Show Notes
"Pay attention to what your body is telling you and treat yourself with kindness." - Dr. Robin Pfaff
The end of the year can be a lot and by the time January arrives, we're already worn out. There were big demands on your time and energy to meet holiday expectations, the darker days don't help and, once we reach the new year, there's pressure to reset, improve, and push forward as if our bodies didn't come with limits. When you're living with fibromyalgia, the "new year, new me" pressure often leads to flares, overwhelm, and the feeling of starting the year already behind.
For fibro bodies, pushing harder usually isn't the answer. When your nervous system is already sensitive, what it needs most is safety, not force. Slowing down, listening more closely to your body, and treating yourself with kindness instead of criticism can shift how pain, energy, and even emotions show up day to day. Sometimes the most meaningful changes don't come from doing more, but from softening your expectations and meeting yourself where you are.
Today, Tami is joined by Dr. Robin Pfaff, a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach®, national board-certified health and wellness coach, and author of Living Your Best Life with Fibromyalgia. Robin has lived with fibromyalgia for nearly 30 years and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to this conversation. In this conversation, Tami and Robin talk about why traditional New Year's resolutions often backfire for people with fibromyalgia, how mindful self-compassion helps calm the nervous system, the three core elements of mindful self-compassion, why January is especially hard for so many people and why that context matters for fibro bodies, treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend, the difference between traditional goal setting and a fibro-friendly approach, using micro-practices and tiny steps instead of big resolutions, reframing self care as experimentation, simple and practical tools and why small, consistent practices are often more effective than big changes, giving yourself permission to slow down and do less, rethinking routines and noticing when you're over scheduling why fibromyalgia coaching can make a big difference, creating an internal sense of safety that supports healing, finding micro-joys and small rituals that offer comfort and meaning, stories from Robin's clients and how they found renewed hope, and more.
Note: This episode is not meant to be medical advice. Every person and every situation is unique. The information you learn in this episode should be shared and discussed with your own healthcare providers. To learn more about the resources mentioned in this episode, visit the show notes. For daily doses of hope, inspiration, and practical advice, join Tami on Facebook or Instagram. Need a good book to read? Download Tami's books for free. Ready to take back control of your life and health? Schedule a complimentary consultation with a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach®.
More from Fibromyalgia Podcast®
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"Instead of asking what else you can try, try asking where else you should look." - Tami Stackelhouse It's incredibly frustrating to feel like you're doing all the things and still not getting your life back. You found a good doctor. You're taking the medications and supplements. You're working on your sleep, watching what you eat, trying not to overdo it, and somehow you're still stuck. Maybe you're not getting worse, but you're not really getting better either. If you've been there, you know how discouraging that treading-water feeling can be. For many of us, the solution is probably not adding another item to your already-too-long list. Fibromyalgia needs to be supported from several directions at once: what's physically happening in your body, how you're living in that body every day, and the relationship you have with it. Sometimes the next step isn't doing more at all. It's stepping back, looking at the whole picture, and noticing where you might need a different kind of support. In this episode, Tami explains her "three-legged stool" approach to fibromyalgia and getting your life back. She discusses her experience spending two years in treatment without improving, why she eventually looked for a different approach, how addressing physical health, lifestyle, and mindset together became a turning point in her journey, why it's important to address other health conditions that may exist alongside fibromyalgia, the importance of sleep, nutrition, movement, and adapting life to your current capacity, improving your relationship with your body, how weakness in any one of the three areas can make it harder to move forward, why different professionals may be needed to support different pieces of your wellness, how to assess your own three-legged stool and identify where additional support could make the biggest difference, and more. If you feel like you've tried everything and you're still stuck, Tami offers a different question to help you figure out where to look next.
"You're always ignoring something. Are you going to ignore yourself or the dust bunny in the corner?" - Tami Stackelhouse When you're used to getting things done no matter what, slowing down can feel almost impossible. There's always another task that needs your attention, someone who needs something from you, or that little voice reminding you what you "should" be doing. Add perfectionism into the mix, and taking care of yourself can easily end up at the bottom of the list. You keep pushing because that's what you've always done, even when your fibro body is asking you to stop. The good part is that feeling better doesn't mean you have to become a completely different person. You can still be ambitious, successful, and someone who likes things done well. It's about learning that not everything needs 150% of you, and that sometimes reading a book, taking a break, saying no, or leaving the windows for another day is exactly what your body needs. When you start working with your body instead of constantly pushing past your limits, life can feel a whole lot better. Today, Tami is joined by Certified Fibromyalgia Coach® Jeannette Rechsteiner, who knows this struggle firsthand. A high achiever and Fibromyalgia Wellness Style℠ Perfectionist, Jeannette went from a severe flare that left her unable to walk and living with pain at an eight or nine out of ten to saying, "I love my life." She and Tami talk about her life before fibromyalgia, her lowest point that ultimately led to her fibromyalgia diagnosis, how Jeannette finally found hope, why she decided to become a Certified Fibromyalgia Coach® and fill a gap in specialized support in Switzerland, how coaching unexpectedly changed her own health and helped her recognize the connection between self care, perfectionism, and her flares, the three major turning points in Jeannette's journey, why having a coach and community makes such a difference in managing your fibromyalgia, building her business and becoming the kind of role model she wants to be for her children, why Jeannette focuses on helping perfectionists and high achievers, the practical ways she supports clients, why perfectionism became such an important piece of understanding her own fibromyalgia, Jeannette's advice for getting the right support, and more.
We often underestimate what we can accomplish in a year. The goal can seem so massive that we think we'll never get there and don't even bother to try. That's why it's so important to hear stories of hope from people who have been where you are. There is so much you can do in a year; whether or not you go for it, the year will go by. It's up to you to decide what you want to do between now and then. Today, we're having a special bonus episode where Kim Osborne, a current student in our Certified Fibromyalgia Coach® training program, joins Tami. In September 2022, when Kim came to Tami, she was struggling. She was at the end of her rope and didn't know what else to try. Many of the things that used to help her cope weren't working for her anymore, and even with her training as a health coach and yoga instructor, she was still feeling miserable. In this episode, Kim shares what worked for her and how her life transformed over the past year. In this conversation, Tami and Kim discuss Kim's fibromyalgia diagnosis and the start of her journey, her experience with prescribed medications and struggle with the recommendations from her rheumatologist, the downward slide many of us experience where our lives get smaller and smaller, why Kim decided to explore alternative solutions including seeking a fibromyalgia coach, the decisive moment when you realize life can get better, the feeling of finding hope and support in a community who truly understands you, the powerful impact of being coached by the right person, surprising lessons that came from working with Kim's fibromyalgia coach, Robin, the drastic difference between a trip Robin took a year ago and again this year, being open to changing goals and expectations when we recognize what our bodies need, Kim's progress in the past year, the importance of taking action between now and the future, recognizing the real role of a coach, why seeing a functional medicine doctor was game changing for Kim, the subtle difference between wanting to fix fibro and wanting to help yourself feel as good as possible, why Kim decided to take the Certified Fibromyalgia Advisor® course instead of only working with a coach, Kim's plans for the upcoming year, her experience working with clients during her Certified Fibromyalgia Coach® internship, remembering that each person's fibromyalgia journey is unique, Kim's message of hope and encouragement if you're struggling with your fibromyalgia journey, and more. If you don't have your own hope, borrow Kim's. You can find ways to feel better, and we would love to help.
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