193. The Ascent: Empowering Military Spouses to Lead, Thrive & Influence

Difficult people are easy to write off—especially when you're already doing half their job. Principle #10 of the Sherpa Code challenges leaders to fight for every climber without lowering the standard, threatening the team, or pretending everyone will be redeemed. Learn how to diagnose what a struggling person actually needs, apply training, support, and challenge, and use your hardest leadership problems to become a stronger Sherpa. Because your easiest people may make leadership enjoyable. Your difficult people reveal whether you can actually lead.

You see the problem. Your team sees the problem. Everyone is waiting to see whether you'll do something about it. In Principle #9 of the Sherpa Code series, Never Let Anyone Threaten the Climb, Mark Tilsher challenges one of the easiest leadership traps to justify: inaction. Threats to the climb aren't always dramatic. Sometimes it's one person dominating every meeting. Sometimes it's a broken process, an unresolved conflict, or a standard everyone quietly stopped enforcing. Sometimes the threat is us. You don't have to solve every problem today. But once you know something is hurting the mission, morale, relationships, or performance of your team, leadership requires movement. What is your team paying for because you haven't taken action?

Your people are always learning whether it is safe—or worth it—to tell you the truth. In Principle #8 of the Sherpa Code series, Feedback Is a Gift — And a Test, Mark Tilsher tackles the uncomfortable side of feedback: leaders often say they want it while unknowingly training people to stop giving it. Every time someone brings you difficult feedback, they spend relational capital. What happens next matters. Defend yourself. Justify your behavior. Return fire. Rush to solve the problem. Each response can teach the same lesson: Don't do that again. This episode explores four common ways good leaders stifle feedback, why approachability and engagement matter to performance, and one simple question you can use this week to find out what your team may not be telling you. The goal isn't merely to get honest feedback. It's to respond in a way that maximizes the potential they'll give it to you again.

Drama and gossip don’t just hurt feelings; they undermine trust, fracture teams, and make an already difficult mission harder than it needs to be. In this episode, we unpack Principle 7 of the Sherpa Code and expose why gossip is not venting, drama is not harmless, and leaders have a responsibility to shut down small issues before they turn into avalanches. You’ll learn how to set the standard, protect engagement, and roll out a clear team agreement that keeps the climb intact. Rules of Thumb: If someone vents to you about the same thing twice, it's time for an action plan If an Issue Bothers you twice, it's time for an action plan If someone comes to you with feedback, maximise the potential they will do it again

If you don’t know your climbers, you can’t lead them. This episode dives into the sixth principle of the Sherpa Code, challenging leaders to stop treating their people like tools—and start seeing them as teammates with dreams, limits, and potential. You’ll learn how intentional connection drives performance, why relevance is earned not given, and what it takes to truly unlock the growth your team deserves. Leadership Audit: Can you list their 5-year goal? What energizes them? What drains them? What part of their job do they love? What’s their biggest frustration? Who are they outside of work?