Simon Mayo's Confessions

Put the kettle on and make some tea & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Show Notes

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for another batch of confessions.

In a classic from the crypt, a lonely trucker accepts one Guinness too many… then points a hopeful Beryl to entirely the wrong big red lorry.

Then it’s Jan’s rabbit escape that ends in an axe, a fingertip flap, and a grandad who chooses bunny retrieval over first aid.

Plus: a prison officer’s catastrophic coat-sniffing moment, and a first job interview ruined by dog poo, a blocked loo, and Captain Red Braces.

Got a confession? [email protected]

More from Simon Mayo's Confessions

Oct 16, 2026

It’s a very, very special edition of Simon Mayo’s Confessions… a Cluedo special.

Oct 9, 2026

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective. Mike takes us back to 1971, where a cow’s eye from biology class ends up hiding under a canteen lettuce leaf… with Big Cath, Carol-with-an-E. Then Babs squeezes into her teenage daughter’s favourite dress, enjoys 30 seconds of catwalk glory but it all end terribly. Plus: there's a bus-shelter “coolant” taste test, and Steve’s Frankenstein-inspired plan to rejuvenate Gran with copper wire and a lightning storm. Got a confession? [email protected]

Oct 2, 2026

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Holly, Sister Suzi and Brother Matthew for Episode 7 of Season 8… and yes, the numbering is definitely, probably, completely accurate.

Sep 25, 2026

It’s a distinctly international trip into the confessional this week with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective. Craig kicks things off from behind the pharmacy counter in 1989, when an eager attempt to help a customer find “green ones” turns into a mortifying party‑poppers misunderstanding… Then ex‑RAF Police Corporal Binky Blythe teaches an Italian driver a “romantic” phrase that ends up being delivered to the Admiral’s wife. Plus: Nev’s compost‑heap ashes swap, and William’s French chemist translation help that accidentally escalates into Bon Saint‑Bernard deep‑heat justice. Got a confession? [email protected]

Sep 18, 2026

Episode five of Season Eight drops Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective back into the confessional for more chaos, dodgy logic, and the kind of stories that definitely shouldn’t be told… but are.

See all episodes →