Show Notes
We kick off the episode celebrating National Eat Outside Day and mixing up some creatine electrolytes in a Hydro Jug to fight off brain fog before diving into some major rants. Mike vents about annoying "see what's new" software pop ups on Riverside. Mike explains a bizarre shipping error where he mysteriously received three identical, limited edition watches for his birthday despite his wife Sam only paying for one. Shifting to sports, we celebrate the US Wheelchair Rugby team—featuring previous podcast guests Chuck and Sarah—winning the World Championship for the first time in 16 years after defeating Australia 57-51. We also discuss Nike's Lower East Side 100-meter street race where the fastest sprinter gets their NYC rent paid for a month (up to $4,000), and debate a viral story about four 18-year-old New Jersey hikers who were billed what we consider a very reasonable $1,000 for a nine-hour rescue in New Hampshire. We also reluctantly acknowledge the fast-approaching NFL and fantasy football season, which unfortunately signals the start of Erin's cold weather seasonal depression. In "Erin's Tea Time," we break down a disastrous week for corporate marketing. We cover Callaway Golf's controversial ad featuring a man shoulder-checking a woman for a club (which they blamed on a YouTube production company), Tarte Cosmetics sending influencers highly offensive PR packages with their faces marked up for plastic surgery, and LoveSac's embarrassing decision to mock comedian Deric Cahill with tiny gardening gloves after he made a viral video about their exhausting 25-box couch assembly. In the tech world, we review the unhinged Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing and a "robot" house cleaner that we think is actually being controlled by underpaid overseas laborers who are essentially scanning your home's layout. We also laugh at our favorite corporate one-liners to use at the office. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we highlight the wholesome viral moment of 34-year-old "Heather Skater" inviting all of Denver to a local park to cheer her on as she happily fell her way through her very first roller skating attempt.
More from NonMembers Only
Welcome back to NonMembers Only! We kick off on National "Evaluate Your Life" Day as Erin unpacks a genuinely brutal birthday weekend. After attending a devastating funeral on Friday that left her filming brand ads with severely swollen eyes, she spent her actual birthday standing in torrential rain to run a hydration station for the LBI 18 Miler, getting so soaked her sweatpants were falling down. She also shares the hilariously unhinged greeting card her seven-year-old made for her mom after a minor tractor-trailer accident, and recounts the extreme anxiety of her first post-college job at a nanotechnology startup—which ended with her quitting on the spot after the owner screamed at them for opening a door to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning. In sports, we check in on the Pepto Pugskins fantasy football team, as Mike and Erin learn the hidden tabs for undrafted players. We also discuss the Olympic torch traveling to Hawaii in an archaic miner's safety lamp for the LA 2028 games, and formally announce that our highly anticipated trip to the Microsoft Excel Championships has been canceled due to budget cuts—though it's a blessing in disguise. We also marvel at a jump rope champion's wildly fast 30-second speed run and the terrifying flash floods that resulted in zero finishers at the grueling Moab 240 endurance race. In "Erin's Tea Time," we expose the Chinese running influencer who bragged about her Berlin Marathon PR before getting stripped of her time and dropped by her sponsors when photos proved she hitched a ride on an e-bike. We also evaluate a new fitness study proving that simple rest and sleep are just as effective as expensive "dude-bro" recovery hacks like cold plunges. We discuss a grandfather's live WWI artillery shell doorstop, celebrate 61-year-old Donna Jean Wilde's five-hour world record plank, and finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," smile at a wholesome video of 2026 Nobel Prize winner Carl Deisseroth sharing his massive optogenetics award with his ecstatic kids.
Merch - https://nonmembersshop.com/ We kick off the episode celebrating National Farmers Day by debating whether baling hay makes farmers actual athletes, before diving into our lingering disgust over lettuce grown with manure "poo water" . We finally swallow our pride to share the embarrassing origin story of our podcast, which all started during the pandemic when Sam gifted Erin one of Mike's Pizza Pocket Hoodies. In gaming news, Erin explains how she's escaping the "dopamine pit" of unfulfilled fitness goals by playing a relaxing Pokémon game (Pokemon Pokopia) and trying out Pathbound, a fantasy walking app that uses real life steps as stamina to smite hollow pixies. We also discuss Steppa, an app where users bet on hitting their 10,000 daily steps for a share of a $170,000 prize pool. On the sports front, we share a quick "Pepto Pugskins" fantasy football update, lamenting how the autodrafting might not be the smartest thing. In our news roundup, we review the controversial new spectator rules for the upcoming New York City Marathon, which officially ban confetti cannons and unauthorized sponsored cheer stations. We also discuss New York's new high-tech "robot toilets" equipped with a strict 10-minute time limit. Shifting to the extreme, we react to an athlete attempting to kayak 700km down the deadly Congo River basin alongside gorillas and hippos. In the collectibles and marketing world, we applaud the genius "NASCAR Swear Jar" campaign that lets fans guess the cumulative number of driver expletives to win a cash pot, and we marvel at Michael Jordan's $12.2 million game worn jersey being sold by Rob G., the same entrepreneur who recently purchased a Jai Alai league. We also squeeze in a serious health update, as Erin details her agonizing wait for genetic testing results and surgical consultations for her sentinel lymph nodes following a melanoma diagnosis. To lighten the mood, we explore the fun of magnet fishing in rivers for lost trinkets and marvel at the discovery of an 1884 shipwreck recently uncovered on the shores of Nantucket. We also follow up on the dedicated DoorDash driver who got into a severe car accident; his loyal customers have since raised $15,000 for him. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we highlight the wholesome journey of a Japanese man biking from Chicago to LA who experienced the best of American hospitality when a stranger invited him to stay in his home, and a police officer helped push his heavy bike up a steep bridge.
We kick off celebrating a massive 7,000 Instagram follower milestone and share an intimate 50th wedding anniversary recap before diving into a four-player session of Super Mario Wonder. We discuss upcoming Nintendo releases—including the highly anticipated Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake—and gawk at a Pokémon card that just sold for an eye-popping $1,020,000. Finally, we praise the USA Women's Wheelchair Basketball squad entering LA 2028 as reigning world champions. 👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.
We kick off celebrating a two-week health streak and debating wedding table etiquette before sharing a neighborhood encounter with a rumored retired NFL player. We dive into a viral Hyrox race controversy from Beijing and break down the fiery NASCAR brawl at Bristol between Carson Hocevar and Ryan Blaney. Finally, we expose a shocking front-office scandal within USA Team Handball and open up a pack of the chaotic new 30th-anniversary Pokémon cards live on the mic. 👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.
We kick off celebrating World Mini Golf Day and issue a major podcast ultimatum before diving into a raw mental health and melanoma diagnosis update. On the sports front, we review the wild Philadelphia Eagles "Big Dom" drama, explore the insane World Nomad Games (horseback rugby with a goat carcass), and break down the Rams vs. 49ers Melbourne time-zone strategies. 👋 New from the Spotify Home Feed? Hit the [ + FOLLOW ] button at the top of your screen so you never miss our Monday morning rants! New episodes drop religiously every Monday at 5:00 AM EST.