Midlife Unfiltered: The Season Of Me

Grey Divorce and the Use of AI.

Midlife Unfiltered: The Season Of Me

Show Notes

In midlife the changes are BIG. The rate of those divorcing over the age of 50 is at an all time high. Increasingly too, the ‘relationships’ we have with AI are becoming deeper and wider in application and in frequency. When it comes to Grey Divorce, AI’s role is also deepening, some may say becoming a dependence. As much as those conversations about your divorce, your relationship, your marriage you may be having with Claude, Chat GPT (name your preferred AI) seem helpful, they do come with certain risks you may not be aware of. That’s the focus of this podcast chat. Not to scare, to inform. For awareness. I sat down with Kiki Hart (aka Louise Cooper). Louise is a lawyer, accredited mediator, and someone who’s been through a divorce herself, to unpack where midlife, divorce and artificial intelligence are all colliding at once. I came away with a lot to think about, and I suspect you will too. In this episode… Grey divorce is real, and it’s us Kiki lead the conversation with some stats around divorce trends here in Australia (which are not that dissimilar to those in the US and elsewhere). Whilst divorce rates have remained reasonably steady overall it’s the divorces involving marriages of 20 years or more that have proportionally risen 20% in Australia since the 1980s. The shift is happening at the 50-plus stage of life. Some of the numbers we discussed: * Median age at divorce in Australia in 2025: 47.3 for men, 44.4 for women * 29% of Australian divorces are now ‘grey divorces’ (people 50+) * In the US, the rate of over-50s divorcing roughly doubled between 1990 and 2010. * Overall divorce rates are sitting near their lowest since the mid-1970s - it’s specifically midlife driving the trend upward, not divorce in general

The HILDA data: love isn’t the problem, workload might be The newly released HILDA survey (the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia study), has tracked around 17,000 Australians annually since 2001. The latest release says: * 88% of women and 92% of men in long-term relationships report strong love for their partner * Men’s weekly housework hours: 12.8 hours in 2022 - unchanged from 2002 * Women’s weekly housework hours: 18.4 hours, about 44% more than men, on top of far more paid work than 20 years ago * 17% of men believed they were doing more than half the household load We had a bit of a laugh about the ‘did you notice what I did?’ phenomenon - the tendency for a small domestic contribution to be announced and then quietly waited on for praise. Women report slightly but statistically lower relationship satisfaction than men, and women are more likely to eventually initiate separation.

Menopause, less f***s to give, and the Walkaway Wife We talked about the pattern Louise saw repeatedly in her mediation work, where one partner (usually the woman in a heterosexual relationship) is further along the journey to wanting to end the relationship than the other; often after years of trying to communicate that something was wrong. Years of being met with avoidance, dismissal, or ‘she’s just going through a phase.’ Midlife as a time of BIG change. At the confluence of the Menopause transition and post menopause years. Not to say it’s a cause of divorce. It is, however, a time when women often remove their willingness to keep performing a role that no longer fits. Less want for keeping the peace, to be the one that holds others and things together. A greater desire to spend that energy on themselves. These are a values shift. Where her grieving was done in advance, often well before asking for the divorce. [Menodivorce is an informal term used to describe a separation or divorce that happens during the menopause transition as women re-evaluate their long-term relationships and priorities.] Women 50+ now are of a generation that increasingly believes they’re allowed to want more than stability. Unlike the generation before them, when marriage was often regarded as a means for security and stabili

More from Midlife Unfiltered: The Season Of Me

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