211. Will Burnham's Education Plans Work? [Listener Q+A]

It’s nearly the end of Term 1, which means the first parents’ evening of the year, usually when you’re shattered and losing your voice. Dylan and Hayden talk about why it’s still worth doing, what parents actually want to hear (whether their child is happy, not fronted adverbials), and whether teachers should be stricter about keeping to time. Then a quick-fire round: online or in person, one long night or two, 5, 10 or 15 minute slots, chasing no-shows, and whether the child should sit in. In the second half we read out your most unhinged parents’ evening stories. There’s the parent who called a Welsh teacher a nationalist for saying Wales has a capital city, an MFL teacher insulted as a “Europhile”, a parent who doesn’t believe in detention, a five-minute rant aimed at the wrong teacher, and Marjorie, who says hello even though she’s no longer with us. Along the way there’s a row about whether mediums are a con, and Hayden still can’t get over the Nectar card incident. Join the Teach Sleep Repeat WhatsApp community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s More from us: www.teachsleeprepeatpodcast.com Instagram: @teachsleeprepeatpodcast Enquiries and sponsorship: [email protected] If the show is useful to you, a rating and a follow genuinely helps more people find it.

Hayden plans the episode this week, which means you get a game. He opens with a bedtime story about his nearly-three-year-old that ends with the question no parent wants to hear: “Dad, where am I going to put my bogey?” Then Blind Rank is back by listener request. Dylan has to rank playground duty, parents’ evening, teaching art, the staffroom and one more mystery job without knowing what’s coming next. He gets badly stitched up at number one. Next, Dylan drove past two primary schools on the way to the new office and counted more than a dozen parents vaping on the school run. Is that just normal now? The boys get into what kids pick up from it, vaping in secondary toilets, the generational smoking ban and whether it’s a nanny state, and vapes made to look like highlighters. In the Q&A, a listener asks what you’d buy if you had to stock a brand new school with maths resources from scratch. Dienes, Cuisenaire rods, multilink cubes, real clock faces, plenty of 3D shapes, and the place value sliders you should never pay for. That turns into a proper conversation about using CPA flexibly and the links in maths that actually make a difference. Join the Teach Sleep Repeat WhatsApp community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s Instagram: @teachsleeprepeatpodcast Enquiries and sponsorship: [email protected] If the show is useful to you, a rating and a follow genuinely helps more people find it.

Hayden is back after one whole week of paternity leave, with a 10-day-old son called Albie (who Dylan has already renamed Albatross). We talk about how much calmer you are second time round, which parenting "rules" turn out not to matter and which ones really do, then get properly stuck into why children are so gross: snot bubbles in Reception, the Year 6 residential room nobody wants to open on day three, and a crisp eaten straight out of the bin.

Once a year we ask you for your school's biggest red flags, and once a year you absolutely bury us. Nearly a thousand comments on Facebook alone, so we've pulled out the worst of them and gone through them one by one. A memo banning anyone below SLT from drinking ground coffee, after a colleague was caught with a filter mug. A member of leadership asking a teacher if she knew what "professional" meant. A skirts-only school that told an NQT to leave the interview there and then if she'd rather wear trousers. An open plan school with no staff room and hot desking, which sets Dylan off on private schools, class sizes and what the people with actual money choose to do. Staples that had to match the backing paper, coloured in with permanent pen. A fire alarm set off to stop a lunchtime union meeting. Five compulsory parent phone calls a week, logged in three places, because nobody wants to pay for an attendance officer. A suit jacket rule enforced on a woman eight months pregnant. Being told to call the children "clients". And a school where teachers weren't allowed a sip of water in front of a class. Somewhere in the middle of it Hayden runs a riled-up meter on Dylan and gets him from a two to a nine, and there's some baby news too. Fair warning, the language gets away from us on this one. Free Maths Zoo arithmetic worksheet generator: tools.mathszoo.appJoin the Whatsapp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app England has just landed in the world's top ten for reading, maths and science. Good news, surely? Dylan and Hayden are not so sure, because the same PISA results show reading ability falling off a cliff worldwide, and the countries where children use AI the most are falling behind the fastest. Here's the article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgy6n0l4rdo First, though, it is episode one from the new office, complete with a slight echo and a metal works next door. Dylan is fresh off a sleeper train to Edinburgh (think bunk beds, a shower that doubles as the toilet, and a mate who is six foot three), and he has some explaining to do about that Scottish teacher pay post that got a few people worked up. Then two listener questions. With AI able to manipulate images, should schools stop publishing pupil photos altogether? And which subject did each of them love teaching far more than they expected? Hayden's answer says a lot about what league tables miss. Dylan's ends up in a confession about marking writing without actually reading it. Honest, a bit echoey, and back in business. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show! 🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org 💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s