Sandra “Charm Offensive” Bullock

Flamsas! Hold onto your Marcia Clark wigs because this episode is gonna blow your mind. This week’s Miss Thing is one of the most versatile actresses out there, a beloved gay icon, and the showstopper of such seminal classics like, ‘American Horror Story’, ‘12 Years A Slave’, ‘The People vs. O.J. Simpson’, ‘Carol’, ‘Ratched’, and so much more — SARAH PAULSON!!! In this ep, Greg recalls the moment someone clocked him shape-shifting at a party, while Tim looks back on the time he couldn’t stop accidentally running into people he used to hooked up with. The boys also talk about the inability to recognize someone who’s not wearing their glasses, the classic films ‘Uptown Girls’ and ‘The Others’, the upcoming ‘Girls’ reboot, introducing ‘whimsy’ into their lives, Susan Dell, and the Kelly Clarkson saga with the Brooklyn store Art of Play. Plus, they ask educational questions like, “What is your favorite childhood cereal?” and “Why do gay men cross their legs and straight men don’t?” So Kelloggs, stop misbehaving and start listening to an episode that will make you sit as confidently as Robyn and make you feel as expensive as Molly, the animatronic bird. Oh, and never forget that Jessica Chastain is also Regular Mommy too. BONK!!!

Mister Hammond, I think we're back in business because actor, director, and comedic genius GUS HEAGERTY is on the pod to celebrate every gay man’s favorite actress. This week’s Miss Thing is an Oscar Winner, a passionate film preserver, and the mega talented star of film and TV classics like ‘Big Little Lies’, ‘Blue Velvet’, ‘Little Women’, ‘Inland Empire’, ’Star Wars’, and ‘Marriage Story’ — LAURA F**KING DERN!!! In this ep, Greg brings it back to the time he lied to his classmates about almost getting Laura Dern’s part in ‘Jurassic Park’, Tim remembers the time he had a severe allergic reaction to suntan lotion in Hawaii, and Gus recalls the moment he accidentally used sanitizer instead of lube during a hookup. The boys also talk Gus’ stand up show “Is This The New Me?” (on tour now!!), Merritt Wever in ‘Primetime’, the extreme proposal of bottoming, and they open up about how vulnerable it is to say a book character’s name out loud for the first time. Plus, they ask ‘Wild’ questions like, ‘What Laura Dern role do people need to care about more?’ and ‘Do I want to f**k Jeff Goldblum or be him?’. They also play the new political staple ‘Candidate for Midterms or Character of Laura Dern’s’. So Guys and Gans, turn off your Fats Waller radio and press play on an episode that will leave you much more Enlightened. Oh, and can someone take a picture of us in our speedo? We need to let people know we finished ‘Fruit Fly’! BONK!!!!

Genni-F*CKING-fertias, it’s time to Party (in the bush, etc) because the brilliant comedian and TV writer DYLAN ADLER is on the pod today to celebrate a pop prince! This week’s Miss Thing is a capital ‘A’ Artiste with taste, Australia’s most talented top, and the maestro behind the albums ‘Bloom’, ‘Something To Give Each Other’, and ‘She’s The Best’ — TROYE SIVAN!!! In this ep, Greg remembers the time he went to the beach to relax and instead sat next to a group of gays on G, Tim looks back on the time he tried to get a Leland song on his web series, and Dylan recalls the moment he asked Troye via DM to be in his music video. The boys also talk Tove Lo’s Swedish hips making gays “straighter”, gaining five years of your life after the Robyn concert, Destiny’s Child’s Michelle Williams journey to becoming a therapist, and the new Netflix animated show ‘Dang!’. Plus, they play the Silly new game “Troye Sivan or Troy Bolton” and ask cute questions like, “What artist evokes the feeling of Fire Island Pines?”, “Why do gay doctors always party the hardest?” and “What is Nicole Kidman’s music video day rate?” So grab your bottle of Rush and get ready to go on a ride even more twisty than the saga of the mask mandate at the Covid conscious queer bar “The Last Ditch”. Oh, and remember, every song you Shazam will always be Kylie Minogue. BONK!!!

Gay Matts and Inertias, there isn’t one thing to hate about our Miss Thing this week — not even a little bit, not even at all. This iconic movie star is the millennial Shakespeare influencer of the 2000s, the most joyous triple threat out there, and the charismatic lead actress of ’10 Things I Hate About You’, ‘Save The Last Dance’, ‘O’, and now ‘Dancing with the Stars’ — JULIA STILES!!! In this ep, Greg looks back on the time his friend made a world-class mistake first thing in the morning at a famous Miami club, while Tim remembers the moment he ran into the biggest celebrity he’s ever met — Stephanie from MTV’s ‘Made’. The boys also talk Stella Lefty, the full-time job of supporting someone who runs a marathon, Lily Allen’s ‘West End Girl’ concert, and Channing Tatum’s alleged Instagram burner account. Plus they play the new classic game: “Harry Styles or Julia Stiles?” and ask booty-shaking questions like, “What happens to your body when you get calf implants?”, “Is Chateau Diana still around?”, and “Where were you when you learned that Tove Lo’s name was pronounced ‘Too-veh-loo’?” So Gennifertias, put on your black joggers over your black long-sleeved leotard and chair dance it out to an ep that will make you feel like you got into Julliard. Oh, and BTW, sometimes sh*t happens… at the Hyrox Games. BONK!!!!

Run Away With Us Gennifertias because this week we’re joined on the couch by the godfather of Instagram comedy, a former figure skater, and the scene-stealer of ‘Hacks’, ‘Overcompensating’ and ‘People We Meet On Vacation’ — TOMMY DO!!! Our Miss Thing is an artiste that’ll always Cut To The Feeling, is every gay person’s favorite singer, the lyricist for broadway’s upcoming ‘10 Things I Hate About You’, and the prolific genius behind multiple musical opuses like ‘Emotion’, ‘Dedicated’ and the brand new album ’Day and Night’ — CARLY RAE JEPSEN!!! In this ep, Tim remembers the time his improv group sleepover quickly turned into a Party For One, Greg looks back on the night his husband saved CRJ’s life at a roller rink, and Tommy remembers the moment he honestly answered a question from his boss and now they no longer speak. The boys also talk Tommy’s throuple lore with Nick and Pierre AKA ‘The Three’, the lesbian extra in ‘Practical Magic 2’, ‘Remarkably Bright Creatures’, Carrie’s dream of going to Paris for the first time in ‘Sex & The City’, Disney on Ice, and season two of ‘Beef’. Plus, they ask Good Time questions like, ‘What’s your biggest cultural blind spot?’, ‘What’s the ratio of gay men having romances in ice skating?’ and ‘How do you not combust while acting against Carey Mulligan?’ So Let’s Get Lost listening to an episode that’s The Loveliest Time and that’ll also make you want to stop using AI. Oh and remember every day is an opt out day. BONK!!!