515: How to Build Solid Confidence | Nicole Kalil

Episode Summary Today, I'm breaking down narcissism, narcissistic traits, and how to understand this topic through the lens of The Adult Chair. I talk about the difference between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies, why narcissism exists on a spectrum, and why awareness is the key factor in whether someone can heal or change. I also walk through some of the most common signs of narcissistic behavior, including needing the spotlight, lack of empathy, love bombing, control, abuse, and gaslighting. I explain why confusion can be a major red flag, why self-worth is the kryptonite to narcissistic dynamics, and why it is so important to have zero tolerance for emotional, psychological, or physical abuse. We also explore where narcissistic patterns can come from, including childhood experiences where the true self is either put on a pedestal or ignored, causing a false self to develop over the true self. I share how shame lives beneath that false self, how healing requires reconnecting with emotions and the true self, and how tools like self-worth, boundaries, owning reality, and healthy apologies can help create more empowered relationships. Key Takeaways Narcissism exists on a spectrum, from narcissistic traits to narcissistic personality disorder. A person with extreme narcissism will often lack the awareness or willingness to own their behavior. Common signs include needing the spotlight, excessive self-focus, lack of empathy, love bombing, control, abuse, and gaslighting. Confusion is one of the biggest red flags of gaslighting. Narcissistic dynamics can slowly chip away at self-worth. Self-worth is the kryptonite to narcissistic relationships. Children can develop narcissistic patterns when they are put on a pedestal or emotionally neglected. A false self can form when a child abandons their true self to stay loved, accepted, or seen. The Adult Chair question "Is this 100% fact and truth?" can help you come back to clarity when you feel confused. Resources from this Episode: Free Self-Worth Course: https://theadultchair.com/self-worth

Episode Summary In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Sue Morter for a powerful conversation about bioenergetics, self-healing, embodiment, and the connection between the mind, body, and spirit. Dr. Sue teaches at the crossroads of bioenergetics, quantum science, spirituality, human potential, self-healing, awakening, and embodiment. She explains how everything is energy, including our thoughts, emotions, and physical body, and how energy blocks can affect the way we think, feel, heal, digest, and move through life. We also talk about the body as an instruction manual, how symptoms can be signals from the body, and how practices like breathwork, presence, self-love, and bringing our attention back to ourselves can help restore the natural flow of energy and reconnect us with who we really are. Key Takeaways Everything is energy, including the body, thoughts, emotions, and physical symptoms. Bioenergetics is the study of energy as it relates to the body. When energy is blocked, distorted, or suppressed, it can affect healing, digestion, emotions, and overall well-being. Physical symptoms can be signals inviting us to look deeper. The body can act as an instruction manual when we learn how to listen to it. Our thoughts, beliefs, patterns, and early programming can influence the body. Bringing our attention back to ourselves can help regulate the nervous system and restore a sense of inner safety. Self-love is not just a feeling. Dr. Sue describes it as presence. Breathwork, embodiment, and focused awareness can help energy move through the body. Chakra work, central channel breathing, and Mula Bandha are discussed as ways to support energetic flow. Healing is not just about fixing one symptom, but allowing the whole system to come back online.

Episode Summary Today, I'm joined by John R. Miles, host of Passion Struck and author of Passion Struck and You Matter, Luma!, for a powerful conversation about passion, purpose, burnout, and what it means to truly feel like we matter. John shares his journey from being a high-achieving business executive to realizing that external success was not enough. Through his own healing work, he realized that the people he felt called to serve were the very people he had become: the burned out, broken, lonely, bored, and helpless. We also talk about John's childhood trauma, including a traumatic brain injury at age five that led to a speech impediment, sensory challenges, and a deep desire to become invisible. Over time, he began to see how that early wound shaped his need to perform, achieve, and prove that he mattered. His healing journey became the foundation for his work around becoming "Passion Struck," taking action on your purpose, and rebuilding a sense of mattering from the inside out. This episode is a beautiful reminder that passion does not always have to come from your career. It can come from service, relationships, creativity, healing, parenting, or using your gifts in a way that lights you up. When we begin to heal the parts of us that feel unseen, unworthy, or invisible, we can reconnect with purpose, take intentional action, and build a life that feels meaningful from the inside out. Key Takeaways External success does not always create inner fulfillment Burnout can be a sign that something deeper is asking for our attention Many people feel rewarded for their usefulness, but not seen in their humanness Childhood wounds can shape how we seek approval, achievement, and validation as adults Feeling invisible or like we do not matter can affect our relationships, work, family life, and sense of purpose Passion is not only about work or career. It can come through relationships, service, creativity, parenting, or healing Looking back at what lit you up as a child can help you reconnect with your gifts Mattering starts within. Before we can fully help others feel like they matter, we must begin to feel that we matter too Acts of kindness can help others feel seen while also strengthening our own sense of mattering Helping children understand that they matter can support emotional wellbeing, self-worth, and connection Resources from this Episode: John Miles' Website Purchase Passion Struck Get You Matter, Luma! here MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com Membership: The Adult Chair Collective https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Episode Summary In this episode, I'm sharing a conversation from Dr. Chris Magryta's podcast, Dr. M's Women and Children First Podcast, where he interviewed me about parenting, triggers, emotions, childhood wounds, and The Adult Chair model. We talk about what it means to become an emotionally healthy adult, why our children model what we do more than what we say, and how triggers can show us the unconscious beliefs and younger parts of ourselves that are ready to be healed. Chris and I also explore conscious parenting, co-regulation, self-worth, holding space, feeling emotions in the body, and why these emotional life skills belong not only in our homes, but in our schools and communities. Key Takeaways: The Adult Chair model helps us understand the parts of ourselves that react, feel, protect, and respond. Many adults are walking around in adult bodies while reacting from younger versions of themselves. Triggers are a gift because they reveal unconscious beliefs we may not otherwise see. Co-regulation begins when we are able to stay grounded while someone else is having an emotion. Parents do not need to fix every feeling their child has. They need to learn how to sit with them, listen, breathe, and hold space. Conscious parenting means trusting your child's path while giving them structure, guidance, space, and support. Self-worth is built by validating children for who they are, not only for what they do or how they perform. Social media can make comparison and self-worth struggles even harder for kids and adults. Emotions move through the body when we allow ourselves to feel them without building a story around them. Curiosity is one of the most powerful tools we can use with ourselves, our children, and our triggers. Resources from this Episode: The Adult Chair Coaching Certification: https://theadultchair.com/certification The Adult Chair Trigger Kit: https://theadultchair.com/triggerkit Free Inner Child Resources: https://theadultchair.com/innerchild Free Self-Worth Masterclass: https://theadultchair.com/selfworth Chris Magryta's Podcast: Dr. M's Women and Children First Podcast

Episode Summary: In this episode, I'm joined by Laura Dionisio, one of our Certified Adult Chair® Master Coaches, for a powerful and vulnerable conversation about what happens when we stop living from our protective masks and begin listening to what our body is trying to tell us. Laura shares her journey from an engineering, high-achieving mindset into a more heart-open life led from within. She talks about the "badass" or "I've got this" mask she wore for years, how it protected her inner child, and what it looked like to finally begin letting that mask go. We also talk about shame, inner child healing, and why so many of us keep running around the very feelings that are asking to be felt, metabolized, and released. Laura shares how The Adult Chair® framework helped her work with her adolescent parts instead of fighting them, and how she learned to reconnect with her body after years of living mostly from her head. This episode is such a beautiful reminder that healing is not about becoming someone new. It is about softening the masks, turning toward the parts of us that feel afraid or ashamed, and learning how to live from the truth of who we really are. Key Takeaways: Protective masks often form when parts of us feel afraid, unsafe, ashamed, or unsupported Laura's "tough" persona helped her feel protected, but eventually became something she was ready to release Shame, unworthiness, and fear do not transform when we avoid them. We have to turn toward them with compassion Feeling emotions in the body can feel confusing at first, especially if you have spent years living in your head A body scan is a simple practice that helps you notice physical sensations without trying to change them "Reverse bedtime procrastination" can be a sign that your needs, joy, or truth are being ignored during the day Creating space between a realization and an action can help you own your truth without panicking Fear and doubt do not always mean you are making the wrong decision. Sometimes they are protective parts trying to keep you safe Resources from this Episode: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laura.m.dionisio LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-dionisio/ The Pivot Point Podcast FREE Heart-Aligned Career Transition Starter: https://www.leadintact.com/freebies/heart-aligned-career