Terri Cole: High-Functioning Codependency & People Pleasing | Episode 133

“I really crave that sense of belonging and being with colleagues again.” - Meg Durham How do you know when it’s time to close one chapter and begin another? After 13 years in business, more than 300 schools and 173 podcast episodes, Meg Durham is closing an incredibly meaningful chapter of her life. In this final episode of The School of Wellbeing, the tables are turned as psychologist, author and longtime friend of the podcast Dr Rebecca Ray joins Meg to reflect on the journey that began by accident and grew into a career dedicated to supporting the wellbeing of big-hearted school staff across the globe. Together, they look back on the people, experiences and opportunities that have shaped Meg’s work, the lessons she has learned from working with thousands of educators, and the evolution of her thinking about wellbeing, education and what it means to do meaningful work. Meg also shares how she knew it was time for a change, why she has made the decision to return to teaching, and what she is looking forward to as she steps away from running her own business and into a new chapter within schools. This is a conversation about endings, beginnings, trusting yourself when you know it’s time for change, and the gratitude that comes from looking back at work that has mattered deeply. ---- In this episode, you'll learn: What working with more than 300 schools has taught Meg about educators and wellbeing. How Meg’s understanding of wellbeing has evolved over the years. How Meg knew it was time to bring this chapter to a close. Why Meg has decided to return to teaching and working within schools. What Meg is looking forward to in this next chapter. And so much more... ---- Chapter Markers: 02:50 How The School of Wellbeing began 09:40 What Meg is most proud of 12:10 How the work changed Meg 22:40 Saying goodbye to the podcast community 25:10 What 13 years of working with educators has taught Meg 27:35 How Meg knew it was time for a change 32:00 Craving community, connection and belonging 35:10 Why Meg is returning to teaching 45:20 What Meg is most looking forward to 46:30 Looking back and looking ahead ---- Reflection prompts: I am most grateful for... I want to invest my precious time and energy into... My next chapter looks like... The deliberate action I will take after listening to this episode is... ---- Episode 173 Show Notes – Click here. ---- Dr Rebecca Ray – Website | LinkedIn | Instagram ---- Meg Durham – Website | LinkedIn | Instagram --- Your Questions Answered: Why is Meg Durham ending The School of Wellbeing podcast? After 173 episodes, Meg has decided the time is right to bring The School of Wellbeing podcast to a close as part of a broader transition away from running her own wellbeing and speaking business. After 13 years, Meg feels ready for a new chapter and is returning to working within schools. How did Meg know it was time for a change? There wasn’t one defining moment. Instead, Meg describes the decision as a “slow reveal”, with a growing sense that her life was changing and a new chapter was coming. Why is Meg returning to teaching? Meg is looking forward to returning to the everyday rhythm of school life, being part of a team and contributing directly to a school community. After years of working across hundreds of schools, she is excited to bring what she has learned back into the classroom and experience education from within a school again. What has Meg learned from working with more than 300 schools? Across 13 years of working with educators and school communities, Meg has seen the extraordinary care, commitment and generosity that educators bring to their work. She has also learned that even the most big-hearted humans need to consider the cost of continually giving more. What is Meg’s final message to listeners? “You are enough, you are doing enough and I’m cheering you on.” Meg Durham ---- The School of Wellbeing Podcast is one of Australia's leading wellbeing podcasts for teachers, educators and schoo

"The heart of education remains unchanged. The relationships we build, the questions we ask, the critical thinking we nurture, and the care we show our students remain at the heart of great education." Dr Leon Furze Artificial intelligence is transforming education at an extraordinary pace. But alongside the excitement comes uncertainty. How does AI actually work? What are its limitations? How can educators use it ethically, thoughtfully and without losing sight of what matters most? In this episode, Meg Durham is joined by educator, author and AI specialist Dr Leon Furze. Together, they unpack how AI works, the opportunities it presents for teachers and students, the ethical considerations schools need to navigate, and why educators don't need to have all the answers to begin engaging with this technology. Throughout the conversation, Dr Furze encourages us to move beyond seeing AI as simply an advanced search engine and instead understand its broader capabilities. He also explores how AI can support inclusion, reduce workload and improve accessibility, while reminding us that the future of education will always be shaped by relationships, professional judgement and human connection. Whether you're feeling curious, cautious or completely overwhelmed by AI, this episode will help you better understand the technology, think more critically about its role in schools, and feel more confident navigating the future of education. ---- In this episode, you'll learn: How AI actually works and what large language models do. The limitations, risks and ethical considerations of AI in education. The biggest opportunities AI presents for teachers, students and school leaders. How AI can support inclusion and assistive technology for diverse learners. Practical ways educators can become more confident and skilled in using AI. What the future of AI in education may look like, and what schools should be preparing for now. And so much more... ---- Chapter Markers: 02:30 What AI is and how it actually works 06:00 The limitations, bias and ethical challenges of AI 09:20 The biggest concerns educators have about AI 13:00 Helping students, staff and parents navigate AI 17:30 The opportunities AI presents for education 18:00 AI as assistive technology and supporting inclusion 23:20 How educators can become more confident using AI 30:10 The risks of moving too quickly with AI 32:50 The future of AI in education 37:40 What every educator should keep in mind ---- Reflection prompts: I would like to learn more about... One way AI could genuinely support my work is... One conversation my school needs to have about AI is... One deliberate action I will take after listening to this episode is... ---- Episode 172 Show Notes – Click here. ---- Dr Leon Furze – Website | LinkedIn | Practical AI Strategies 2: The Critical Guide to GenAI in Education ---- Meg Durham – Website | LinkedIn | Instagram ---- Your Questions Answered: How does AI actually work? Dr Leon Furze explains that AI models learn patterns from enormous datasets rather than thinking or understanding information in the way humans do. Large language models are trained on trillions of words, enabling them to predict and generate text, images, audio and code based on the patterns they have learned. What are the limitations of AI? AI is not neutral. Dr Furze discusses important limitations including bias in training data, environmental impacts, copyright concerns, privacy considerations and the influence of the companies that build these technologies. Understanding these limitations helps educators make more informed decisions about how and when to use AI. How can AI support teachers and students? One of AI's greatest opportunities lies in reducing workload and improving accessibility. Dr Furze shares how AI can support lesson planning, curriculum design and administrative tasks, while also acting as powerful assistive technology through voice transcription, personalised supports and tools that incr

"I wish that educators knew how hard autistic students are working to be in your classroom." - Professor Dawn Adams What does every educator need to know about autism? Every day, autistic students navigate a world that often asks them to process more, adapt more and work harder than those around them realise. Yet much of this effort remains invisible. The more we understand their experience, the better equipped we are to create classrooms where every student feels understood, supported and able to thrive. In this episode, Meg Durham is joined by Professor Dawn Adams, Director of the Olga Tennison Autism Research Centre at La Trobe University and one of Australia's leading autism researchers. Together, they explore what autism is, how it can present differently from one student to another, and why there is no single autistic experience. They discuss common myths and misconceptions, masking, autistic burnout, and practical ways we can create classrooms where autistic students feel understood, supported and able to thrive. Throughout the conversation, Professor Adams encourages us to look beyond behaviour, replace assumptions with curiosity, and better understand the invisible sensory, social and communication demands many autistic students navigate every day. Whether you're a teacher, school leader or education support staff member, this episode will deepen your understanding of autism and leave you with practical strategies to better support the autistic students in your care. ---- In this episode, you'll learn: What autism is and why there is no single autistic experience. How autism can present differently from one student to another. Why looking beyond behaviour is key to understanding autistic students. What masking and autistic burnout are, and why they matter in schools. How respectful language, curiosity and small adjustments can make a big difference. Practical ways to create classrooms where autistic students feel understood, supported and able to thrive. ---- Chapter Markers: 01:40 Why autistic students are working harder than we realise 03:20 What is autism? 07:00 How autism can present differently from one student to another 16:10 Common myths and misconceptions about autism 23:20 Understanding masking and what we might not see 25:45 Autistic burnout and why it matters 38:00 Practical strategies to better support autistic students 43:50 What Professor Dawn Adams would like us all to keep in mind ---- Reflection prompts: I now know that... One deliberate action I will make in my classroom is... One conversation I need to have with a colleague or family is... I give myself permission to... ---- Episode 171 Shownotes – Click here ---- Proffesor Dawn Adams – Website | LinkedIn ---- Meg Durham - Website | LinkedIn | Instagram Weekly Newsletter - Subscribe here Speaker Booking - Complete the booking form to start the conversation. ---- Your Questions Answered: What is autism? Professor Dawn Adams describes autism as a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition that influences how the brain develops, processes information and responds to the world. Rather than viewing autism through a lens of deficits or focusing on what a person can't do, she encourages us to recognise autism as a different way of thinking, communicating and experiencing the world. Autism is not something a person grows out of. Autistic children become autistic adults, and understanding autism means appreciating both the strengths and the support needs that come with different ways of processing information. What is masking in autism? Masking is when an autistic person consciously or unconsciously adapts their behaviour to fit into a predominantly neurotypical world. This might involve copying the behaviour of peers, suppressing natural responses, forcing eye contact or working hard to meet social expectations. While masking can make a student appear to be coping, it often comes at a significant cost. Professor Adams explains that a student who looks calm may

"Perhaps one of the most powerful shifts we can make is moving from judgement to curiosity." Sue Chandler What if the way we interpret behaviour matters more than the behaviour itself? Every day in schools, educators navigate challenging conversations with students, colleagues and families. When emotions are running high, it's easy to make assumptions, become defensive or jump straight into problem solving. But what if there was another way? In this episode, Meg Durham sits down with educator, counsellor and author Sue Chandler to discuss her new book, The Relational School: From Behaviour Management to Cultural Transformation., published by Amba Press. Together, they explore what it means to develop a relational mindset, how our assumptions about human behaviour shape every interaction, and why understanding our own "biography of discipline" is key to navigating relationship challenges more effectively. Sue shares practical conversation frameworks that help us move from judgement to curiosity, strengthen accountability without damaging relationships, and create school cultures where connection, trust and compassion are embedded in everyday practice. Whether you're a teacher, school leader or school support staff member, this conversation will challenge the way you think about behaviour, relationships and the role you play in shaping school culture. ---- In this episode, you'll learn: What a relational mindset is and why it matters. How our assumptions about behaviour influence our responses. Why your past influences your present relationships. How to move from judgement to curiosity during difficult conversations. Practical conversation starters and listening strategies that build trust and accountability. Why strong relationships are built through deliberate, everyday actions rather than perfect conversations. ---- Chapter Markers: 01:00 Why Sue wrote The Relational School 04:20 What is a relational mindset? 07:00 How our assumptions shape behaviour conversations 10:00 Understanding your biography of discipline 13:00 The four ways of working through relationship challenges 18:00 Accountability without damaging relationships 21:30 Moving from judgement to curiosity 28:00 The gap between expectations and escalation 33:00 Practical conversation scripts that build trust 40:30 Final reflections and key takeaways ---- Reflection prompts: I notice myself making assumptions when... One way my biography of discipline influences my relationships is... I will give myself permission to... Before my next important conversation, I will... ---- Episode 170 Shownotes – Click here ---- Sue Chandler – Website | LinkedIn | The Relational School: From Behaviour Management to Cultural Transformation ---- Meg Durham - Website | LinkedIn | Instagram Weekly Newsletter - Subscribe here Speaker Booking - Complete the booking form to start the conversation. ---- Your Questions Answered: What is a relational mindset? A relational mindset is the belief that behaviour can only be understood in context. Rather than making assumptions or jumping to conclusions, it invites us to become curious about another person's thoughts, feelings and experiences before deciding how to respond. As Sue Chandler explains, a relational mindset doesn't lower expectations or avoid accountability. Instead, it combines high expectations with empathy, curiosity and a commitment to strengthening relationships, even when conversations are difficult. How can educators move from judgement to curiosity? Moving from judgement to curiosity begins with recognising the stories we are telling ourselves about another person's behaviour. Instead of assuming we know why someone acted the way they did, we pause, ask open questions and genuinely seek to understand their perspective. Sue shares practical conversation starters such as "I've noticed..." and "I'm curious about...", along with simple questioning techniques that help educators create psychological safety, build trust and solve prob

"I care, I'm incredibly capable, so I strategically subtract." Simon Breakspear What if greater impact starts with less, not more? School staff are constantly being asked to do more. More initiatives. More meetings. More programs. More expectations. Yet many big-hearted educators are already working well beyond their capacity. In this episode, Meg Durham sits down with educator, researcher, leadership advisor and author Dr Simon Breakspear to explore The Pruning Principle and why doing fewer things, more deliberately, may be one of the most important skills we can learn in education. Together, they unpack the hidden costs of the "additive trap", the beliefs that keep schools adding rather than letting go, and why sustainable improvement depends on creating space for what matters most. Simon shares practical examples of "pruning experiments", explains how small changes can lead to meaningful impact, and offers a hopeful framework for creating calmer, more focused schools. Whether you're a teacher, school leader or someone passionate about education, this conversation will challenge the way you think about improvement, workload and impact. ---- In this episode, you'll learn: Why adding more isn't always the path to greater impact. How to escape the "additive trap" that keeps schools overloaded. Why small "pruning experiments" are more effective than dramatic change. How strategic subtraction can create greater clarity, focus and sustainable impact. ---- Chapter Markers: 00:00 Welcome and introducing Simon Breakspear 01:30 The story behind The Pruning Principle 04:30 What is strategic subtraction? 06:30 Why more isn't always better 11:00 The beliefs that keep educators adding more 16:20 Pruning experiments and making change feel possible 24:20 Thinking in trade-offs, not just additions 29:00 Pace, priorities and calm progress 35:20 Practical ways schools can strategically subtract 42:00 Sustainable impact starts with less, not more ---- Reflection prompts: This conversation got me thinking about... The "additive trap" shows up in my work when... I will give myself permission to... A small deliberate action I will take is... ---- Episode 169 Shownotes - Click here ---- Dr Simon Breakspear Website | LinkedIn | Books ---- Meg Durham - Website | LinkedIn | Instagram Weekly Newsletter - Subscribe here Speaker Booking - Complete the booking form to start the conversation. ---- Your Questions Answered: What is strategic subtraction in education? Strategic subtraction is the deliberate practice of reducing, removing or simplifying work so that educators can focus on what matters most. Rather than assuming every challenge requires another initiative, meeting or program, strategic subtraction encourages schools to regularly review existing commitments and ask whether they are still creating meaningful value. As Dr Simon Breakspear explains, improvement doesn't only come from adding more. Sometimes the greatest gains come from creating space, redirecting limited time and energy, and giving people the capacity to do fewer things better. Strategic subtraction is about making intentional choices that support both sustainable impact and staff wellbeing.