The Feral Behaviourist. Episode 2 Why We Say Emotionally Challenged, Not Reactive

Hi everyone, and welcome back to The Feral Behaviourist, where we talk all things dogs, behaviour, emotions, and connection — always with kindness at the heart. I’m Tasha Attwood, your host, and today I want to explore something that’s been changing across the dog training and behaviour world — and something I’m really passionate about — the language we use to describe dogs who struggle emotionally. Specifically, why I, and many others in the welfare-first community, are moving away from the word “reactive” and instead using “emotionally challenged.” Now, I know what you might be thinking — “It’s just a word, right?”But actually, the words we use carry huge weight. They shape how we perceive behaviour, how we talk about our dogs, and even how we feel about them in those difficult moments. “Reactive” has become a bit of a blanket label. We use it to describe dogs who bark, lunge, growl, snap, or show big emotional displays towards people, dogs, or certain triggers. But over time, it’s also become a label that defines the dog, rather than describing what they’re going through. And that’s where I feel we can do better. When we say a dog is reactive, it tends to frame the dog as the problem — as if they’re choosing to “overreact.”But when we say a dog is emotionally challenged, we’re acknowledging that what we’re really seeing is a dog who’s struggling to cope with an emotion — fear, frustration, anxiety, or even excitement — in that particular moment. It reframes the behaviour from being a fault to being a form of communication. Think about it this way: if a child was overwhelmed, frightened, or anxious, we wouldn’t call them “reactive.”We’d probably say they were finding something difficult or that they were emotionally dysregulated. We’d look for the why — not just the what. Dogs deserve that same compassion. They don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “I can’t wait to bark at that Labrador today.”They’re responding from emotion, not intention.And when we recognise that, it completely changes how we approach helping them. Using the term emotionally challenged helps guardians see their dog through a trauma-informed lens.It encourages empathy. It invites curiosity instead of frustration. When a guardian hears “reactive,” they often feel embarrassed, ashamed, or even defensive — like they’ve failed.But when they hear “emotionally challenged,” they can start to think:“Okay, my dog is struggling emotionally. What can I do to help them feel safe?” That’s a much healthier starting point for both the dog and the guardian. And from a behaviourist’s point of view, it also helps us guide training in a more holistic, relationship-based way.Because we’re no longer focusing on suppressing a reaction — we’re focusing on supporting an emotion. That means meeting needs, adjusting environments, using enrichment, collaborative care, and gradual exposure — not punishment or pressure. It also ties into neuroscience — when dogs are emotionally flooded, the thinking brain, the neocortex, simply goes offline.What we’re left with is the limbic system — fight, flight, freeze, fawn.By addressing the emotion, we help the brain re-regulate and reduce the intensity of those responses over time. So, the change in language isn’t just about being politically correct — it’s about being scientifically and emotionally accurate. It’s about reminding everyone that behind every bark, growl, or lunge is a feeling.And behind every feeling, there’s a story — of fear, pain, confusion, or unmet need. When we call a dog emotionally challenged, we leave room for that story to be heard. So, next time you see a dog struggling on a walk, or your own dog reacts to something that feels “too much” — try to reframe it.Instead of saying “My dog is reactive,” try saying “My dog is emotionally challenged right now.” You might be surprised at how that small shift in language changes your mindset — and your compassion. Thanks for joining me for this short but important episode.If this