Show Notes
"You become your father, and it's really hard not to." Jake Hurwitz opens this episode by reading that line, then sits down across from the person it's about: his dad, Dan.
Dan grew up in a home full of arguing, with no real value system and a father he says never tried his best. Before Jake was born, he made a vow to parent differently. Thirty years later, his son is the one he calls for advice. Jake asks him the questions most sons never get to ask: what he swore he'd never do as a dad, what he still wishes he'd done differently, and what he wants Jake to carry forward when he has kids of his own.
They also get into the softness of modern parenting, why the college sticker on the back of the car doesn't mean much, and what it means to be a man today.
In this episode:
- What Dan decided he'd never do as a father, before Jake was born - Why he believes his own dad didn't do his best, and what doing your best actually means - Living life "in between gut punches" - The softness of modern parenting, and why kids need to hit their heads a few times - Making life easy for your kids vs. making great kids - Why there's no handbook for being a dad - Jake's Ironman, and finally being able to say he gave it everything - Patience, flexibility and being a man of your word
New episodes of The Optimist every week. Watch on YouTube, listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
02:03 "You become your father"
02:46 What he vowed he'd never do as a dad
05:47 Growing up in a house full of arguing
12:11 Was his dad doing his best?
16:39 The softness of America
17:39 In between gut punches
22:05 Making it easy vs. making great kids
27:47 The values he passed on
29:21 What he wishes he'd done differently
37:48 There's no handbook for parenting
45:15 Jake's Ironman
48:44 What a parent's job really is
55:57 What to carry forward as a dad
01:01:07 What it means to be a man
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