Welcome to Call Me Stepmom: We’re Done Pretending This Is Easy

Does your teenage stepkid walk past you without saying a word, disappear into their room, give you one-word answers, or act like they couldn't care less whether you're there? And have you ever caught yourself wondering: Do they actually dislike me or is this just being a teenager? In this episode , I sit down with Dr. Todd Jensen, a professor at UNC–Chapel Hill who researches stepfamilies and family relationships, to talk about what the research actually tells us about stepmoms and teenage stepkids. We get into why teenagers may become distant, why entering a child's life when they're older can make stepfamily relationships more complicated, and why stepmoms can easily interpret normal adolescent behavior as rejection. We also talk about the reality that sometimes a close relationship simply doesn't develop and why a peaceful, respectful relationship can still be enough. Dr. Jensen breaks down what his research suggests actually helps build trust with teenage stepkids including tone, giving teens agency, timing, and allowing the relationship to develop naturally instead of forcing connection. We also talk about discipline, loyalty binds, difficult stepkids, stepmom-stepdaughter tension, the biological parent's role, and one of the biggest mistakes well-meaning stepmoms make: Taking their stepkid's resistance personally. If you've ever felt rejected, disrespected, or like a stranger in your own home because of your teenage stepkid, this conversation is for you.

What happens when you understand blended family life from both sides? This week, I’m sitting down with Amanda Keith, wife of Present Father Randy, who has the unique perspective of being both the bio mom navigating co-parenting AND the stepmom navigating a high-conflict bio mom. And trust me, we get into it. Amanda opens up about leaving her previous marriage, blending five kids, becoming a full-time bonus mom, supporting her husband through high-conflict co-parenting, and what happened when their two exes actually started communicating with each other. We also talk about the part stepmoms know all too well: how do you protect your marriage, your peace, and your relationship with your stepkids when there is constant conflict happening outside your home? Amanda shares how she separates her feelings about the other household from her stepkids’ feelings, why she refuses to speak negatively about their parents in front of them, and the lesson she keeps coming back to: be confident in who you are and stop letting the outside noise define your role. This one is for every stepmom who has ever thought, “How am I supposed to stay out of the drama when the drama keeps showing up at my front door?”

Being a stepmom can be exhausting and sometimes it’s not because of everything you’re doing. It’s because of everything you’re thinking about: the schedules, transitions, the other household, your stepkids’ feelings, your husband’s feelings and whether you should speak up or stay quiet. Whether you’re doing too much, not enough, overstepping, or somehow responsible for fixing a problem that wasn’t yours to begin with. In this solo episode, I’m talking about the invisible mental load that can come with being a stepmom and how I’ve learned to stop carrying every problem, emotion, and responsibility like it belongs to me. I’m sharing some of my own very real moments (including a laundry basket situation that had me questioning why I didn’t just speak up), the resentment that can build when we constantly put everyone else’s feelings first, and one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in almost a decade of stepmom life: Noticing something doesn’t automatically make it your responsibility to fix it. If stepmom life has been feeling mentally exhausting lately, this episode is for you.

What happens when we stop talking about the dads in blended families and actually ask them what’s going on in their heads? This week, I’m joined by Kelly and John from the Better Baby Daddy Club for a refreshingly honest conversation about divorce, dad guilt, custody, co-parenting, stepmoms, and the mistakes they wish they could go back and change. Both men get real about their own role in past relationships and how maturity, boundaries, faith, therapy, and a whole lot of growth changed the way they show up as fathers and co-parents. We also get into something SO many stepmoms struggle with: why divorced dads sometimes parent differently out of guilt, what happens when a new woman enters an already-established family, and why a husband may not even notice the behaviors that are driving his wife crazy. And Kelly shares what he learned after being married to stepmoms, including why making his marriage a priority required him to be much more intentional about making his wife feel like she belonged. Plus, we talk about kids moving between homes, sibling relationships, discipline across households, boundaries with an ex, “ours babies,” and what these dads wish stepmoms understood about the men trying to navigate all of it. It’s honest. It’s funny. And it might just make you look at your husband’s side of the blended-family experience a little differently.

When a divorced dad keeps letting his ex control the emotional temperature of his life, the new relationship pays the price. In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Wood who reveals why "being nice" to an ex often turns into chaos, how to set boundaries without escalating conflict, and what it actually takes to build a stable home for a new partner and child.Bryan speaks from hard-won experience: military injury, early retirement, divorce, financial devastation, and then a full rebuild into an emotionally and financially independent life. He and Rebecca get real about the pressure stepmoms feel when they’re unknowingly pulled into a marriage with the husband and the ex, and why that dynamic can quietly destroy trust if it isn’t handled early. You'll discover: What it really means for a man to emotionally move on from his ex Why "professional relationship" is the right mindset for co-parenting How over-accommodating an ex can backfire and create more conflict What a divorced dad owes his new partner before the relationship gets serious Why stepmoms should not be responsible for managing the ex's boundaries