E04: The End of Trauma & Suffering: Learning how to Feel, Heal, & Grieve

The labyrinth of personal healing is often clouded with the shame and secrecy of our deepest struggles. Embark with me, Tarek Ali, as I traverse the raw and intimate pathways of my own self-discovery, laying bare the battles with anxiety and the transformative power of returning to one's roots. This episode is a candid revelation, an invitation to listeners to journey alongside as I unpack the layers of my past that have sculpted the person I am today. From the gentrifying streets of Los Angeles to the private recesses of personal trauma, we tackle the complexities of self-worth, body autonomy, queerness, and the messiness of healing. Through the lens of my own narrative, we examine several things: the intersection of queer identity and navigating sexuality, bringing to light the stereotypes within the LGBTQ+ community and the struggles for self-acceptance in the face of social pressures; reclaiming your body when past experiences stole it from you; and rekindling the relationship you have with you body after a lifetime of self-abuse. I share poignant moments from my own childhood and the journey towards reclaiming my body's narrative. It's a story of growth, self-love, and the courage to confront the demons of one's past. As we navigate the intricate dance of self-discovery, we laugh, we learn, and perhaps most importantly, we find solace in the shared experiences of our struggles. This heartfelt episode culminates in a celebration of vulnerability and the solace found in expressing one's truth. It's a reminder that healing is an ongoing process, one that requires grace, self-compassion, and an unwavering commitment to authenticity. I leave you with thoughts steeped in hope and encouragement, urging you to embrace your journey with kindness and reflection, and to continue the conversation on self-compassion as we part ways. Thank you for lending your ears and hearts; may this dialogue resonate with you as much as it has with me, Tarek Ali.

Several years after being betrayed by the people she trusted the most, Johnell joins Tarek to share her story no one else has ever made space for. From her partner to her best friends, the people she thought would always be there seemed to turn their back on her when she needed them most. Struggling to navigate this betrayal and the responsibility of becoming a new mother, she was forced to move on, but so many words were left unsaid. Words, feelings, anger, and sadness that never faded, just bottled up inside of her. In this episode, Tarek guides Johnell through expressing and letting all of these emotions out so that she can heal and move forward. Tarek also provides her (and listeners) with additional tools to release bottled-up emotions, and how to heal herself during this grieving process.

In this episode, Tarek provides a perspective shift for the different voices that live in your head. The voice that tells you that you aren't good enough, to the voice that tells you to go after that dream, to the voice that tells you it'll never get better. Tarek gives tools to identify these different voices, and how to manage them moving forward.

After 4 months sober, Mary joins Tarek in sharing her testimony of addiction to alcohol, diving into the false validation it previously provided her. Creating a safe space and emphasizing radical grace, Tarek helps Mary connect with her inner child to evaluate what she needs and how Mary can now be the one to provide for her. Mary experiences a range of emotions in the episode from anger to heartbreak to shame, but Tarek reminds her that it is through her experiences that she is qualified to heal others and how forgiveness is crucial to the journey towards peace. 00:00 - 10:15 Sobriety - An Internal break from the Past 10:15 The First Sip to a Culture of Drinking 12:50 Alcohol was the Bridge 19:08 Fulfilling the Needs of Our Inner Child 27:04 The Exhausting Process of Healing 35:34 Conscious Change for an Ideal Life 39:39 Radical Grace 46:50 Experience is Qualification, Accepting the Struggle, & Forgiving Yourself 55:15 Addicted to the Escape 1:04:04 Life Cleanse - Experiencing Everything for the First Time Again 1:13:38 Making Space for Sobriety to be Unenjoyable 1:20:12 Celebrating the Journey

After suddenly disappearing from the podcast for 6 months, Tarek returns with a powerful episode full of radical transparency and vulnerability like he never left. In this episode, Tarek takes us on the journey of what caused him to hit rock bottom when he thought he was on top of the world, a shocking diagnosis from his psychiatrist, navigating new medication, and everything he has learned about himself and anxiety in the process. This episode will give you insight into the process of starting a new medication for your mental health, how to identify and manage your own anxiety and/or depression, and encourage you to allow more support in your life from family, friends, and more. 0:00-10:06 Too Much Trauma — stressors that got me here 10:06 Overcompensating, Avoiding Depression, Toxic Positivity, Sacrifice 15:42 The Evaluation 18:40 The Diagnosis 20:36 Fear of Starting Medicine, Self Shaming, Not Deserving Help 23:15 Changing Perspective of Medicine, Fighting Stigma 30:12 No Time to Live, Only Time to Cope 38:35 Healing with my Dad 42:40 Keep Trying. Keep Trying. Keep Trying. 44:20 Identifying Anxiety. 50:00 Not a Cure 52:14 Normalizing Anxiety 1:00:00 0 to 100...mg? Self Shame, Giving Anxiety a Voice 1:04:00 Affirmations, Motivation, & Encouragement