Addicted to Recovery

Nick: Bipolar, Addiction, and the Search for Normal

Addicted to Recovery

Show Notes

In this powerful and deeply honest episode of Addicted to Recovery, hosts Christopher White and Max Thomas are joined by their close friend Nick, who shares his raw, unfiltered journey through addiction, mental health struggles, and recovery. Nick opens up about living with relentless anxiety, low self-worth, and an overwhelming internal dialogue that shaped his life from childhood. Despite appearing confident on the outside, he describes years of people-pleasing, overthinking, and emotional exhaustion that ultimately fuelled his substance use. What began with alcohol as a way to “feel normal” gradually escalated into a destructive cycle involving drugs, work obsession, and deteriorating mental health. The conversation traces Nick’s life from a chaotic childhood and early escape into the high-pressure world of professional kitchens, through the culture of long hours, perfectionism, and substance use that often accompanies the hospitality industry. Although outwardly successful, Nick explains how his addiction and untreated mental health issues led to breakdowns, damaged relationships, and profound shame. A major turning point comes when Nick speaks candidly about being sectioned, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and finally confronting the reality that substances were never the solution—but a way of coping with pain he didn’t yet understand. With honesty and humility, he reflects on the impact his illness had on his family, particularly his ex-wife and children, and the process of taking responsibility without drowning in self-blame. The episode also explores themes of recovery, accountability, compassion, and growth. Nick shares how finding recovery later in life helped him gain clarity, self-awareness, and a sense of peace he never thought possible. Through humour, vulnerability, and shared understanding, the hosts and Nick highlight an essential truth: recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about learning to live, feel, and show up honestly. This episode is a moving reminder that behind addiction is often unaddressed pain, and that healing is possible at any stage of life.

More from Addicted to Recovery

Sep 30, 2026

We’re back. After nearly four months away, we’re finally back behind the microphones — and there’s a lot to catch up on. In this episode, we talk honestly about what’s been happening in both of our lives over the summer and why taking a break from the podcast was something we both needed. A big part of the conversation is Chris opening up about his relapse after almost five years clean. We talk through what led up to it, the warning signs that are much easier to see looking back, how his recovery programme had slowly slipped, and the dangerous thinking that followed when using again didn’t immediately send his life into chaos. We also talk about Max’s experience over the last few months. Life on the outside is good — family, work and plenty to be grateful for — but internally, that familiar feeling of discomfort had started creeping back in. We discuss our shared tendency to look for external things to change how we feel internally, and what happens when we stop doing the things that keep us grounded. It leads us into a really honest conversation about ego, complacency, perfection, family, sponsorship, meetings, Step 10, connection and the importance of continuing to work a programme even when life is going well. We also share what’s been happening in our lives away from recovery — weddings, family, work, new opportunities and everything else that’s happened during our time away. Finally, we explain what the future looks like for Addicted to Recovery. We’re changing things up, taking the pressure off and returning once a month, allowing us to focus on the conversations and guests that made us fall in love with doing the podcast in the first place. It feels good to be back. Max & Chris Addicted to Recovery

May 10, 2026

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, Max and Chris sit down with Gab — a former talent manager whose gambling addiction spiralled into a devastating double life involving secret debts, celebrity clients, court cases, and eventually prison. Gab opens up about the hidden reality of compulsive gambling, from the early warning signs as a child to chasing losses through the night, gambling away hundreds of thousands of pounds, and living in complete mental torment while trying to maintain the appearance of success. He shares how addiction became his escape, his comfort, and ultimately the thing that nearly destroyed everything. The conversation dives deep into: The similarities between gambling addiction and substance addiction Living with secrecy, shame, and obsession The emotional toll of chasing losses How recovery began through honesty and therapy The reality of prison after addiction-fuelled fraud charges Why addiction is so often misunderstood by society Alongside Gab’s story, the hosts also announce an important new chapter for the podcast as Addicted to Recovery moves into a seasonal format to prioritise balance, recovery, and sustainability moving forward. A raw, honest, and deeply insightful episode about addiction, consequences, recovery, and hop

May 3, 2026

In this honest and deeply relatable episode of Addicted to Recovery, the boys sit down with returning guest Chris to explore what recovery really looks like beyond the meetings. Two years on, Chris opens up about life with a growing family, the daily challenge of applying recovery principles at home, and the constant tug-of-war between selflessness and self-centered thinking. From isolation and intrusive thoughts to relationships, parenting, and the struggle for presence, this conversation gets real about the messy middle of recovery. Together, they unpack: Why family often gets a “different version” of us than the outside world The role of fear, control, and emotional sensitivity in addiction Intrusive thoughts, escapism, and the addict’s tendency to catastrophize The importance of service, presence, and small daily actions How recovery evolves over time through experience, not perfection With humour, vulnerability, and brutal honesty, this episode shines a light on the internal battles that don’t disappear when the substances do—and the tools that help navigate them. If you’ve ever struggled with being present, battled your own thoughts, or wondered why you react the way you do, this one will hit home. 🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.

Apr 26, 2026

In this powerful episode of Addicted To Recovery, the hosts sit down with Greg, a close friend and recovering addict, to explore his journey through addiction, trauma, and long-term recovery. Greg shares how a devastating accident—shattering his heel after a fall—became a turning point in his life. With over a dozen surgeries, chronic pain, and uncertainty about his future, he was forced to slow down and fully commit to recovery. What could have been a breaking point instead became a foundation for growth, resilience, and spiritual connection. The conversation dives deep into: Navigating recovery through physical pain and injury The mental battle of uncertainty and fear Managing prescribed medication in recovery Building integrity, trust, and self-awareness The realities of long-term sobriety (not perfection, but progress) Finding purpose, peace, and connection in everyday life Greg also reflects on major life milestones in recovery, including marriage, fatherhood, and rebuilding relationships—proving that transformation is possible with commitment and support. This episode is an honest, raw, and inspiring look at what it truly means to stay clean, face life head-on, and grow into a better version of yourself.

Apr 19, 2026

In this powerful episode of Addicted to Recovery, the hosts sit down with John, who returns two years after his first appearance to share what’s changed—and it’s nothing short of remarkable. Now nearly four years clean, John opens up about rebuilding his life from the ground up: becoming a full-time father, working in drug and alcohol services, and even being invited to Buckingham Palace for his contributions to the recovery community. The conversation dives deep into: Life in recovery and the reality of “life on life’s terms” Overcoming grief after losing his son and finally finding acceptance The challenges of parenting, relationships, and responsibility in sobriety Letting go of old behaviours like ego, anger, and pride The power of the 12-step program, service, and spirituality John’s story is raw, honest, and ultimately hopeful—a testament to what’s possible when someone fully surrenders and commits to change. “From crack house to Buckingham Palace in four years.” If you’re struggling, in recovery, or supporting someone who is—this episode is a must-listen.

See all episodes →