Show Notes
This episode is a joint release of The Allender Center podcast and The Place We Find Ourselves. We have all experienced hurt, abandonment, or disappointment at the hands of our parents or caretakers, whether it was intentional or not. So much of our beauty and brokenness — so much of what makes us human — is tied to our family of origin. In today's episode, Dan Allender and I discuss what it means to begin engaging the harm that we endured during our growing up years. Are we dishonoring our father and mother if we name the hurt we experienced growing up? Should we just "let it go?" If you want to learn more about how to engage your story in your family of origin, please join Dan and I for a 2 hour webinar on February 23, 2023. You can register here. Support the podcast
More from The Place We Find Ourselves
Dan Allender returns to the podcast for an honest, tender conversation about sexual abuse — what it is, how it wounds the body and brain, and why naming it is so hard. He and Adam talk through the tangle of betrayal, shame, and even arousal that survivors carry, and why none of that means something is wrong with you. They wade into the harder territory too: where God is in all of it, and how faith can either help us bypass our pain or help us finally feel it. We close with a real, practical picture of healing—not as a technique, but as an invitation to sit with the wounded parts of yourself the way you'd sit with an old friend over a meal.
Stephanie Duncan Smith joins me today to talk about her book, "Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway." Topics covered include: Stephanie's pregnancy losses, how she learned to think differently about her period (and her entire cycle), the importance of listening to our bodies, Stephanie's struggle with hope, and (my favorite part) her morning shower ritual where she proclaims, "I am beloved, I am baptized, and I am badass."
Dr. Hillary McBride talks about her new book titled, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Topics covered include: our deep human need to belong, the inherent goodness of your heart (despite what you may have been told), how healing should not be defined as "something going away," and the importance of witnessing your emotions and letting them unfold. Hillary and I are co-hosting the Spiritual Trauma conference on Saturday, June 7, 2025. You can learn more here.
I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/struggles. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today, Jay and I try to connect some of those dots. If you want to understand your sexual story in more depth, please sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 3rd, 2025. We want to help you understand and transform some of the sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple.
Today's episode is different. Dan Allender takes over the podcast to interview me about my new book titled, Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything. Topics covered include: how to respond when we fail those we love, how the book launch re-enacts core dynamics in my life, how to listen to the story your body is telling you, as well as your sexual story and your collective story.