#110 The Psychology of Ecstasy: Barbara Carrellas on Tantra, Desire & Human Flourishing

What happens when the very communities built around consent, freedom and sexual exploration develop their own forms of toxicity, manipulation and abuse? In this episode I'm joined by Ayzad, a pioneering Italian BDSM educator, author and kink coach with more than thirty years of experience, to explore the dark side of BDSM, toxic kink culture, power dynamics and the psychology of consent. We explore: The dark side of BDSM and toxic kink culture. How to distinguish consensual BDSM from psychological abuse. Power dynamics, manipulation and the limits of consent. Why good intentions don't always prevent harmful behaviour. What has changed as BDSM has become more mainstream. The psychology behind unhealthy kink relationships and community dysfunction. Research article: Sexual Violence and Nonconsensual Experiences Among Alt-Sex Communities’ Members. This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at hedonhouse.com with code THEREALM for 15% off. Follow Hedon House on Instagram. Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does the human brain sometimes transform pain into sexual pleasure? And what can BDSM teach us about neuroscience, desire and consciousness? In this episode I'm joined by Hermes Solenzol, a pain neuroscientist, writer and lifelong kinkster, to explore the fascinating relationship between BDSM, pain, pleasure, sadism and the kinky brain. We explore: The neuroscience of BDSM and why pain can become erotic pleasure. How the brain processes pain, anticipation, arousal and desire. BDSM pain thresholds and how context can change pain perception. Subspace, altered states of consciousness and the neuroscience of kink. The psychology of consensual sadism and compassionate dominance. Becoming a BDSM switch and exploring both sides of power exchange. BDSM, spirituality, Buddhism and the subjective experience of pain. Free will, monogamy, polyamory and the psychology of human relationships. Sexuality and ageing: remaining erotic at 69 and beyond. Erotic fantasy, writing and discovering ourselves through imagination. Further reading: Beyond Pain: A Study on the Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives. Supporters of The Erotic Realm: Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here. Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here. ProDx Health at home STI testing here. Innovative Sex Tech: Lioness here. Kiiroo here. Luxus here. Lovense here. Science-backed libido support: Flow supplement here. Desire supplement here. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does the human brain sometimes transform pain into sexual pleasure? And what can BDSM teach us about neuroscience, desire and consciousness? In this episode I'm joined by Hermes Solenzol, a pain neuroscientist, writer and lifelong kinkster, to explore the fascinating relationship between BDSM, pain, pleasure, sadism and the kinky brain. We explore: The neuroscience of BDSM and why pain can become erotic pleasure. How the brain processes pain, anticipation, arousal and desire. BDSM pain thresholds and how context can change pain perception. Subspace, altered states of consciousness and the neuroscience of kink. The psychology of consensual sadism and compassionate dominance. Becoming a BDSM switch and exploring both sides of power exchange. BDSM, spirituality, Buddhism and the subjective experience of pain. Free will, monogamy, polyamory and the psychology of human relationships. Sexuality and ageing: remaining erotic at 69 and beyond. Erotic fantasy, writing and discovering ourselves through imagination. Further reading: Beyond Pain: A Study on the Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives. Supporters of The Erotic Realm: Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here. Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here. ProDx Health at home STI testing here. Innovative Sex Tech: Lioness here. Kiiroo here. Luxus here. Lovense here. Science-backed libido support: Flow supplement here. Desire supplement here. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you rediscover sexual desire in your seventies, after decades without intimacy? In this episode I chat with Andrea Feinberg, also known as Brookiana, who returns to explore sex after 70, dating in later life, sexual desire, ageing, and the extraordinary experience of erotic reawakening. When Andrea first joined me in Episode 102, she shared her journey of returning to dating, intimacy and sexual exploration in her seventies. Now she's back with her newly published book, Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman, to explore what that journey taught her about desire, desirability, confidence and herself. We explore: Sex after 70 and rediscovering sexual desire in later life. Why women are taught that their desirability has an expiry date. Returning to dating after decades without intimacy. The psychology of being desired and feeling desirable. Sexual confidence, sensuality and erotic identity as we age. Writing Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman and the vulnerability of sharing intimate experiences. Research Article: "The Shop Is Not Closed": Sex and Sexuality Among Older Adult Daters Supporters of The Erotic Realm: Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here. Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here. ProDx Health at home STI testing here. Innovative Sex Tech: Lioness here. Kiiroo here. Luxus here. Lovense here. Science-backed libido support: Flow supplement here. Desire supplement here. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when discovering your dominant side completely changes the way you understand your submissive one? In this episode of I'm joined by Sassy—Bethany Burgoyne—to explore switch psychology, dominance, submission, kink confidence and the freedom to let our erotic identities change. We explore: The psychology of being a BDSM switch. Moving from submissive to dominant without losing submission. How dominance transformed Sassy's kink confidence. Sadism, sensual dominance and using power as an expression of care. Body confidence, gender expression and being a non-binary woman in kink. Shame, permission and communicating kink to new or vanilla partners. Queer kink communities, safeguarding and what they reveal about human desire. Why BDSM can be joyful, playful and full of laughter. Research article: BDSM Role Fluidity: A Mixed-Methods Approach to Investigating Switches Within Dominant/Submissive Binaries. Supporters of The Erotic Realm: Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here. Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here. ProDx Health at home STI testing here. Innovative Sex Tech: Lioness here. Kiiroo here. Luxus here. Lovense here. Science-backed libido support: Flow supplement here. Desire supplement here. Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠ The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you. Thanks for listening! Stay perverted, Emma See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.