Show Notes
Hey everyone,
Years ago I was browsing through a bookstore when I stumbled on a small purple book called 'I'm Afraid of Men' by Vivek Shraya. I flipped it open and was transfixed.
It showed me a view and a lens and a perspective I had no familiarity with. I ended up buying more of Vivek's books, including A Boy & The Bindi, and when her live memoir stage show How To Fail As A Pop Star visited Toronto my wife Leslie and I bought tickets and joined the giant standing ovation.
Since we recorded this conversation, Vivek's work has expanded across books, music, theatre, TV, film, and fashion. She created and wrote the CBC Gem adaptation of How to Fail as a Popstar, which premiered internationally at Cannes and went on to win Canadian Screen Awards for Best Web Program or Series and Best Writing. She is now a three-time Canadian Screen Award winner, released her eleventh solo album New Models in 2025, an alter ego project VIVICA earlier this year, and her thirteenth book, the dystopian novel 'The Hystericals', arrived last month.
Vivek navigates complex topics—topics most people aren't willing to discuss—with a comfort and clarity that shows deep thinking, partly resulting from the hardships she's endured and navigated throughout her life. In this conversation we talk about how parents can avoid snuffing out their children's gender creativity, how we might think about pronouns, traditional trans narratives, and how loving others can teach us how to love ourselves. I loved talking to her and hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Let's flip the page back to Chapter 53…
More from 3 Books With Neil Pasricha
Happy full moon, everybody! It is the harvest moon and our leaves are falling here in Toronto. Time for change! Unavoidable, right? Sure, but maybe ... we can control how we react to it. My guest today has spent nearly six decades (!) studying learned optimism, authentic happiness, human flourishing, and (his latest pursuit!) agency and his work is cited by thousands and taught in psychology courses worldwide. I am thrilled to come to 3 Books the co-founder of positive psychology Dr. Martin Seligman! In 1998, Marty was elected President of the American Psychological Association by the largest vote in its history. He launched positive psychology—he created it!—with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who gave us 'Flow,' and his work helped shape and influence so much of what we think about our minds and including past 3 Books guests Sonja Lyubomirsky and Shawn Achor. Working at the University of Pennsylvania and founding the Positive Psychology Center, where he's the Zellerbach Family Professor of Psychology, Martin's lab has run everything from the Penn Resilience Program, which has trained teachers and students around the world, to large-scale resilience programs for the U.S. Army, to more recent work on human progress and agency. Which brings us to his new book! 'Agency: The Psychological History of Human Progress' just came out a few weeks ago and it's an ambitious project analyzing millennia of history—from Periclean Athens and the Hebrew Torah through the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, and the Civil Rights Movement—with Martin arguing that the hidden engine of human progress isn't geography or money or war ... but agency itself. Tune in as we discuss what agency is, how humans have progressed over centuries, techniques to overcome overthinking, how to use AI to positively impact our lives, whether AI is a new species, positive psychology tips to building strong marriages, abundant living, sexual desire, the definition of a good leader, and of course ... Martin Seligman's 3 most formative books. Let's flip the page to Chapter 165 now ...
A few years ago I was lucky enough to cross paths with Wagner Moura. He was on the eve of releasing his film 'Sergio' after a long run playing Pablo Escobar in the hit series 'Narcos.' Since then I've watched as his acting career has channeled upwards and onwards into feature roles in 'Civil War', 'Dope Thief', and his star turn in 'The Secret Agent' where he won 'Best Actor' at both the Golden Globes and Cannes and was nominated for 'Best Actor' at the Oscars. Over the years Wag ("Vag") has become a dear friend. He's a massive heart, a fellow "boy dad", and he and his wife San live life with such a deep passion for humanity, always fighting for causes, and endlessly following their dreams. I have been inspired watching him and learning from him and in this chat I think you'll get a taste for the massive beauty that lies inside. In this chat we discuss the hinterlands of Brazil, how we stand up for what we believe in, creating art in times of crisis, and, of course, the incredible Wagner Moura's 3 most formative books. Let's flip back to Chapter 52 now....
Happy full moon, everybody!
Happy Buck Moon, everyone!