Episode 177: Conflict Avoidance Aggression And Boundary Setting with Eric Sjoberg

Why do some relationships become trapped in cycles of conflict, fear, and emotional reactivity? In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brooke Olson is joined by Jussi Light, LMFT, and Bryson Greaves, Ph.D., to explore how early family experiences and past relationship patterns can shape the way we respond to conflict later in life. Together, they look beyond labels such as attachment styles and personality disorders to examine the underlying dynamics that influence human behavior. They discuss how childhood experiences, unresolved fears, shame, and past betrayals can affect communication, trust, boundaries, and co-parenting relationships. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding what drives our reactions, recognizing emotional triggers, and building safer, healthier interactions that prioritize children's well-being. In this episode, you'll discover: How family-of-origin experiences can influence adult relationships. Why focusing on behavior and relationship dynamics can be more helpful than relying on labels. How fear and past experiences can fuel conflict between co-parents. Why boundaries, trust, and emotional awareness matter when navigating high-conflict situations. How understanding underlying patterns can support healthier co-parenting and better outcomes for children.

In Episode 7 of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brooke and Charlie explore an important question for parents navigating high-conflict divorce and custody situations: What do you really want, and what will it take to get there? When parents are caught in years of conflict over custody, money, assets, and other disputes, it can become difficult to see beyond survival and the next battle. The hosts discuss how identifying what you truly need, what your children need, and what is actually worth fighting for can help you move forward. Brooke and Charlie share real-world examples of parents who became stuck in prolonged conflict, sometimes spending years, significant financial resources, and enormous emotional energy fighting battles that ultimately prevented them from moving on. This episode examines how to distinguish between fighting for justice, fighting for survival, and fighting over things that may no longer serve you or your children. The conversation also explores why it can sometimes be easier to identify what you don't want first, and how that clarity can help you determine what you actually need. If you're struggling to move forward after a high-conflict divorce, this episode offers practical perspective on defining your priorities, reducing unnecessary conflict, and developing strategies to build a healthier path forward for yourself and your children.

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, Brook Olsen and Nicola Ranson delve into the complexities of coercive control, narcissism, and the dynamics of abusive relationships, including cult-like behaviors. They discuss the impact of these dynamics on victims, the importance of recovery, and strategies for navigating family dynamics and parental alienation. The conversation delves into the dynamics of coercive control, narcissism, and the healing process from trauma, particularly in the context of abusive relationships and cults. It emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics, the role of self-compassion, and the complexities involved in recovery and personal growth.

In this episode of the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, host Brook Olsen sits down with Beven Burns, Executive Director of Bridges Middle School, the only middle school in Oregon exclusively serving neurodivergent students. Beven shares how her school builds belonging, confidence, and community for kids with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence — helping them move from feeling excluded to feeling truly understood. The conversation dives into the shame and stigma many families carry, the power of viewing neurodivergence through an asset-based lens rather than a deficit-based one, and practical strategies for parents — especially in co-parenting households — like the power of the pause, mindful breathing, and building predictable routines. Beven also recommends resources like understood.org for parents seeking support and tools to navigate neurodivergence at home and at school.

In this episode, Brooke sits down again with Michelle Mitchell for a conversation on "getting it right" in co-parenting and coaching. They trace Michelle's own journey — from her early co-parenting years and first classes back in 2013–2014, through training with Brooke, to becoming a coach herself — and use it as a mirror for where many listeners are today. The conversation moves through the evolution of coaching and training over time, the triage model for managing crisis versus deeper work, and why simplifying internal systems matters more than accumulating more knowledge. They also dig into the difference between knowing a skill and embodying it, the role of awareness and integrity in staying out of reactive patterns, why AI can't replace the discernment needed for real internal work, and why this is ultimately a lifelong journey rather than a problem to solve once. Chapters: 00:00 The Journey of Getting It Right 05:30 The Triage Model and Layered Learning 21:13 The Impact of Behavior and Orientation 27:49 Protecting Children in Conflict 34:33 Conscious Parenting and Generational Shift 40:30 The Importance of Quality over Volume 53:14 The Journey of Personal Growth 59:00 The Lifelong Journey of Personal Development About our guest: Michelle Mitchell, J.D., is a California-licensed attorney and founder of High Conflict Resolutions, LLC, a Certified HCDP™ Coach and Educator and a Certified New Ways for Families® Instructor whose practice spans high-conflict co-parenting coaching, structured co-parenting communication coaching, parent coordination, and litigation preparation. Connect with Michelle: Website: coparentingcoach.com Email: [email protected] Instagram: @coparentingwithmichelle Facebook: Coach Michelle SD LinkedIn: Michelle D. Mitchell If you're ready for structure instead of chaos, go to https://disengage.highconflict.net/next-step and take the next step. We'll guide you from there. For classes or one-on-one consults with Brook, please visit our website to register: https://www.highconflict.net/ Free High Conflict Diversion Program Booklet: "When Co-Parenting Doesn't Work." https://disengage.highconflict.net/free-booklet Join our mailing list: https://disengage.highconflict.net/emails Disengage and Thrive: One Email at a Time