Rebuilding Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins)
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" PodcastShow Notes
Rebuilding Trust With Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins) When IVF failed and fertility treatments ended without a baby, you did not just lose a dream. You often lost trust in your body. After years of hormones, medical procedures, weight changes, and emotional whiplash, it can feel almost impossible to want to care for yourself again. Movement can feel loaded. Exercise can feel like punishment. And sometimes the quiet thought underneath it all is: Why should I take care of you? In Episode 200, you are getting a grounded, practical conversation about rebuilding your relationship with your body after infertility. You will hear from Holly Perkins, a women's fitness expert with 30 years of experience helping women build strength through science-backed, sustainable approaches designed for women in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. This is not about chasing a smaller number on the scale. This is about strength, muscle, metabolism, bone health, and feeling better in your body after everything it has been through. If caring for your body has felt complicated since IVF failed, this episode is for you. What You Will Learn Why it makes sense that self-care feels hard after fertility treatments end.
How emotional healing and physical strength support each other.
Why "just lose weight" is not the right goal after hormone disruption.
What happens to muscle and metabolism in your 40s and 50s.
Why muscle is more important than the scale for long-term health.
How strength training supports bone density and aging well.
What a realistic starting point looks like when you have felt disconnected from your body.
A Message You Might Need to Hear You are not broken because it feels hard to care for your body right now. When IVF failed, your body can start to feel like the enemy. This conversation helps you shift from punishment to partnership so you can rebuild trust in a way that feels steady and sustainable. Join Holly's Free 3-Day Workshop: Muscle for Life If you are ready for practical guidance on building strength in a way that fits your life, Holly is offering a free 3-day workshop called Muscle for Life. It starts March 5, 2026! Inside the workshop, you will learn: Why BMI and body weight are outdated metrics.
How to think about muscle-to-fat ratio instead of just the scale.
The strength training principles that matter most for women over 30.
How to support bone density and long-term health.
Nutrition strategies that support blood sugar, energy, and metabolism.
You can register for FREE here: 👉 https://www.hollyperkins.com/lana This is the direct link to save your seat. About Holly Perkins Holly Perkins, BS, CSCS, CISSN is an established expert and thought leader in women's health. For 30 years, she has guided thousands of women through physical performance, nutrition, and mindset management. She is the author of Lift to Get Lean, and her upcoming book Muscle & Bone will be released in early 2026. Additional Resources Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss what is coming next. You can rebuild trust with your body after infertility when IVF failed. And you can do it without turning your life into another thing to perfect. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week!
More from IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Life After IVF: How to Rediscover Yourself When Fertility Treatment Ends Without a Child What happens after fertility treatments end? If IVF failed, you stopped fertility treatment without becoming a mom, or you're wondering how to rebuild your life after infertility, this episode is for you. When your dream of motherhood doesn't happen, it can feel like your future disappeared with it. You may wonder who you are now, what comes next, or whether you'll ever feel excited about life again. In this episode, you'll hear the deeply personal story behind one of the biggest decisions I've ever made. After spending 20 years in medical device sales and reaching the highest point of my career, I walked away from everything to build resources for women living childless after infertility. Now, two years later, I'm sharing why I'm returning to corporate America and what this experience has taught me about identity, purpose, and creating a meaningful life after infertility. If you've ever believed motherhood was supposed to define who you are, this conversation will help you see that your story is still being written. In this episode, you'll discover: Why the end of fertility treatment doesn't have to be the end of discovering who you are.
Birthdays After IVF Failed | Childless and Aging After Infertility What happens when birthdays stop feeling celebratory after IVF failed? For many women who are childless after infertility, birthdays can feel like painful reminders of everything that did not happen: • Another year older. • Another year without children. • Another year wondering what your future is supposed to look like now. In this deeply personal episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski opens up about turning 52 after seven years of infertility, IUI, and IVF treatments that ended without a child. She shares the silent fears many women carry about aging without motherhood, feeling disconnected from themselves, and questioning their purpose, identity, and future after fertility treatments end. This episode explores: • Why birthdays can feel emotionally painful after IVF failed. • The fear of aging without children. • Feeling like your "real life" never started after infertility. • The identity loss that happens when motherhood does not happen. • Fear around legacy, purpose, and who will care for you later in life. • Why women often feel lost for years after fertility treatments end. • What helped Lana stop measuring her life against motherhood milestones. • How to begin creating meaning and connection after childlessness not by choice. If you have ever wondered: "What does aging look like without children?" "Who am I without motherhood?" "How do I stop feeling behind in life after infertility?" …this episode is for you. Lana also shares details about a confidential research study through Northwestern University focused on understanding the experiences and support needs of women whose fertility treatments ended without a live birth. Mentioned in this episode Participate in an anonymous Northwestern University Research Study for women who have left fertility treatments without a child. Researchers are gathering insight about the emotional experiences, unmet needs, and long-term impact of life after infertility so fertility clinics can better support future patients. The confidential survey is open to anyone in the world who meets the eligibility requirements. Click here to participate in the Northwestern University research study
Childless After Infertility? You Still Belong If you've ever felt like everyone else moved forward after IVF while you were left trying to figure out where you fit… this episode is for you. In Episode 205 of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares a deeply personal recap of The Other's Day® weekend in Chicago, where women from 13 states gathered for connection, friendship, healing, and belonging after infertility and childlessness. But this episode is about much more than a weekend event. It's about what happens when you stop seeing yourself as the outsider. You'll hear honest conversation about the emotional aftermath of infertility, the loneliness many women experience after fertility treatments end without a baby, and why so many women quietly question who they are now once the future they imagined never happened. Lana shares: • Why Mother's Day weekend can feel emotionally exhausting when you are childless not by choice. • The hidden identity shifts that happen after IVF failed. • How infertility impacts friendships, marriage, confidence, and connection. • What it was like watching women who once felt disconnected instantly connect during The Other's Day® celebrations. • Why you already belong, even if motherhood didn't happen. • The emotional experience of meeting Thrive After Infertility clients in person after years of coaching together online. • Why healing is not about becoming someone different, but reconnecting to yourself and your life again. • How women are building meaningful, connected, joy-filled lives after infertility. This episode is for you if: • You feel disconnected from friends after infertility. • Mother's Day still feels hard after IVF failed. • You wonder where you fit now that fertility treatments are over. • You are struggling to picture a meaningful future without children. • You want to feel connected, grounded, and hopeful again. You are not broken. You are not behind. And you do not have to keep navigating this alone. ✨ Mentioned in this episode: Join the waitlist for The Other's Day® 2027 in Chicago (May 7–8, 2027): The Other's Day® Waitlist Participate in the confidential Northwestern University research study for women whose fertility treatment ended without a live birth: Northwestern Fertility Treatment Research Study Schedule a free Thrive Call with Lana: Book a Thrive Call Download the free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond Get the Free Guide Here Learn more about Thrive After Infertility Connect with Lana on Instagram: Instagram @lana.manikowski
Belonging When You're Infertile and Childless What happens when fertility treatments end and there's no baby? It's a question that rarely gets discussed in the infertility world, yet it's the reality so many women face after IVF fails, fertility treatments end, or you make the painful decision to stop trying. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, I'm sharing the exact speech I recently gave at the Seeds of Hope Fertility Luncheon. What made this event especially powerful is that many women in the room ultimately became mothers after infertility. Their stories looked different than mine, but so many came up to me afterward and said: "I've never thought about what happens when fertility treatment ends without a baby." And that's exactly why this conversation matters. If you're infertile and childless, navigating life after IVF failed, or trying to figure out how to rebuild your identity when motherhood didn't happen, this episode will remind you that you still belong. In this episode, you'll hear: • Why there's a major gap in fertility care when treatment ends without a live birth. • Details about the new research study I'm supporting with Northwestern University focused on women whose fertility treatments ended without a baby. • Why being handed brochures for adoption, donor eggs, or more treatment is not the same as actual support. • The friendship brunch moment that made me question whether I still belonged. • Why so many women feel like motherhood is what makes them feel relevant or included in adulthood. • How one of my clients stopped disappearing from her own life after infertility. • Why creating new traditions and redefining your future matters when motherhood is no longer part of your path. • Why I created The Other's Day® for women who need a place to belong around Mother's Day. • How to stop waiting for life to begin and start creating a life you feel proud of. Your story may not look like what you planned. That does not make your life any less meaningful. And it absolutely does not make you any less worthy of belonging. Links Mentioned in This Episode Participate in the Northwestern Research Study This anonymous survey is open worldwide for women whose fertility treatments ended without a live birth. It takes about 20 minutes. https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER Get Tickets to The Other's Day® (May 8–9 in Chicago) Friday: The Foundation (yoga, guided meditation + sound bath) Saturday: The Other's Day® Brunch Attend one event or both. https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday Read Chapter 1 of "So Now What?" https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/chapter1 Buy "So Now What?" https://www.lanamanikowski.com/book Free Guide: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay Book a Thrive Call https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lana.manikowski/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@lana.manikowski YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@lana.manikowski
If you've ever felt like friendships got harder after infertility, you're not imagining it. When IVF failed and your life didn't include children, you didn't just lose the dream of motherhood. You also lost the built-in ways friendships often form. No school drop-offs. No sports schedules. No automatic community. So now you're left wondering… how do you actually make meaningful friendships as a childless woman? In this episode, you hear a real, honest conversation about what it looks like to create connection when your life doesn't follow the traditional path. 💛 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why friendships can feel more complicated when you're childless after infertility