Show Notes
This week on the Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into a hard but necessary question: How do you go from being deeply in love to not wanting to be around your spouse at all? Brandon and Caitlyn break down the stages of how love deteriorates — from the initial motivations that brought you together, to the unexamined baggage you both carried in, to the ways you responded when that baggage surfaced. They show how isolation, resentment, and seeking affirmation elsewhere turn a partner into an enemy, and they offer a clear path back through radical honesty, ownership, and daily action. If you’ve ever wondered how you ended up feeling this far apart, this episode maps the journey — and the way out. Looking for immediate support in your marriage? 7 Steps to Save Your Marriage: Reserve your copy now + claim bonuses! The Marriage Crisis Roadmap: Download the free guide here Grounded Union Couples App: Apply for a spot Save Your Marriage Webinar: Get lifetime access If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you! Leave a written review on Spotify, YouTube, or Apple Podcasts, take a screenshot, and email it to [email protected] — and we'll send you an exclusive unreleased episode on Intimacy After Betrayal.
Follow us on social: @brandontalksmarriage, @caitlyn_doerksen & @groundedunion YouTube Show available here
(00:00) - Intro: How a marriage can go from “the love of my life” to “I don’t even want to be around you.”
(02:25) - Marriage Is a Mirror: How frustration with a spouse reveals what needs healing, and why choosing blame over growth keeps couples stuck.
(05:24) - The TL;DR: When pain comes up, you either face it together or isolate — and isolating from the one you joined yourself to is where everything unravels.
(06:14) - Stage One: Initial Motivations: The real reasons people get married — sex, adventure, shared vision, and external pressure.
(11:56) - Stage Two: The Baggage You Bring: How childhood and sexual story shape the marriage, and the wedding night that turned into distance within months.
(18:00) - Stage Three: Responding to the Baggage: How screens, avoidance, and coping habits create pressure, and the three possible responses: explore it, shut down, or turn bitter.
(22:18) - Exploring Your Sexual Story: Why unspoken histories of porn, abuse, and past relationships keep repeating, and why they belong on the table before marriage.
(27:37) - Stage Four: How the Crisis Begins: Seeking affirmation outside the marriage, building disdain, and slowly becoming roommates.
(31:54) - Stage Five: How Repair Begins: Radical honesty, ownership of the mess, and daily actions that rebuild connection.
(40:37) - Rebuilding a Marriage After Hate: How facing personal baggage, changing daily patterns, and creating new ways of communicating and engaging sexually could restore a relationship.
(42:00) - Resources: Book preorder, couples program, and the review incentive for the unreleased Intimacy After Betrayal episode.
More from The Grounded Union Podcast
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