Show Notes
Sleep used to feel simple. You would go to bed, fall asleep, and wake up feeling rested. But somewhere along the way, that changed. If you are finding yourself wide awake at 3am, struggling to fall asleep despite feeling exhausted, or waking up feeling like your sleep has not restored you at all, you are not alone. And more importantly, there is a reason for it. In this episode, we are talking about one of the most common and frustrating symptoms of perimenopause: disrupted sleep. This is not about doing sleep better or adding pressure to your already full plate. It is about understanding what is happening in your body so you can respond with the right kind of support. We explore the hormonal shifts behind these changes. Progesterone, often known as the body’s calming hormone, is one of the first to decline in perimenopause. As levels drop, falling asleep can become harder, sleep can feel lighter, and waking during the night becomes more common. For some women, this is one of the earliest signs that something is shifting. We also look at oestrogen and why changes here can leave your mind feeling busier and harder to switch off at night. If you find yourself replaying conversations, worrying more, or lying awake with a racing mind, this will help you understand why. But hormones are only part of the picture. Many women are surprised when everyday habits suddenly start to impact sleep. That glass of wine, an afternoon coffee, or eating later in the evening can all begin to disrupt sleep more during this stage of life. We talk about: why alcohol can make you feel sleepy but disrupt sleep later how caffeine becomes more stimulating and lingers longer the link between blood sugar, late eating, and waking in the night We also explore the role of stress. During perimenopause, the nervous system can become more sensitive, meaning stress feels stronger and harder to switch off from, especially at night. Importantly, this episode is not just about what is happening. It is about what can help. We share simple, supportive shifts that can help your body feel calmer and more ready for sleep, including: ways to settle a busy mind before bed how writing things down can reduce mental load gentle evening habits that support better sleep the impact of light, screens, and daily movement We also touch on something deeper, the relationship many of us have with rest. So often we push through exhaustion and ignore what our body is asking for. Perimenopause can be a time when those signals become harder to ignore. Learning to listen to your body again can be a powerful shift, not just for your sleep, but for your overall wellbeing. Because sleep is foundational. When it improves, energy returns, mood stabilises, and coping with daily life becomes easier. If you are struggling with sleep, this episode will help you feel reassured, informed, and supported, with small, realistic ways to start supporting your body. And if you want to explore this more deeply, this is something I support women with through my coaching, and we will also be diving into sleep, hormones, and practical tools at The Unpaused Next Chapter retreat. For now, press play and start making sense of your sleep again.
More from The Unpaused Living Podcast
In this second episode of my personal story, I’m talking about something that has shaped so much of my journey — being told that I carry the BRCA2 gene. At 27, I found out I was a BRCA2 carrier. My sister had already experienced breast cancer at just 29, so this wasn’t simply about a genetic result on a piece of paper. It meant confronting a very real possibility of what could happen to me too. In this episode, I share the journey that led me to make the decision to have a double mastectomy — from the fear and uncertainty, to weighing up my options, understanding my risk, and ultimately deciding what felt right for me. It wasn’t a decision I made overnight, and it wasn’t an easy one. I talk honestly about the emotions, the questions, the conversations and the process of coming to terms with choosing preventative surgery at such a young age. This is my story, my experience and my decision. I’m sharing it because sometimes hearing someone else’s story can help you feel a little less alone when you’re facing a difficult decision of your own. This episode is part two of my personal story on The Unpaused Living Podcast.
What happens when you find out you’re a BRCA2 gene carrier at 27? In this special introduction to Series 2 of The Unpaused Living Podcast, Dani Barnett will be sharing in series 2 the full story behind Unpaused. From discovering that her sister had breast cancer at just 29, to finding out she was a BRCA2 gene carrier at 27, Dani’s journey has included genetic testing, a double mastectomy, an oophorectomy, surgical menopause, and the many twists and turns in between. For years, she has shared parts of her experience, but never the whole story. Now, as Unpaused celebrates its first birthday and ahead of World Menopause Day on 18 October, Dani is sharing the experiences that shaped her, changed her understanding of women’s health and ultimately led her to create Unpaused. This short podcast series is about BRCA2, breast cancer, preventative surgery, surgical menopause, menopause, women’s health and the personal journey behind Unpaused — but most importantly, it's about sharing a story that might help someone else feel less alone. Welcome back to The Unpaused Living Podcast. This time… it’s personal.
Why Your Sex Drive Changes in Midlife (And What No One Tells Women About It) In this episode of The Unpaused Living Podcast, we’re having the honest conversation many women need but rarely get—about sex, libido, menopause, painful sex, desire, and intimacy in midlife. Because changes in libido during menopause are rarely about one single thing. We explore the physical, emotional, hormonal, and relational reasons sex can feel different in midlife—and most importantly, what you can do about it. As oestrogen declines, the tissues of the vulva and vagina can become thinner, drier, less elastic, and more fragile. This can lead to pain, regular UTIs and dryness. The most important message: painful sex is not normal, and it is not something you should just put up with. We discuss why vaginal oestrogen can be a game-changer for many women experiencing menopause-related vaginal symptoms. Libido isn’t just hormonal—it’s deeply affected by your nervous system and mental load. When your days are stressful and busy, it’s no surprise you don’t magically feel “in the mood” at the end of the day. Because desire requires mental space. It may not sound sexy—but planning intimacy can recreate the anticipation, build-up, and excitement many couples naturally had when dating. We talk about why intentional intimacy often works better than waiting for spontaneous desire in long-term relationships. Why many women need desire to build gradually rather than appear instantly—and how anticipation, flirtation, emotional connection, and mental preparation all help “fill the jar.” How body image changes in midlife can affect sexual confidence, presence, and pleasure—and why feeling attractive starts with changing the conversation in your own head. Not everyone gets turned on the same way. We unpack the difference between: Physical-first desire: when arousal leads to desire Emotional-first desire: when connection and mental readiness come first Understanding this can completely transform how couples approach intimacy. Many women believe libido is “gone” because they’re waiting to feel spontaneous desire. But in reality, many women—especially in midlife—experience responsive desire, where interest in sex builds afterintimacy begins. This is one of the most important shifts to understand if your libido has changed. For many women, foreplay begins long before the bedroom. Feeling: Appreciated Supported Listened to Connected Desired …can be a crucial part of accessing sexual desire. We discuss practical ways to open the conversation around intimacy, what’s changed, what you want, and what could feel better—without the awkwardness taking over. If your libido has changed in perimenopause or menopause… If sex feels different… If desire is harder to access than it once was… That does not mean something is wrong with you. It means your body, your hormones, your nervous system, your responsibilities, and your relationship dynamics may have changed. And with understanding, communication, and the right support, intimacy in midlife can become: More connected More intentional More fulfilling More pleasurable than ever before Because different does not mean diminished. Pillow Talks Podcast by Vanessa & Xander Marin Magnificent Sex by Peggy Kleinplatz If this episode resonates and you’d like support navigating the changes you’re experiencing in midlife, menopause, relationships, or intimacy, my 1:1 coaching may be a great place to start. Message me to book a discovery call and explore how we can work together.
Heart disease is the leading cause of death in women - yet when we talk about women’s health in midlife, the conversation is still overwhelmingly focused on symptoms, weight gain, and breast cancer awareness. In this episode of The Unpaused Living Podcast, Dani Barnett explores why heart health needs to become part of every menopause conversation and breaks down the powerful connection between declining oestrogen, menopause and cardiovascular disease risk. For years, fear around HRT and breast cancer dominated the narrative around menopause care — but in doing so, many women were never told the full story about how hormones influence long-term health, including the protective role oestrogen plays in the cardiovascular system. In this episode, Dani covers: Why heart disease is the biggest health threat to women in midlife How perimenopause and menopause increase cardiovascular risk The role of oestrogen in protecting the heart and blood vessels Why weight gain, rising cholesterol and blood sugar changes often happen in midlife How heart disease symptoms can present differently in women Why these symptoms are so often mistaken for anxiety, stress or menopause itself The truth about HRT, breast cancer fear and the missing wider health conversation The lifestyle habits that make the biggest difference to long-term heart health: This episode is not about fearmongering - it’s about awareness, education and empowerment. Because menopause is not the beginning of decline. It’s a health checkpoint. A chance to understand what your body needs now - and how to support it for the decades ahead. If you’re navigating perimenopause, menopause, hormonal changes, weight gain, fatigue, anxiety, or simply want to better understand your long-term health, this episode will give you the knowledge you need to make informed decisions about your body and future wellbeing. Dani is a certified menopause coach helping women understand their bodies, hormones and health through evidence-based coaching and realistic lifestyle strategies. Connect for 1:1 coaching and support: www.unpausedliving.co.uk