Episode 11 - Barb and Lela - Physical Pain as a result of trauma

What if some of the beliefs running your adult life began as decisions you made when you were far too young to understand what was happening? “Maybe I should stay quiet.” “Maybe I shouldn't ask questions.” “Maybe what I want doesn't matter.” In Episode 32 of Way OUT of Childhood Trauma, Barb talks with Kathi Sohn, founder of Cycle Breaker Pathways, about what Kathi calls childhood vows — unconscious survival decisions that can continue shaping our identity, relationships, emotional triggers and behaviour decades later. Kathi shares her own extraordinary story, including discovering in adulthood that she had been adopted, and explains how her late husband's work eventually led her to continue teaching the childhood-vows process they had developed together. Barb and Kathi also explore parenting and generational change: why parents don't need to get everything right, the importance of repair and apology, and how small moments of awareness can prevent our own unresolved patterns from simply being handed to the next generation. Because recognising where a pattern came from isn't about blame. It's about responsibility — and possibility. As Kathi puts it: when we're young, we're wired to survive. As adults, we can begin to rewire to thrive. Connect with Kathi SohnKathi Sohn is the founder of Cycle Breaker Pathways, an author and speaker whose work focuses on childhood survival beliefs, parenting and generational healing. Facebook — Cycle Breaker Pathways LinkedIn — Kathi Sohn Instagram — Kathi Sohn Continue the JourneyExplore The Ascendance Method™ Discover a different way of understanding trauma, survival adaptations, recovery and human potential. Your Steps of Ascendance 🧡 Help Keep the Conversation Going Support the ripple. Help Keep the Conversation Going

The armour we build to survive can be incredibly effective. But what happens when the danger has passed — and we're still living inside it? In Episode 31 of Way OUT of Childhood Trauma, Barb talks with Dawn Lucht, founder of the Heart-Full Academy, whose work grew not only from 15+ years in coaching, leadership and human development, but from her own experiences of breakdown, grief, trauma, domestic violence and rebuilding her life. Together they explore the survival strategies we develop to protect ourselves — and why the very patterns that once kept us safe can eventually restrict our relationships, emotional lives and future. Dawn describes this as “de-armouring”: recognising the conditioning and protective layers we've accumulated and reconnecting with what she calls the Wild One — the instinctive Self underneath them. Barb and Dawn explore emotional clarity, self-trust, relationships, identity after abuse, nervous-system responses and the challenge of building a future when survival has been leading for a very long time. Because survival adaptations aren't evidence that something went wrong with us. They did a job. The question becomes: do we still need them to do that job now? Connect with DawnDawn Lucht is the founder of the Heart-Full Academy and creator of the Heart-Full Way. Facebook — The Heart-Full Academy Instagram — The Heart-Full Academy Continue the JourneyExplore The Ascendance Method™ — a different way of understanding trauma, survival adaptations, recovery and human potential. Your Steps of Ascendance 🧡 Help Keep the Conversation Going Support the ripple. Help Keep the Conversation Going

What does forgiveness really mean after trauma? Does healing require us to forgive the people who hurt us? Does forgiveness mean letting go of anger? Does it mean understanding why somebody behaved as they did? And what happens when the very idea of forgiveness feels impossible — or even unfair? In Episode 30 of Way OUT of Childhood Trauma, Barb talks with Chaya Lerner, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Rabbinic Chaplain, about forgiveness, faith, grief, inherited trauma and finding meaning after painful experiences. Chaya brings almost four decades of experience in social work, with a background in trauma and grief. She is also the child and grandchild of Holocaust survivors and served as a first responder following the Surfside condominium collapse in Florida. Barb and Chaya don't approach the language of forgiveness in exactly the same way — and that creates an important conversation. They explore the difference between forgiveness and condoning what happened, why understanding someone's behaviour doesn't remove responsibility for it, and whether releasing the hold of the past necessarily requires an active decision to forgive. The conversation moves through grief, mindfulness, triggers, inner-child work, spirituality, community and the patterns that can travel through families and generations. Chaya also shares a powerful moment from her own family history. Standing before a memorial wall in Prague bearing the names of thousands of Holocaust victims, she found herself thinking: “I am a miracle.” It is a reminder not only of what previous generations endured, but of what continued beyond it. Because perhaps forgiveness isn't about changing the past. Perhaps the more important question is what relationship we want to have with the past now — and how much power we want it to continue having over the life we're living today. 🎙️ What Does Forgiveness Really Mean After Trauma? Faith, Grief & Healing with Chaya Lerner Connect with Chaya Lerner Chaya Lerner is a Rabbinic Chaplain and Licensed Clinical Social Worker with almost 40 years of experience and a professional background in trauma and grief work. Facebook — Chaya LernerInstagram — Chaya Lerner Continue the Journey Explore The Ascendance Method™ Discover a different way of understanding trauma, survival adaptations, recovery and human potential. Your Steps of Ascendance 🧡 Help Keep the Conversation Going Support the ripple. Help Keep the Conversation Going

What if the anxiety, overwhelm or patterns you're trying to get rid of aren't evidence that something is wrong with you? What if they're signals? In Episode 29 of Way OUT of Childhood Trauma, Barb talks with Nat van Zee, award-winning coach and hypnotherapist, about how childhood experiences and inherited patterns can continue to influence the way we respond to ourselves, our relationships and the world around us. Nat works with high achievers and empaths and describes symptoms as signals rather than failures — clues that can help us understand the survival architecture operating underneath our conscious behaviour. Together, Barb and Nat explore people-pleasing, perfectionism, anxiety, boundaries and the experience of knowing intellectually that something needs to change while finding that the body seems to have other ideas. They discuss the importance of internal safety, why simply telling ourselves to “think differently” may not be enough, and how inner-child, parts and body-based work can help us become curious about responses we may previously have judged. They also explore what can happen when old patterns begin loosening: speaking up, saying what we actually think, setting boundaries, honouring ourselves and allowing confidence to emerge rather than continually trying to manufacture it. This connects closely with a principle behind The Ascendance Method™: People are not broken. They adapted. And when we begin understanding what a response was designed to do for us, we have somewhere very different to begin creating change. What if your symptoms aren't proof that you're failing? What if they're information about something within you that still believes it's protecting you? Connect with Nat van Zee Nat van Zee is an award-winning coach and hypnotherapist who works with high achievers and empaths. Her work combines somatic coaching, Internal Family Systems, hypnosis and nervous-system regulation, with a particular focus on anxiety, burnout and trauma. She is based in London and has been featured in Psychologies and The Telegraph. Vanzee Being Nat also offers a free somatic workshop, Shift Overwhelm into Calm: Shift Overwhelm into Calm Instagram — Nat van Zee LinkedIn — Nat van Zee Facebook — Vanzee Being Continue the Journey Explore The Ascendance Method™ and discover a different way of understanding trauma, survival adaptations, recovery and human potential. Your Steps of Ascendance 🧡 Help Keep the Conversation Going Support the ripple. Support Way OUT of Childhood Trauma

What if you recognise yourself in the effects of childhood trauma — but keep telling yourself you couldn't possibly have trauma because your parents were nice? You weren't hit. There wasn't violence or addiction in your home. Your parents cared about you and may genuinely have been doing the best they knew how. And yet something still didn't feel right. In Episode 28 of Way OUT of Childhood Trauma, Barb talks with Dr Ricia Fleming, licensed mental health counsellor, clinical social worker, author and trauma survivor, about the childhood experiences that can leave profound effects without leaving physical bruises. Ricia describes these experiences as naCCT: non-physically-assaultive, attachment-based Chronic Covert Trauma. Drawing on decades of professional experience and her own journey with cPTSD, Ricia explains why emotional neglect, unattunement, lack of comforting and other subtle experiences can be so difficult to recognise as significant — particularly when they happened within otherwise caring families. Barb and Ricia explore what happens when a child's emotions become something to calm down, put aside or deal with alone; why emotional needs matter alongside physical needs; the connection between emotional experiences and the body; and why validation can become such an important part of recovery. They also discuss something fundamental: Trauma and abuse are not the same thing. A parent does not necessarily have to be abusive or intentionally harmful for a child to experience something their developing system cannot adequately process. And recognising that isn't about blaming parents or comparing whose childhood was worse. It's about understanding your own experience. Because if something affected you, you don't have to prove that somebody else intended to hurt you before you're allowed to acknowledge it. What if the question isn't “Was what happened bad enough?” What if the more useful question is: “How did what happened affect me?” Connect with Dr Ricia Fleming Dr Ricia Fleming has spent more than four decades working across psychotherapy, education and body-based approaches to wellbeing. She is the author of No Sticks or Stones No Broken Bones: Healing cPTSD When the Trauma Wasn't Physical: It Was naCCT. She describes herself as both a trauma survivor and therapist and developed the concept of naCCT to give language to subtle, attachment-based experiences that can otherwise be difficult to recognise and validate. Chronic Covert Trauma — Dr Ricia Fleming No Sticks or Stones No Broken Bones X — Dr Ricia Fleming Continue the Journey Explore The Ascendance Method™ and discover a different way of understanding trauma, survival adaptations, recovery and human potential. Your Steps of Ascendance 🧡 Help Keep the Conversation Going Support the ripple. Support Way OUT of Childhood Trauma