
The Shame Vs Guilt Difference That Lets You Correct Your Sensitive Child Without Them Hearing ‘I Am a Bad Kid’
Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive ChildShow Notes
If you’ve ever googled “are time outs effective,” puzzled over time out vs time in, or typed “do time outs work” because something just doesn’t feel right, this one is for you.In this episode, I break down the difference between a punishment timeout and a break your child needs.You’ll learn:
What the one-minute rule for time outs for 3 year olds assumes about your child What time outs for 2 year olds ask of a toddler brain mid-meltdown Why are time outs not developmentally appropriate for a child who already knows the rule What the shame vs guilt definition reveals about the story your child tells on the stairs What the time in vs time out debate keeps leaving out What a bored preschooler and a baby sibling at dinner reveal about breaks What two keys decide whether a break feels like support or punishment How breaks build emotional regulation skills in kids and the grown-ups they watch What happens when you remove your child at the very first sign of hitting Why emotional regulation in preschoolers can sound like “go away,” then “come back”
If you’ve binged every gentle parenting how-to-discipline video and still feel a pit in your stomach… this one’s for you. Here’s to raising resilient kids,Dr. Hilary Find more from Dr. Hilary: Raised Resilient | Website | Instagram | Facebook Group Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | Website
More from Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive Child
Have you ever read every book and saved every script, only to freeze the second your child starts kicking and throwing things?
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Does your child go from angry at breakfast to yelling "I hate you" by dinner? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>In today's episode, I unpack why your child seems angry all the time and what's REALLY going on underneath. We get into where does people pleasing come from, which is an important starting point since so many of us grew up conflict avoidant, sitting on suppressed anger. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What causes people pleasing, and how it shapes the way you react to anger</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How a "good girl" childhood can lead to a conflict avoidant personality as an adult</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why a five-year-old's anger comes out in such messy ways (and yours did, too)</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How your own repressed anger can show up when your child starts yelling</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why anger is a secondary emotion, and what it might be protecting your sensitive kid from</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why mom rage can flare the second your child gets angry at you</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What is emotional safety, and what does it look like on a hard day?</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What softening really means when your child is kicking and calling you names</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to create emotional safety when you're too angry to soften</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why it can feel like gentle parenting doesn't work, even with the right script</span></li></ul><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If your child seems angry ALL the time and you've started to wonder if this is just who they are, this episode is for you. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Have you ever caught yourself Googling "am I raising a narcissist" at 2am after another rough day? Does your child hit their sister, call you names, and show zero remorse? Do they melt down every time you say no, or shut down the second you ask them to own what happened?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>In this episode, I share why sensitive, emotionally intense kids can look narcissistic.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your sensitive kid can show a lack of empathy when someone else is hurting</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child's still-developing emotional regulation can get mistaken for narcissism</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What narcissistic personality disorder actually looks like, according to the DSM-5</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What your child's age has to do with the question of raising a narcissist</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How narcissism really develops, and what's hiding underneath all that grandiosity</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your sensitive kid feels SO much shame, no matter what you do</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What is emotional safety, and how it changes the way your child handles shame</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What does emotional safety look like when your child has just hit their sibling</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to create emotional safety after you've lost your cool with your kid</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What's really behind extreme defensiveness when you ask your child to take accountability</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If you’ve ever worried about what your child’s behavior means for who they will become, this episode will help you understand what may be going on underneath the surface.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raised
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Is gentle parenting not working even after every script you've tried? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Gentle parenting was never meant to be a list of scripts you follow perfectly. Your child is unique, and what helps one child calm down can make another child feel even more overwhelmed.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">So, in today's episode, I share five popular gentle parenting techniques that can make meltdowns worse with your sensitive kid, and WHY each one backfires. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why gentle parenting doesn't work the way the reels make it look with your sensitive kid</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What your child actually hears when you circle back after the meltdown</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child can tell you hitting isn't kind and still do it again</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How the emotional water pitcher explains the meltdown that shows up after school</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How co-regulation strategies for parents shift when your child yells "go away"</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What co regulation parenting looks like when naming feelings makes it worse</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What gentle parenting REALLY asks of you when your kid needs your calm</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to catch yourself as an overstimulated mom before your tone turns sharp</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>If you’re tired of wondering why the strategies you’ve been told to use aren’t helping, this episode will help you understand what may be happening underneath the meltdown and what your child might actually need from you in those moments.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Face
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Does your day feel like one meltdown right after another? Do you dread the sound of your two kids playing in the other room, because you already know how it's going to end?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">In today's episode, I unpack what changed for Angela and Andrew, parents of Hudson, who turned three in January, and Nala, who's almost two. Hudson is their sensitive kid, and before they found me, their house ran on power struggles, meltdown after meltdown, and the sinking feeling Andrew got walking in the door after work. Angela was burnt out and looking for parenting help, and every account she found told her something different.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">They open up about the argument the two of them had over one Instagram tip, the Band-Aid fixes that never held, and what happened once they had one approach they could both run together. Now their kids play together for long stretches, work through their own frustration, and ask each other, "Are you having a big feeling?"</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why parental burnout builds when your days are meltdown after meltdown</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What Andrew names as the reason for gentle parenting not working in their house</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What to look for in parenting help when every account contradicts the last one</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why a highly sensitive first kid can leave you doubting your own instincts</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What Angela and Andrew did differently with big emotions in their first weeks</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why sibling rivalry gets loud when little kids have no tools for frustration</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What sibling conflict looks like once your kids can work through it themselves</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How emotional safety lets you repair with your child after you mess up</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What parent coaching looked like week to week for two burnt-out parents</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If you're the one holding ALL of it together while your sensitive kid falls apart and your partner is running a completely different playbook … this one's for you. Here's the thing: your child can't be the one to change first, and you can't control your way into a calmer house. You can change how you show up, and that's the KEY that makes every strategy work. I know it can feel SO far out of reach from where you're sitting. Angela and Andrew got there, and so can you!</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="backgrou