Show Notes
Sometimes the biggest parenting breakthroughs come right after we completely blow it. Justin admits he let protective-dad mode take over when he confronted his daughter about a boyfriend he didn’t trust. The conversation went badly. Hours later, he tried again with one simple question: “What don’t I know?” Her response changed the conversation. Justin and Kylie unpack what happens when parents stop assuming they have the full story, how to repair things after getting it wrong, and why listening can give teenagers the space to make thoughtful choices without shutting their parents out. Plus, Kylie’s crochet habit is taking over the house, and she prepares for a special overseas trip with three of their daughters as they head towards some big life changes. KEY POINTS Why telling a teen what to do can shut down the conversation The powerful question that helped Justin see the situation differently How curiosity can get you further than criticism Why apologising to your child doesn’t weaken your authority Helping teens make safe, healthy choices without trying to control them Why parenting mistakes matter less when we know how to repair them Celebrating older kids as they become more independent QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “What don’t I know?” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families resources and parenting support Justin’s parenting workshops The family practice of using dinner-table conversations to notice bravery, consideration, healthy relationships and gratitude ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS When you feel yourself jumping to conclusions, ask: “What don’t I know?” If you handle a conversation badly, own it and apologise. Ask your child to explain what you’re missing before offering advice. Listen without preparing your rebuttal. Once you understand their perspective, talk together about choices that are considerate, wise, safe and healthy. Create small family rituals that celebrate your kids as they grow and become more independent. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
More from Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
What matters most when you walk through your front door? Justin Coulson has spent years helping families build happier lives, and his work has now earned him a University of Queensland Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Award. But the moment that mattered most wasn't the trophy. It was the reminder that strong families change lives, and the most important work we do often happens at home. Justin and Kylie share the story behind the award, the sacrifices that shaped his career, a hilarious university confession, and the acceptance speech that left a room full of people in tears. KEY POINTS Why strong family relationships shape happier, healthier lives
Worried your teenager is falling behind or has no idea what they want to do after school? You’re not alone, and their future is bigger than their grades. Dr Justin Coulson chats with educator and careers expert Dr Jo Winchester about career pressure, gap years, alternative pathways and the changing world of work. They explore how to support neurodivergent kids, take the pressure off big decisions and help young people find a path that fits who they are. KEY POINTS Why your child’s ATAR doesn’t define their potential
Your five-year-old is hitting other children when they're angry, frustrated or feel something is unfair. You've talked about using words, encouraged them to burn off energy and tried everything you can think of. So what actually helps? Justin and Kylie Coulson explain why young children lash out, how to practise emotional regulation at home and what to do when your child comes home after a difficult day at school. Learn how to set boundaries without shame, build better responses and help your child manage big feelings as their brain develops. KEY POINTS Why five-year-olds struggle to control big emotions
When your child is anxious, overwhelmed or afraid, should you step in or let them work it out? The answer could change how you parent. Justin and Kylie Coulson share five research-backed ways to build resilience in children, from listening without rushing to fix things to letting kids tackle challenges, take safe risks and discover what they're capable of. Because raising resilient kids isn't about toughening them up. It's about giving them the support and confidence to face hard things. KEY POINTS Why feeling cared for and listened to is the foundation of resilience
What happens when you give everything you have and still can’t finish? Justin shares the emotional reality of attempting a 50km charity walk with a 10kg vest, battling an injury and facing the decision to quit. Justin and Kylie reflect on failure, resilience and the courage it takes to admit when you need help. They also share how their Lift the Load challenge raised almost $95,000 for Top Blokes, helping more young men access vital mentoring and support. KEY POINTS Why admitting you need help can be harder than pushing through. The difference between resilience and ignoring your limits. How asking for help can change the outcome. Why we can support others without carrying everything for them. How one person's actions can inspire a whole community. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “It's wonderful when you feel strong and capable that you would offer to carry somebody else's load. But there comes a time where you have to recognise when that load is no longer bearable.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Top Blokes Foundation Lift the Load Challenge Happy Families ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Show your children that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Talk about the difference between giving up and recognising when something needs to change. Check in with the people around you. Ask how they're really going and listen to the answer. Remind your family that supporting someone doesn't mean carrying every burden for them. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.