Why You Still Feel on Edge After Narcissistic Abuse...Even When They're Gone

🎁 Fun Queen Resources 💌 Join the Free Private Facebook Community — connect with other Queens rebuilding after narcissistic abuse.👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcissisticabuserecoverypodcast 👑 Grab Your Free Boundaries Pocket Guide — learn how to say nope without guilt.👉 https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 💬 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts — ready-made boundary phrases that protect your peace.👉 https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ EMAIL ME: [email protected] Speaker 1 (00:00):

Hello, queens. All right. Last week I told you we're changing things up around here. We are giving the narcissist less airtime because haven't we had enough? Huh? Anyone know Uncle Jesse? Did I sound like him? All right. So we've analyzed what the narcissists do, their gaslighting, manipulation, very clear lack of boundaries. We've talked about going no contact my favorite way to deal with them. We've talked about all of it and all that's super, super important, especially when you're first realizing what happened to you. But eventually I want us to ask a different question. And by the way, all those episodes are in my past library of episodes. You can go, if you need to catch up there first, go right ahead. There's tons of information. But I want us to ask a different question now. Once you've gone through all that, once you understand more about the narcissist and how they work, how their minds work, what tactics they use, all that. (01:03)What happened to you while you were surviving all of that? And maybe even more importantly, how do we help you feel like you again? Or maybe you don't even know the version of you that is in your future and is going to be amazing and shiny and queen like. Because one of the strangest things about getting out of these situations is that the narcissists can be gone. They are powerful. They're not as powerful as they think, but they are powerful in a way of, it can still feel like you're waiting for the next thing to happen. You can be sitting in your house, nobody's yelling, no one's criticizing you, no one's giving you the silent treatment or accusing you of something you didn't do. Nobody's making you explain yourself for hours. Everything is technically maybe fine, but it doesn't feel fine, right? But your body is like, I don't trust this. (02:02)Anybody? Okay. Today we're talking about why you can still feel on edge after narcissistic abuse, even when you're finally safe. (02:14)So if you spent months or years with a narcissist or even emotionally abusive person, think about how much information you are constantly processing. What mood are they in? How did they say that? Was that a normal fine or was that fine? I feel like it's like there's this robot that ends up in our head, just these standard questions you're scanning, you're questioning, right? Why are they quiet? Why they shut the door like that? Should I bring this up? Should I wait? How can I say this without upsetting them? Are they going to twist what I say? Yes, they are, by the way. Do I have proof of what actually happened? Am I remembering this correctly? Maybe I'm the problem. You're not the problem. But you become a detective in your own relationship, whatever that relationship is. And when somebody's reactions are unpredictable, paying close attention can feel protective because maybe if you notice the mood change early enough, you can prevent the explosion. (03:16)Maybe if you choose exactly the right words, you can avoid the argument. Maybe if you're good enough, calm enough, accommodating enough, understanding enough, everything will stay okay. Except you eventually learn there was no perfect combination, but your brain still learned something during that. Pay attention. Don't relax too much. Something could change. And then you leave, you're out of the situation. And this is the part I don't think we talk about enough. You can remove yourself from the abusive situation, but you don't instantly just era