deserves to be heard, and his book provides an important opportunity to continue a conversation our society can no longer afford to avoid. Learn more about Greg and his book at https://www.thestrongsurvivor.com. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor of rape or sexual assault and are ready to tell your story to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: [email protected] Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Please be sure to provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you, and let me know what time zone you are in…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some other critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://www.thestrongsurvivor.com/ https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave
My guest today is Dr. Anne Aspler, an emergency physician, professor, researcher, humanitarian, survivor, advocate, and author whose voice has become increasingly influential both within medicine and across social media. Anne brings an unusual and important perspective to conversations about sexual violence: she has treated trauma professionally while also carrying the lived experience of sexual and family violence herself. The timing of this episode could not be more appropriate. Today, October 6, 2026, marks the release of Anne's new memoir, Rise After Silence: An ER Doctor and the Patients Who Healed Her. The book brings together stories from Anne's years in emergency medicine with her own journey through trauma, motherhood, medicine, identity, and healing, while confronting the profound consequences of violence that takes place behind closed doors. Our conversation moves between medicine, criminal justice, trauma, memory, and survivor advocacy. We talk about trauma informed interviewing, why survivors may never enter the justice system, and the gaps that remain between healthcare, law enforcement, the courts, and survivor care. We also explore something Anne's life demonstrates powerfully: lived experience and professional expertise do not have to exist separately. Brought together, they can become an extraordinary force for understanding, advocacy, and change. Anne's official sites are Rise After Silence and Anne's website. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor of rape or sexual assault and are ready to tell your story to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: [email protected] Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Please be sure to provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you, and let me know what time zone you are in…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some other critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave
Cassie Nicholas returns to Sexual Assault Survivor Stories for her fourth appearance. Listeners first met Cassie in Episode 36, followed her continuing healing journey in Episode 81, heard the story of attempted trafficking concealed as an offer of help in Episode 182, and came together for her during a special edition episode after a devastating car fire took her transportation, shelter, and belongings. In Episode 207, Cassie shares another part of her story: what it meant to grow up as a "glass child," the sibling of someone with profound disabilities, while learning to suppress her own needs in an effort to preserve stability within a complicated family system. We talk about parentification, emotional adaptation, domestic violence, self-erasure, and how becoming invisible can begin as a survival response and remain long after the original danger has passed. Cassie also talks about reclaiming her voice through advocacy, storytelling, and writing. Her recent work includes the short story "The Hall of Prisoners" and "Meet Me in the Mountains," written in memory of a friend who passed away. She is also the creator and host of the podcast Love Brought You Here, where she explores trauma, family systems, healing, survival, and the experiences that shape who we become. Cassie's story is not one of pain neatly resolved or trauma permanently placed in the past. It is the story of a woman continuing to understand what happened to her, refusing to disappear, and learning that her voice belongs to her first. Connect with Cassie and explore her work: The Hall of Prisoners Meet Me in the Mountains The Cassandra Voice Linktree The Cassandra Voice on YouTube Love Brought You Here Podcast: [email protected] An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor of rape or sexual assault and are ready to tell your story to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: [email protected] Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Please be sure to provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you, and let me know what time zone you are in…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave
After a week off, I'm joined by Cat Wilson, a survivor, advocate, and outspoken voice in the movement to end violence against women. Cat is a HASSL Pro Ambassador and serves as the organization's country representative for Scotland. Cat speaks with an honesty that is direct, unapologetic, and deeply personal. She shares her lived experience, the difficult realities of survival and healing, and what it means to reclaim your voice after someone has tried to take it from you. Her story also challenges the expectation that survivors should remain quiet, agreeable, or responsible for making other people comfortable with the truth. Through her work with HASSL, Cat is helping challenge the attitudes and cultural norms that allow harassment and violence against women to continue. HASSL's approach is simple and critically important: stop asking women to carry the burden of preventing violence and start addressing the people, behaviors, and beliefs responsible for it. Cat's voice is part of that change, and I'm honored to help her share it. Follow Cat on Instagram: @cat_hasslx Follow HASSL: @hasslofficial Learn more about HASSL and its global ambassador community: HASSL An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor of rape or sexual assault and are ready to tell your story to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: [email protected] Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Please be sure to provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you, and let me know what time zone you are in…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! — Thank you!! https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. —Dave
Vanessa Wulff was working toward a future in chiropractic care when she became the victim of multiple sexual assaults and rape. In this episode, she shares what happened during that period of her life and the effects those experiences had on her education, her sense of safety, and her ability to move forward. Vanessa's story reflects a reality that is often poorly understood: trauma does not always produce a clear, predictable, or easily explained response. Survivors may continue attending school, going to work, interacting with others, or trying to maintain the appearance of an ordinary life while privately carrying fear, confusion, shame, and the lasting effects of what was done to them. This conversation is also an important reminder that repeated victimization never makes a survivor responsible for the crimes committed against them. Each assault results from an offender's decision to violate another person's autonomy and consent. The responsibility belongs to the perpetrator, every time. By sharing her story, Vanessa gives listeners an honest look at the effects of multiple sexual assaults and the strength required not only to survive them, but to find the language and courage to speak about them. Follow Vanessa on Instagram: @vwulff1 An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow @SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: [email protected] Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with your time zone and a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you and hearing your input on the stories and guests featured on this show. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! https://thevocalmin.com https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-vocal-minority https://goldinthecracksofficial.com https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave