What I said to my son after he hit a kid at the playground | 78

Your child hits you and then immediately reaches out for a hug. Do you give it to them? It's common to freeze in these moments, worried you're rewarding the hitting or sending mixed signals. In this episode I'm breaking down what's actually happening in your child's brain when they seek connection after aggression, why the choice between comfort and consequence is a false one, and exactly what to say in real time so you can hold the boundary and stay connected at the same time.

"That's not fair." "You're not the boss of me." "I don't WANT to." Most of us were raised where those phrases got us in serious trouble — so when our own kids say them, our nervous system goes straight to threat mode. In this episode I'm reframing all of it. I break down what each of these phrases actually means from a developmental standpoint, how to tell the difference between healthy communication and genuine disrespect, and the exact scripts to respond in a way that holds your authority and honors your child's growing voice at the same time. I also share why shutting these phrases down might be teaching the opposite of what you want — including the skill your teenager is going to need. Grab my free Script Pack at the link in the show notes for more scripts you can use right away. Chapters 00.26- Intro 00:44- What's Actually Developing 02:30- The 5 Phrases and What They Really Mean 05:20- Healthy Communication vs. Actual Disrespect 09:06- Scripts That Hold the Boundary and Honor Their Voice Get TMP Times in your inbox every Monday. Start your free 7-day trial 👉🏽 https://www.themompsychologist.com/tmptimes 💌 Free Parenting Script Pack: https://themompsychologist.com/script-pack 💌 Follow me over on Instagram - http://www.instagram.com/themompsychologist If you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving a rating. It truly helps. Thanks for tuning in!

LET'S CHAT ALL THINGS PARENTING: I'm answering all your parenting questions and sharing real advice you can actually use in this Q&A from lying to teachers, sibling teasing and aggression, my experience losing 100 lbs after having 3 kids, backtalk and negative attitudes, responding to "I'm not going to let you play anymore!", 3 year old being too aggressive with baby, dating talk, forming secure attachment with our kids, guiding teenagers into colleges without being pushy, and more!! If you've ever struggled with any of these, this episode is for you. 💖

I'll never forget the time my 7-year-old had a full meltdown on our bedroom floor over a shirt disagreement. After 30 minutes of listening, problem-solving, and offering alternatives, I finally said, "It's okay to feel upset. Don't let your feelings get in the way of your responsibilities." Then I walked away. Five minutes later, she was completely ready. In this episode, I break down why constant emotional processing without expectations can actually increase your child's emotional intensity and prevent them from building resilience. Chapters: Intro: Emotional Validation Has Gone Too Far - 00:00 Meltdown Story: What I Said to My 7-Year-Old - 01:05 How to Model "Both/And" Language - 11:28 Building Resilience: When to Process vs. Redirect - 13:22 💌 Get TMP Times in your inbox every Monday. Start your free 7-day trial 👉🏽 https://www.themompsychologist.com/tmptimes 💌 Free Parenting Script Pack: https://themompsychologist.com/script-pack 💌 Follow me over on Instagram - http://www.instagram.com/themompsychologist If you enjoyed this episode, consider leaving a rating. It truly helps. Thanks for tuning in!

Try my free 7-day trial of TMP Times: https://www.themompsychologist.com/tmptimes You cannot force food down a child's throat. You cannot force pee into a potty. You cannot force a brain to fall asleep. If you're fighting these battles every single day, you're fighting battles you can never win and it's making everything worse. In this episode, I break down the 3 power struggles you'll never win (food, potty training, sleep), introduce the Division of Responsibility framework that removes the battle entirely, and give you exact scripts for dinner refusals, bedtime stalling, and morning routine resistance. You'll learn the difference between controlling their body (which creates psychological reactance) vs. controlling the environment (which actually works). Scripts for What You CAN Control FOR FOOD BATTLES: When they refuse dinner: "This is what we have for dinner. Eat what you want from your plate. When dinner's over, we'll have a small dessert." When they demand dessert without eating: "Dessert is part of our meal. Here's your portion. Still hungry after? More dinner is available." When they say "I don't like this": "Okay, you don't have to eat that. What else on your plate would you like to try?" When they haven't eaten much all day: "I notice you haven't eaten much today. Your body might be feeling hungry. Here's what we have. Take what you'd like." FOR BEDTIME BATTLES: When they won't stay in bed: "I see you're not sleepy yet. Time for your body to rest though. You can look at books or play quietly in bed." When they keep asking for "one more" thing: "Last call - need anything before I go? Water? Hug? Okay, that's it. I'm going to rest too now." When they stall at bedtime: "Teeth brushing time. You can do it yourself or I can help. What works for you?"