Why "I'll Never Lose My Temper Again" Backfires When You're a Cycle Breaker Raised by a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic, emotionally immature, and otherwise toxic parents love to say their adult child is the toxic one or that it's them walking on eggshells around their child. But despite this being a common talking point in dysfunctional family systems, it's not exactly accurate as to what's happening underneath the surface. In this episode we discuss: Why adult children and parents aren’t peers, even when you’re both adultsThe difference between a parent walking on eggshells and a child walking o...

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries are understandably complicated. But, what if you could start making changes by setting some with yourself? In this episode you'll learn: Boundaries with yourself: what they are, and why knowing your limits comes before anything you communicate to your parentWhy the urge to explain every change runs so deep when you grow up in this type of family dynamicWhat this can look like IRL...

You've known for months exactly what boundary you need to set. And every time you sit down to do it, something in your body says absolutely not, and you tell yourself you'll deal with it later. If you grew up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or narcissistic traits, you learned early on that reading the room kept you safe and while expressing your emotions was a problem. It's one of the many reasons cycle breakers often grow up to be great intellectualizers who find...

A quick update first- I'm shifting into a more sustainable rhythm for the podcast this fall, then I get into part two of my story. I talk about growing up with a Jekyll and Hyde mom, what that taught me, and how my understanding of what was actually going on with her has changed over the years. I talk about how if I could stumble through my own healing as clumsily as I have and still end up with the skills and support I have now, I firmly believe anyone who is invested in breaking the cycle i...

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