Show Notes
It can be tempting to step in and “just do it” when your child struggles, whether it’s opening a tricky package, making a sandwich that keeps falling apart, or facing the frustration of trying something new.
But every time we take over, we unintentionally miss a chance to build their confidence and problem-solving skills.
Today, I’ll share practical ways to reinforce independence while staying calm and connected. You’ll learn how to support your child through the frustration without rescuing, and how to balance encouragement with connection so they gain skills and emotional resilience.
Helping kids become more independent doesn’t just teach them to do things on their own, it teaches them that they can try, fail, and succeed while knowing you’re there to support them.
Jennifer's Takeaways:
Encouraging Independence in Children (00:00) Understanding Personal Responses (02:38) Supportive Techniques for Independence (04:35) Encouraging Phrases and Micro Boundaries (06:45) Personalized Approaches and Long-term Practice (10:15)
Meet Jennifer Kolari
Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.
Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.
Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.
Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.
One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).
More from Connected Parenting
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What if the challenging behavior you're seeing isn't really the problem, but a sign of what's happening underneath?
When a child has a major meltdown in public, it can feel like suddenly everyone around you has an opinion about your parenting.
As parents, we often act as a substitute frontal lobe for our children while their own executive functioning skills are still developing. We help them regulate emotions, remember what they need, organize themselves, solve problems, and make decisions. But sometimes, without realizing it, we can cross the line from guiding our children to doing too much of the thinking and problem-solving for them.
When one child in the family requires a lot of attention because of big emotions, tantrums, challenging behaviour, or constant pushback, it can quietly affect everyone else in the home. In this episode of "Connected Parenting", Jennifer turns the focus to the child who is often described as the “good child”. The one who rarely complains, follows the rules, stays out of trouble, and seems to make parenting easy.