Traps We Can Fall Into – 4

Presented by Jenn Miller

A proverb that always causes me to pause when I read it is Proverbs 14:1: The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. For any woman who is married, has children, and is working, there is a constant pull for how to use the minutes of the day. A trap in thinking I can fall into is that my family really doesn’t need me that much. After all, my husband is a competent adult and my children are getting older and more independent. Surely it is okay to focus more of my attention on other things than my household, right?

While there may be seasons where a working wife and mom is needed less in the home, Proverbs 14:1 cautions us that the wise woman builds her house. This is a present continuous verb. It doesn’t say “built” in the past and is now done or “will build” again in the future, but it paints a picture of a woman consistently looking to the needs of her family and continuing to build her home. Building is constructive and productive. This woman is attentive to her family’s needs and works to meet them.

Now contrast this with the foolish woman. With her own hands, she tears down her house. Isn’t that sobering? The Bible cautions you and me that if we are not careful, we can actually tear apart our homes and families. Certainly, active sin can tear down a house, but so can neglect. This could come through laziness, but it can also come through pursuing other meaningful work to the point where the family is neglected. I have been guilty of this. There have been times when needs from extended family or ministry commitments have absorbed so much energy that I have very little left for my family. Here is the truth: your family needs to be a higher priority than your job. After your relationship with the Lord, your family should be offered your best attention, energy, and devotion.

If this is convicting to you, take time to consider what a focus on building your home could look like. Maybe you initiate a walk around the block with your husband after dinner to check in on how he is doing. Maybe you schedule 30 minutes during the week with each child to enter their world and do something they like. Maybe you are more intentional during mealtimes to ask good questions or read Scripture together. In this season of life, how can you actively build your home? May the grace of the Lord sustain us as we continue to pour ourselves out for the good of our families.