The Unexpected Gift Hidden Inside Divorce

What If Five Minutes Could Change Your Life? How a simple shift in thinking can change your happiness, your choices, and the life you’re building. What if the biggest thing standing between you and a more fulfilling life isn’t your circumstances—but the way you’re thinking about them? When life takes an unexpected turn, fear can convince us that the worst is inevitable. But just because something feels true doesn’t mean it is. In this episode of Becoming Her, Again, I’m sharing something deeply personal: how becoming a divorced single mother, facing financial uncertainty and an unknown future, led me to begin changing the way I approached life’s challenges. What started as a way to manage overwhelming fear and difficult decisions eventually became a way of living that I believe has helped me create a life I genuinely love. I’m also introducing The Five Minute Shift, a practical approach I’ve been developing to help us pause, challenge the assumptions we’re making, and recognize the choices still available to us. At the heart of it is the ARRC Method: Accept what’s true about your circumstances. Reflect on what you’re thinking and believing. Release what isn’t serving you or isn’t yours to control. Choose your next step with intention.

Who Am I Now? Finding Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series — Episode 4 After years of adapting to someone else’s moods, avoiding conflict, second-guessing your feelings, or making yourself smaller to keep the peace, you may leave the relationship and realize you no longer know what you like, what you want—or even who you are. You may also look back and blame yourself, wondering, How did I allow this to happen? How did I lose so much of myself? In this episode, therapist Jennifer Kendrick, joins Carol to explain how that disconnection from yourself can happen gradually—and why the ways you learned to cope were not signs of weakness. But this conversation goes beyond trying to return to the woman you were before. Every experience changes us. Healing gives you the opportunity to understand who you are now, reconnect with your own voice, and intentionally consider who you want to become next. In This Episode, We Discuss: How a woman can gradually lose her sense of identity in an emotionally unhealthy relationship Why constantly managing another person’s moods can disconnect her from her own needs and preferences Why she should not blame herself for the ways she learned to cope or emotionally survive How to separate her authentic identity from the labels and beliefs she may have accepted about herself Why healing doesn’t require her to return to exactly who she was before Questions that can help her discover what she values, enjoys, wants, and no longer wants How small decisions can begin rebuilding self-trust What happens when the people around her don’t understand or support the woman she is becoming How to remain loving and connected without abandoning herself again You did not lose yourself all at once, and you do not have to find yourself all at once. Healing isn’t about going backward. It is about becoming curious about who you are now—one question, one choice, and one small act of self-trust at a time. 🎧 Listen now, share with others and tap Follow so you don’t miss the final episode in the Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series. Related Episode Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series — Episode 3:What Should I Expect When Divorcing Someone with Narcissistic Traits? Connect + Links Website: https://livinginthemiddle.blog Free 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series: https://living-in-the-middle-together.kit.com/30-day-email Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast Pinterest: https://pin.it/5QFpTBd6I Email: [email protected] Disclaimer This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace therapy, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified mental health professional. If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, trauma symptoms, abuse, or concerns about your safety, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or an appropriate crisis or emergency resource.

When You’re Not Happy… But You’re Scared to Leave

Divorce is hard. But when you’re divorcing someone with narcissistic traits, you may quickly realize you’re dealing with something very different from the divorce you thought you were going to have. In Part 3 of our special Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series, I’m joined again by therapist Jennifer as we talk about what you may experience when divorcing someone with narcissistic traits—and why understanding what could be happening can help you feel less blindsided by it. We begin with the question so many women desperately want answered: What should I expect? Jennifer and I talk about what can happen when someone who is accustomed to having control suddenly feels that control slipping away, why conflict can escalate, and some of the behaviors you may encounter as you move through separation and divorce. We also talk about something incredibly important: learning when to stop trying to explain, convince, or defend yourself—and why sometimes the better approach is to document instead of debate. This episode isn’t about frightening you or trying to predict exactly what your divorce will look like. It’s about helping you become more informed, more prepared, and better able to protect your peace as you move through it. In This Episode • What you may experience when divorcing someone with narcissistic traits• Why divorce can intensify controlling or high-conflict behavior• What happens when the person you’re divorcing feels they’re losing control• Why reasoning, explaining, and defending yourself may not resolve the conflict• How to recognize when you’re being pulled back into an emotional battle• Why “document instead of debate” can be such an important shift• Ways to protect your emotional energy during a high-conflict divorce• How understanding what is happening can help you respond more intentionally Don’t Miss the Rest of the Series This is Part 3 of our 5-Part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series. If you’re just finding the series, I encourage you to begin with: Part 1 — What Just Happened to Me? Understanding Narcissistic Abuse Part 2 — Why Is It So Hard to Let Go? Understanding the Trauma Bond And stay with me for Parts 4 and 5 as we continue talking about healing, finding yourself again, and learning whether you can trust again after narcissistic abuse.

Have you ever known in your head that a relationship was hurting you…yet still found yourself missing him, hoping he would change, or wondering if you should go back? Maybe you’ve asked yourself, Why can’t I just let go? If so, there may be a reason—and understanding it can change the way you see yourself and what you’ve been through. In Part 2 of our five-part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series, we’re talking about the trauma bond—the powerful emotional attachment that can develop when hurt, confusion, affection, hope, and relief become intertwined within a relationship. This isn’t about weakness or simply “loving someone too much.” It’s about understanding why these relationships can be so difficult to leave emotionally, even after they have ended. Together, we’ll explore: What a trauma bond is and how it develops Why cycles of hurt followed by affection, apologies, or hope can strengthen attachment Why you may still miss someone who caused you pain Why knowing a relationship was unhealthy doesn’t automatically make it easier to let go How trauma bonds can continue long after a relationship ends Signs that healing may already be happening—even when you can’t feel it yet Practical ways to begin loosening the emotional hold of the relationship and moving forward Whether you’re still trying to leave, recently walked away, or ended the relationship years ago but still don’t understand why part of you remains emotionally attached, this episode is for you. Sometimes moving forward begins with understanding why letting go has been so hard. This is Part 2 of our 5-Part Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Series. If this episode resonates with you, be sure to follow the podcast, so you don’t miss the remaining episodes in this special series. Also, leave a review and share it with someone you know needs it as well. If You Are Experiencing Abuse and Need Immediate Help National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.) Call: 1-800-799-7233 Text: START to 88788 If you are outside the United States, please contact your country’s domestic violence resources or emergency services. CONNECT Follow on Instagram: @becomingheragainpodcast Email me: [email protected] Jennifer Kendrick: www.kingsighttherapy.com Helpful Resources Website: Living in the Middle Free Divorce Recovery Resources: 30-Day Divorce Recovery Email Series Healing Articles Printable Resources Podcast Library