Show Notes
S1 E 35 Unraveling Micelle S - Michelle’s story is layered, funny, honest, and full of hard-earned wisdom. She shows us that adoption is not a single event, but something that shapes a person across a lifetime—in identity, relationships, parenting, advocacy, and healing. Michelle grew up knowing she was adopted, and by many measures, she had what people often call a “good adoption.” She was loved, cared for, and raised by parents who told her the truth from the beginning. But as Michelle’s story reminds us, even a good adoption does not erase the trauma of separation, the ache of missing genetic mirrors, or the lifelong work of figuring out where you belong.
A Baby Scoop Era adoptee, Michelle was five days old when she was brought home by her raising parents. Adoption was known in her family, but not always easy to talk about. Beneath the surface, Michelle carried a deep fear of hurting or disappointing the parents who raised her, especially her mother, whose own unresolved grief shaped much of Michelle’s experience.
SHOW NOTES In this conversation, Kara and Michelle discuss: Growing up adopted while sensing there were still emotional limits around the topic What it means to have a “good adoption” and still be deeply affected by adoption Feeling othered in childhood, even in small everyday moments The pressure to protect a raising parent’s feelings Meeting her husband, who was also adopted, and building a family together The experience of genetic mirroring when their first child was born Holding relationships with genetic family while managing fear, obligation, and guilt Advocating for adoptee rights and helping change law around original birth certificates Child welfare reform, Safe Haven baby boxes, and the need for child-centered policy
This episode is about reunion, boundaries, genetic identity, and the courage it takes to stop carrying emotions that were never yours to manage. It is also a reminder that love and loss can exist in the same story, and that truth becomes easier to hold when we finally make room for all of it.
Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.
At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.
For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More from Unraveling Me
S1 E51 - Unraveling Chris & Mary Chris grew up knowing he was adopted—and knowing his genetic family. His parents shared celebrations, built relationships with one another, and made room for everyone in his life. He calls it “integrated adoption.” But even with that openness and connection, Chris struggled with feeling slightly different everywhere he went. Recognizing the grief connected to his adoption brought a question he hadn’t known how to ask: “Is it okay that I feel this way?” His raising mother, Mary, answered without hesitation: “Of course it’s okay.”
S1 E50 - Unraveling Corey & Kendall Kendall always knew he was adopted. His parents welcomed his questions, and when his adoptive mother died, his father showed him the name he’d been given at birth. Kendall was ten. He searched through phone books, library records, and adoption registries, and petitioned the court three times for his sealed records. Years of dead ends left him believing he might never find his genetic family.
S1 E49 - Unraveling Stephanie Stephanie’s story is about what happens when a lifelong search for roots finally begins. It is also a reminder that success does not always mean finding every answer. Sometimes it means discovering where you come from, building relationships along the way, and finding the courage to keep searching. Stephanie was adopted at three years old from a Mother Teresa orphanage in India and raised in a white Catholic family on Long Island. She always knew she was adopted, but for most of her life, she gave little thought to the identity, culture, and history she had lost.
S1 E48 Unraveling Tom J Tom Junod has spent much of his career investigating other people’s lives. His profile of Fred Rogers inspired the film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and his essay The Falling Man became one of the most recognized pieces of writing about 9/11. But in his memoir, In the Days of My Youth I Was Told What It Means to Be a Man, Tom turns that investigative lens on his own family.
S1E47 Unraveling MP MP grew up feeling like the odd person out. He looked different from his brothers, struggled to connect with the man he believed was his father, and was repeatedly reminded that his interests, personality, and appearance did not fit the rest of his family. At 13, he unexpectedly learned that his parents had married after he was born. That first crack in the family story left him wondering what else he had not been told.