Who Gets the Dog? Pets, Property and the Emotional Custody Battle in Divorce
Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & JopShow Notes
In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) explore one of the most emotionally charged and increasingly common issues in modern separation: what happens to pets during divorce? With a special guest appearance from “Buddy” 🐶, the conversation unpacks how Australian family law now treats pets—legally defined as “companion animals”—and what that means for separating couples.
Pets Are Now “Companion Animals” Under the LawThe episode opens with a major legal update:
Under recent changes to the Family Law Act, pets are now formally recognised as companion animals
However, they are still legally classified as property
This means:
No “custody” or “residence” orders in the traditional sense
Courts determine ownership and possession, not shared parenting arrangements
Why Pets Matter So Much in SeparationBoth hosts acknowledge the emotional reality:
Pets are often seen as “fur babies”
They play a significant emotional role in family structures
Attachment can be strong for:
Children
Partners
Entire households
Despite this emotional significance, the law still treats them through a property lens, not a family member lens.
How Courts Decide Who Gets the PetThe hosts break down the key factors courts consider:
Who is the registered owner
Who purchased the animal
Who performs daily care:
Feeding
Walking
Grooming
Veterinary care
Who has had the primary relationship with the pet
The court may also consider:
Financial responsibility
Living arrangements post-separation
Practical ability to care for the animal
Family Violence and PetsA serious and important aspect of the discussion:
Pets can be used as tools in coercive control and emotional abuse
Courts recognise that animals may be:
Subject to harm
Used to intimidate or manipulate a partner or children
This can influence outcomes where safety concerns exist
No “Shared Custody” of Pets (Legally)One of the clearest legal points in the episode:
Australian family law does not recognise shared care arrangements for pets
Outcomes are limited to:
One party retaining ownership
Transfer of ownership
Sale or disposal of the animal (rare and undesirable outcome)
The hosts reflect on how this contrasts with common informal agreements people try to make (e.g. “week-on, week-off pet arrangements”), which have no formal legal standing under the Act.
Emotional and Legal Conflict in Pet DisputesThe episode highlights real-world tensions:
Pets are often used as leverage in separation disputes
Disputes can reflect deeper relationship breakdown issues
Courts are increasingly aware of:
Strategic use of pets in negotiations
Emotional pressure placed through pet possession
Case Insight: When Attachment Collides with OwnershipA case example discussed:
A child formed a strong attachment to a dog
Despite emotional factors, the court awarded the dog to the parent who was the primary owner and caregiver
Key takeaway: Emotional attachment is considered, but does not override ownership and caregiving evidence. The Parrot in Court – A Humorous Legal Anecdote 🦜A memorable story from the episode:
A court dispute over a macaw parrot
The bird repeated insulting phrases during proceedings
The judge observed the behaviour and awarded the bird to the husband
The story highlights:
How unpredictable evidence can be
The humorous reality of property disputes involving animals
Strategic Insight: Pets Can Become LeverageThe hosts caution listeners that:
Pets can unintentionally become bargaining tools
Early legal advice is important to avoid escalation
Courts are increasingly attentive to underlying coercion or manipulation
Connect with Dear Divorce DiaryFollow Dear Divorce Diary for more real conversations about separation, parenting, family violence, court processes, mediation, and rebuilding life after divorce. Available on:
YouTube
Spotify
TikTok
Listeners a
More from Dear Divorce Diary - With Daz & Jop
In this episode of Dear Divorce Diaries, family law experts Darren Mort (Family Law Barrister) and Joplin Higgins (Family Law Solicitor) unpack one of the most emotionally charged and legally risky issues in parenting disputes: withholding children when court orders are in place—or when they’re about to be made. Through candid discussion, practical legal insight, and real courtroom dynamics, the episode explores when (if ever) a parent can justify not complying with parenting orders, and what consequences follow when they do.
In this emotionally charged and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle one of the most heartbreaking and legally complex issues in family law: relocation after separation. What happens when one parent wants to move interstate… or overseas… with the children? Can the court stop a parent from leaving Australia? Does a mother or father have the “right” to move home? What happens when children are caught between two countries, two cultures, and two parents who both love them? Through a powerful role-play scenario involving a separated Australian-Norwegian family, Darren and Joplin unpack exactly how relocation disputes unfold inside the Family Court — from emotional arguments and legal strategy to parenting proposals and the harsh reality of what judges actually look for. This episode explores the devastating emotional impact relocation cases can have on families, while giving listeners a rare behind-the-scenes look at how these cases are argued, assessed, and ultimately decided.
In one of the most confronting and candid episodes of Dear Divorce Diary so far, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins tackle a topic rarely spoken about openly in family law — pornography, addiction, intimacy, coercion, and the impact it can have on marriages, parenting, finances, and divorce proceedings. This is not a sensationalist conversation. It’s a nuanced and thoughtful discussion about how pornography increasingly appears in affidavit material, relationship breakdowns, financial disputes, coercive control allegations, and parenting concerns inside the family court system. Darren and Jop explore the difficult reality that pornography itself is not illegal — but the way it affects relationships, consent, emotional safety, financial stability, and family dynamics can become deeply problematic.
In this powerful and deeply practical episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Darren Mort and Joplin Higgins unpack one of the most misunderstood parts of the family law system — mediation. After receiving a flood of listener messages and social media comments, Darren and Jop dive into the reality of Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), court-ordered mediation, shuttle negotiations, coercive control during mediation, and whether the system is genuinely helping separating families — or simply creating another layer of trauma. From unsafe mediation experiences to “tick-box” certificates, legally assisted negotiations, family violence dynamics, and the emotional pressure placed on victim survivors, this episode delivers a brutally honest look at what really happens behind closed doors in family law negotiations.
In this practical and highly informative episode of Dear Divorce Diary, family law barrister Darren Mort and family lawyer Joplin Higgins answer one of the most common questions sent in by listeners navigating the family law system without legal representation. Drawing directly from a listener question submitted through social media, Darren and Joplin unpack the reality of preparing for a final hearing in the Family Court as a self-represented litigant. This episode delivers real-world insight, courtroom practicalities, and critical guidance for people trying to navigate one of the most stressful legal processes of their lives. Preparing for Final Hearing Without a LawyerThe episode begins with a listener question from someone representing themselves in Family Court who is unsure: