The Conversation Your Parents Never Had With Themselves (And Yours Is Overdue) | Dr Shefali

Today Dr Shefali, a NYT bestselling author and the world's leading conscious parenting psychologist, joins Erika to unpack the childhood patterns running your adult life, and how to stop them here. This isn't another conversation about how to be a better parent. It's about understanding the difference between who you became by default and who you actually want to be.

If you've ever caught yourself thinking:

"Why does this keep happening to me no matter what I do?" "I know my past affected me but I don't know how much" "I keep reacting in ways I don't understand and I don't know why" "I've been waiting for someone to say sorry so I can finally move on" "I don't want to repeat what was done to me but I don't know how to stop"

Then this episode is for you. In this conversation, Erika and Dr Shefali cover:

- Why we absorb our parents' patterns without ever choosing to, and how to recognise them in yourself - At what point your childhood stops being an explanation and starts being a choice The illusion of closure and why you don't need anyone else to give it to you - How to give yourself what your parents never did - What conscious parenting actually means and why it starts with you, not your child - The live coaching moment where Dr Shefali unpacks Erika's own trigger in real time - Why the critical voice in your head has your parent's voice, and what to do about it - How to talk to a parent who isn't conscious without losing yourself - Why boys and girls need to be raised differently in a world of algorithms and social media - Where the line is between sharing your child online and using them for content

The patterns stop here. And this conversation is where it starts. Some things stay with you long after a conversation ends. This is one of them.

CONNECT

📸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠

TIME STAMPS

(00:00) Introduction (04:26) Finding yourself after becoming a mother (08:50) Dr Shefali on when she became a mother (11:57) When does our childhood stop becoming insight and start becoming an excuse? (14:45) How to get closure from your parents (if you can't speak to them) (16:37) What is Conscious Parenting? (20:07) Can you speak to your parents about being more conscious? (24:14) Dr Shefali gives Erika parenting advice on a trigger (34:04) What do we say and do when we are triggered? (37:49) Don't recruit your child in your own movie (39:06) Why do we need to raise sons and daughters differently? (42:56) The line between sharing your child online and using your child for content

WHO AM I?

I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.

📸 My personal IG

LET’S BE FRIENDS

🌍 Sign Up to Our Newsletter

📝 Free EPISODE CURATOR QUIZ

⭐ Substack

📸 Instagram

📱Tiktok

RESOURCES

▶︎ 25 Day Self Development Marathon

▶︎ 21 Day Self Growth Challenge

▶︎ Goal Setting System E-Book

🧡 This description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. Thank you for your support! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices