138. This Is NOT Who I AM. Why Capable, Driven Women Keep Settling for Narcissistic Men

What if the missing piece in your healing toolkit has been growing in the Amazon rainforest for thousands of years? If you’ve tried therapy, journaling, and every healing podcast known to womankind — and you’re still circling the same patterns, the same thoughts, the same ex — this episode is worth your full attention. Today I pull back the curtain on a deeply intentional plant medicine retreat experience that works at a level most conventional approaches simply can’t reach, and why it might be the next powerful layer to help you get unstuck. Here’s what this episode opens up for you: How a week in sacred ceremony with Ayahuasca can cut through months (or years) of rumination, second guessing and self-doubt What it looks like to feel the body-level knowing you’ve been searching for (whether you’re still in the narcissistic cycle or trying to make sense of the aftermath) Why healing in community changes everything for your growth and your nervous system

Have you ever had the strength to walk away, only to find yourself back in their arms two weeks later wondering what the hell happened to you? If you’ve been white-knuckling a breakup from a narcissistic relationship, you already know that knowing you should leave and staying gone are two wildly different things. The anxiety, the panic, the 2am scroll through their Instagram — it’s not a lack of willpower. It’s nervous system dysregulation, and it’s keeping you hostage in a loop you desperately want out of. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why your brain keeps dragging you back (nostalgia, panic, and all), and the one thing you actually need to move through it without texting them How nervous system healing opens the door to understanding the deeper patterns and beliefs that keep pulling you toward someone who hurt you What it looks like to finally look at your ex with the ick and stay there

Have you ever heard a song and felt like it was written specifically about your life... and your ex? Taylor Swift didn't just drop a bop with Patient Zero. She dropped a mirror, and if you've loved a narcissist, you already know exactly which song we're talking about. In this episode, I gets personal. After five years of healing and holding space for women walking the same road, a Taylor Swift song cracked something open I wasn't expecting. Here's what you'll feel from this episode: Validation and confirmation that peels back a layer of shame you didn't even know you were still carrying A reminder that you don't have to white-knuckle this alone — whether you left yesterday or five years ago, this episode is proof that we always need people in our corner

What happens when the same drive that built your career, your friendships, and your life is a working against you within a trauma bond that's draining you dry? This episode is for the woman who has tried everything to help her partner thrive— the therapy appointments, the resume help, the boundary-setting conversations, yet somehow always end with her apologizing and still wanting the person who is not adding to her life. Here's what you’ll feel clear on from this episode: Why your goal-oriented, fixer personality isn't a flaw, and exactly how it's being used against you in ways you haven't fully seen yet The real reason the narcissistic cycle keeps restarting and the trauma bond strengthens (hint: it's not because you haven't tried hard enough) A way to finally redirect that fierce determination back toward the one person who actually deserves it: you

What if the reason you can't walk away from this relationship isn't because you love them — but because you're not sure it's even them who's the problem? The second guessing is keeping you stuck in a painful loop: knowing you shouldn't go back, but needing to know you truly tried everything before you close the door for good. Here's what you'll take away from this episode: Why learning communication skills and boundaries isn't enough, and what's actually getting in the way of you using them How to finally get off the I-want-to-change-but-can’t cycle so you can show up differently in the relationship (and actually see how they respond) The #1 thing you need to show up as your best self that will give you the peace of mind that comes from knowing you changed what was in your control