Poorna Bell: Wanting more, the mental load and why it's important to weed your friendships
Not Another Mummy PodcastShow Notes
My guest today is Poorna Bell - award-winning journalist, author and competitive powerlifter. Poorna has written for The Times, Grazia, Red and Stylist among many others, and her latest book, She Wanted More, examines the quiet revolution taking place among women over 40 who are questioning the rules they've been handed and rewriting what the next chapter of their lives looks like.
She talks with me about what those rules actually are, who set them, and why so many women in their 40s are reaching a point where they simply refuse to keep playing by them. Poorna is honest about her own journey - losing her husband in her 30s, navigating a life that doesn't look like her mother's and finding an unexpected sense of peace in that - and she has a lot to say about the mental load, the patterns that get set early in relationships and why in 2026 we're still having the same conversation about who does the dishes.
We also chat about: Why 90% of the 1,000 women Poorna surveyed said friendship - not family or romance - is what matters most as they get older, and what that tells us about what we've been sold The concept of "weeding" your life - and the gentlest way to let go of friendships that no longer serve you without blowing everything up Why the patterns set early in a relationship are so hard to shift later and what that means for the mental load conversation What it means to build a sense of purpose when mainstream society offers you precious little validation for living differently How strength training replaced diet culture noise, and why Poorna lifts heavy weights not for how she looks, but for the bones she wants to have at 80
Find Poorna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/poornabell/ Find Poorna on Substack: https://poornabell.substack.com She Wanted More is available wherever you buy books.
If you enjoyed this episode then please leave a rating or review - and you can follow the podcast to ensure you don’t miss future episodes. Thank you!
Not Another Mummy Podcast is brought to you by me, journalist and author Alison Perry. I'm a mum of three and I love interviewing people about parenthood and confidence on the podcast. You can check out my other episodes and you can come chat to me on Instagram: @iamalisonperry or on Threads: @iamalisonperry. You can buy my book OMG It's Twins now.
Music: Epidemic Sound Artwork: Eleanor Bowmer Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/notanothermummy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More from Not Another Mummy Podcast
This brand new series of Not Another Mummy Podcast kicks off today with a stonker of a guest. I'm joined by the incredible Dr Shefali - clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author and founder of the conscious parenting movement, whose work has been championed by Oprah and Pink.
My guest on this special episode, brought to you in partnership with YouTube, is Dr Garth Graham. As well as being YouTube's Head of Health, Garth is also a dad of four, from age three up to a teenager.
My guest today is content creator Kelly Taylor (previously known as Kids and the Commute) who turns the chaos of the school run, class WhatsApp groups and the work-and-kids juggle into some of the funniest, most relatable content on social media.
Kate Silverton needs no introduction to most parents. She spent years as one of the most familiar faces on BBC News before retraining as a child therapist and writing two bestselling books There's No Such Thing as Naughty and There's Still No Such Thing as Naughty.
My guest on this episode is Rose Stokes, best known for her honest, nuanced writing on motherhood, women's health and living in a body the world won't stop having opinions about. You'll have seen her byline in the Guardian, Grazia, the Telegraph and Women's Health. Rose is also a mum of two, and she's just about to launch her first podcast, A Matter of Fat, with Cambridge geneticist Professor Giles Yeo.