MEMOIR: Marin Headlands (Chapter 4)

The part of you that adjusts usually changes shape before you've even sat down. In this guided meditation, we stand at the doorway of an ordinary room, notice the part that starts scanning and editing, and feel where it lives in the body. Following the Insight on belonging vs. fitting in, this session invites us to get curious about what that adjusting part is afraid of, offer it gratitude, and let it know it belongs here, with you. Fitting in is about adjusting. Belonging is about arriving. In this session: Settling in: held up without having to earn it Standing at the doorway of a room where you adjust Finding where the adjusting lives in your body How long have you been doing this for me? What are you afraid would happen if you stopped? Gratitude, and "you don't have to earn that" Where belonging lives from the inside Companion episode: 269, Belonging vs. Fitting In: exploreifs.com/269 From the archive: Exiles: The Tender Parts We Hide: exploreifs.com/229 Support the work: This podcast is listener-supported: faithfullygrowing.com/donate

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM That's just Tim, but we love him. I heard it a lot in my seminary years. It was kind. And it left me feeling loved, but not quite known. In this Insight session, we unpack the difference between fitting in and belonging through the lens of Internal Family Systems. Fitting in is about adjusting. Belonging is about arriving. We look at the belonging wound a younger part can carry, the protector parts that work so hard to keep it hidden, and why belonging starts inside, when our parts come to feel they belong to Self.

On the last night of September, Tennessee tried to execute Christa Pike. After a second dose, she kept breathing. By that same night, people in scrubs were working to save the life the state had just tried to end. In this special Insight + Meditation session, I sit with that story: with Colleen Slemmer, the nineteen-year-old whose life was taken in 1995, with the hurt girl Christa once was, and with a very different case from Massachusetts that broke a tidy answer I'd carried for years. Where I've landed is simple and hard: sacred means holding the whole person. Then we turn inward. The state isn't the only one that shrinks people down to their worst moment. Our parts do it too, to others and to ourselves. The guided meditation invites you to notice a part that has reduced someone to one moment, get curious about what it's protecting, and quietly ask, who else is here? You don't have to agree with me to be welcome here. Wherever you've landed, I hope you'll bring curiosity and care. Content note: this session discusses an execution and the death of children (postpartum psychosis). The meditation begins after the teaching if you'd like to skip ahead. In this session: • A reader who disagrees, and why I respected it • Granny Betty and the vigil room • Christa Pike, and remembering Colleen Slemmer • The sentence I grew up with • The case that broke my tidy answer • If you see it differently • Teaching: shrinking a person to one part • Guided meditation: who else is here? From the archive: "Who's Here?" A Small Practice for Real Life: exploreifs.com/245 Read the full essay: exploreifs.com/substack I'm an IFS practitioner and coach, not a licensed therapist. This isn't therapy, it's an invitation to notice.

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELD-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND 25 IFS MEDITATONS ALL FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, GET THE SELF-LED PAUSE STARTER KIT AND THE 25 IFS MEDITATIONS FREE @ EXPLOREIFS.COM