What to Do When Your Child Has Worry and Anxiety with Sissy Goff, M. Ed., LPC-MHSP
Raising Mentally Healthy Kids with Michelle NietertShow Notes
As we talk about raising mentally healthy kids, I can't think of a more relevant topic right now for all of us than anxiety. Worry and anxiety seemed to have peaked in our country as COVID-19 hit, but it certainly has not disappeared. And while we as adults tend to focus on the big life things, kids are still dealing with the natural anxieties of adolescence. In this episode I'm talking with the Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries Sissy Goff, M. Ed., LPC-MHSP about some practical things we can do to help our kids socially, emotionally, spiritually, and functionally develop well. Key points from our conversation: 💕 When we view our child's behavior as manipulative or controlling, it's important to remember that behavior is a form of communication. Understanding that we do not face the same dynamics as our kids can help us move us to a place of empathy and compassion. ⚖️ Our goal should not be just to teach our children how to respond but to learn how to respond in a way that best suits them. We may have to self-regulate ourselves first as parents. 👂 When kids talk about their worries, reassurance can sometimes come off as minimizing or fixing. And when parents minimize, kids respond more dynamically to be heard. You kids are going to have worries; it's important to slow down, listen, and validate their worry even if you don't share their perspective. 😠 Children who struggle with anxiety care deeply which means they may bury what they consider negative emotions because they don't feel they're appropriate. Perfectionistic tendencies can lead to eating disorders or self-harm. Practical tips to help your child manage anxiety: 🤢 If your child struggles with anxiety causing vomiting or an upset stomach, speak to their teacher and let them know the student may need to exit suddenly. Seat them near the door and make sure they have a safe place to go like the nurses' office. ⏱️ Some kids need to sit with their emotions longer than others. When you get frustrated that they aren't moving faster, give them 10 more minutes. 🧏 Practice reflective listening to make sure your child feels heard and understood. ✨ Avoid telling your child there is hope. Instead, ask them where they feel there is hope. 🗣️ Ask "is there anything else you want to share about that?" If we fill in the gaps with our own words, our kids are less likely to share openly, especially adolescents. 🎧 When you're in the car and want to ask your child questions, try turning on music to give them space so they don't have to speak. Allow them time to decompress. 🐶 Pets can be good therapy for kids. Petting can be soothing but having someone who loves you unconditionally can do immeasurable good. Having something to talk to can help kids get what is on the inside to the outside. Resources mentioned: Are My Kids on Track Raising Worry-Free Girls: Helping Your Daughter Feel Braver, Stronger, and Smarter in an Anxious World Raising Boys and Girls Instagram FREE empathetic listening printable
Connect with Sissy: website | Instagram | Facebook | podcast You can find more resources about mental health, parenting, and coping with anxiety at MichelleNietert.com. Please be sure to subscribe to the Raising Mentally Healthy Kids podcast on your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode! And if this episode helped you we'd love it if you'd leave a review to help other parents find this resource. And don't forget to join the conversation about raising mentally healthy kids with Michelle on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter!
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If you've listened before, you'll notice something different about today's episode. Over the past four months, I've been doing a radio segment called Mental Health Monday for Magic 104.1 in Oklahoma City. We've covered a wide range of topics from how empathic listening can help our kids manage anxiety to setting healthy boundaries with our kids while we work from home. You can text any questions you'd like me to answer in upcoming segments to 405-460-5104! Topics we cover: 🧠 (1:14) How can I know if my child is mentally healthy? What can we as parents do to help raise mentally healthy kids? 👂 (6:05) What is empathetic listening and how can it help my child's anxiety? 📚 (10:17) How can parents support a child who's struggling in school? 📱 (14:16) How much screen time is too much screen time? How can I help my kids use screens responsibly? 💔 (17:28) How can I help manage my child's loneliness when they're spending time home alone over the summer? 😱 (21:14) How do I keep my sanity when I'm working from home with kids in the house? 👭 (24:53) How do we know our kids are socializing enough? 🎮 (27:33) Is my child spending too much time in their room? 🎒 (31:26) How can I help my child process their back-to-school anxiety? Follow My Magic Morning Show: website | Instagram | Facebook
Most of us don't love change, but for our teens, times of transition can be especially stressful and lead to anxiety and depression. But don't lose hope, parents! In this episode, I'm excited to share my conversation with author Jennifer Dukes Lee and her daughter, Anna about how their journey through Anna's depression and chronic illness has actually made them closer and their faith stronger. We also discuss when to offer help, when to stick it out and when to move on, and Anna shares some practical things that have helped her process her emotions in a healthy way. Key points from our conversation: ❓ Teens have the biggest struggles during times of transition because of the uncertainty it brings. It's common to run through "what-if" worst-case scenarios. They can reframe that thinking by remembering that things could be good and even if not, they're resilient enough to bounce back. 💭 It's hard to ask for help, especially if you're a teen. But as a parent, if you notice flat emotions, disinterest in things your child used to enjoy, or lethargy, offer them the option to seek counseling. They may not have the energy to get help then, but it can assist them in beginning to think about how they plan to manage difficulties in their life. 🤝 It's important to have a support system in place. We're not meant to go it alone. We need community. 🎢 Getting better is not a linear process. Emotions are rollercoasters; they come in waves. There is not just one area of treatment to address. We must address the whole – mind, body, spirit, and environment. ✨ It can be difficult to know when to stick out a hard situation to build resilience and when to withdraw from an environment. If something is consuming your teen's identity, consider making a change. Our kids need to be in a place they feel safe. We must consider what is best for our child in this season of their life. ☀️ A few practical things Anna has done that have helped are exercise, getting sunlight, reading the Bible, journaling, taking her medication, and surrounding herself with a supportive community. Name the emotion you feel, identify where you feel it in your body, and choose a movement to let it go. If we don't process through emotions, they will loop and become more exaggerated. 💕 If your teen is struggling with depression, don't lose hope. Jennifer and Anna are closer now than ever because they've experienced the struggle together and learned to trust God. Resources mentioned: Growing Slow: Lessons on Un-Hurrying Your Heart from an Accidental Farm Girl Follow Jennifer: website | Instagram | Facebook Follow Anna: website | Seed Apparel Instagram | personal Instagram
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I want to ask you a simple, but hard question - "Are you really okay?" In this episode with licensed professional counselor and author Debra Fileta, we're focusing on how we as parents can do the hard work of building emotional awareness within ourselves so we can normalize talking about emotions within our homes. Debra also shares how our view of God, others, and self affects our spiritual health and offers a practical exercise you can do with your child to help them explore their emotions and create healthy conversations. Key points from our conversation: 🩹 Healthy people make healthy relationships. So much of what we learn is modeled, so one of the best things was can do is take care of ourselves. 🌋 It's crucial that we build emotional awareness. If we don't release the emotions building under the surface in healthy ways, they will show up in an emotional outburst. 🎨 To help your child unpack their emotions, try the "feeling in my body" activity. Have the child draw an outline of their body and have them color it using different colors to show emotions in the body. The magic of the exercise is in the conversation it creates. It normalizes that it's good and normal to talk about emotions. ❓ There are over 500 different emotions. Asking questions expands your child's emotional vocabulary and helps them discover what they're feeling and why. ✨ Emotions are real, but they are not always true. What makes emotions right or wrong is not feeling them, but what we do with that feeling. Emotional control means lining up what you feel with God's truth. ✝️ Our view of God, others, and self are a big indicator of spiritual health because we often transfer our hurts to what we think about God. We must know what we truly believe about God. If we believe the wrong things, then our actions are rooted in the wrong things. The why is crucial. ❤️ What you believe about yourself determines the kind of relationship you believe you deserve. Resources mentioned: Are You Really OK?: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You're Doing, and Why It Matters Printable feeling wheel The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
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