Intimacy Coordinator

The Basics of Hate-Scrolling (w/ Yassir Lester, Chelsea Devantez, & Alaska Thunderfuck)

Intimacy Coordinator

Show Notes

Joel Kim Booster brings together three guests he’s almost scared to put in the same room — writer/actor Yassir Lester, writer-director Chelsea Devantez, and Drag Race All Star Season 2 Winner, Alaska Thunderfuck — to dig into how online identity messes with real-life relationships. The icebreaker is pulled straight from Chelsea’s movie Basic: name the person you hate-scroll most. The group swaps stories on jealousy-fueled Instagram deep-dives, building an entire villain out of an ex’s social media, and the specific chaos of getting deep-liked years after a breakup. Alaska shares the surreal experience of getting DMs after announcing her engagement, ranking her fiancé against her ex (“in the bedroom too”). Plus: where to draw the line between staying authentic online and protecting your partner from strangers with opinions.

Subscribe to SmartLess Media on YouTube for full episodes, and follow @intimacycoordinatorshow on Instagram and TikTok for clips.

Joel Kim Booster: @ihatejoelkim · Loot Season 3 (Apple TV+) · Fire Island (Hulu) · Psychosexual (Netflix)

Alaska: @theonlyalaska5000 · Mary Todd Lincoln in Oh Mary! · Drag Race All Stars Season 2 Winner (Paramount+) · Race Chaser Podcast

Chelsea Devantez: @chelseadevantez · Basic Short Film · Author of I Shouldn't Be Telling You This (But I'm Going To Anyway) · Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir

Yassir Lester: @yassir_lester · The Gutter (Hulu) · Black Monday (Netflix) · Substack

Produced by Brian Baldinger and Anne Harris. Associate Producers are Maddie McCann and Katherine Calligori. Editor is Jacob Vaus. Executive Producers are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Robert Cohen, Richard Korson and Bernie Kaminski.

More from Intimacy Coordinator

Oct 19, 2026

What's the most masculine thing about two of drag's most decorated queens? This week, Joel Kim Booster is joined by Monét X Change (Drag Race All Stars 4 winner, The Traitors) and BenDeLaCreme (Drag Race All Stars 3, The Jinkx & DeLa Holiday Show) to talk about all things masculinity—from GAY-ming and bar fights, to fatherly lessons involving studs. Plus the perils of hooking up in drag, mismatched sex drives in marriage, and the little known practicality of tennis balls in pools.

Oct 15, 2026

It’s time for another Background Check! This week, Brooks Wheelan was on Intimacy Coordinator, so we wanted to replay the classic Bad Date story he told to Joel and fellow guests Ali Kolbert and Jared Goldstein. The original description for his story was: “Brooks can overlook the scabies, but can the scabies overlook Brooks?” and that’s still all you need to know. Enjoy revisiting this Bad (question mark?) Date, and don’t miss this week’s Intimacy Coordinator with Brooks and ace stand-up (slash his girlfriend) Katherine Blanford!

Oct 12, 2026

Joel puts comedy couple Brooks Wheelan and Katherine Blanford on the couch for live couples therapy, starting with the eggs Brooks ate, the all-caps text Katherine sent about it, and why laughing at that text was not the move.

Oct 8, 2026

Danielle Perez was on Intimacy Coordinator this week, so it’s time for another Background Check! Join us as we revisit two hilarious and harrowing tales that Danielle told Joel and fellow guests Bonnie McFarlane and James Tom back in the Bad Dates era! First off, this man is simply too close and his lips have not been deemed ADA accessible, and in the second story her date goes full Shark Week. Catch up with Danielle’s tales from the trenches, and don’t miss this week’s Intimacy Coordinator with Danielle, Tien Tran, and Solomon Georgio!

Oct 5, 2026

Joel Kim Booster convenes a panel of (at least) double minorities — Danielle Perez, Solomon Georgio, and Tien Tran — to dig into how intersectional identities shape who we date, who we marry, and who keeps asking us to role-play. The panel trades the backhanded compliments they took as wins, sheepishly admits to dating white people, and unpacks the bedroom requests that went too far, from a breaking-and-entering fantasy to a "spicy Latina" audition. Plus: the fight that ended with Joel totaling his car, and advice for a 60-year-old listener wondering just how age-appropriate she has to be.

See all episodes →