368. You Can’t Shame Someone Into Change - Pre-conetemplation stages of change mini series
How I quit alcoholShow Notes
The cycles of change mini series. Understanding the Precontemplation Stage of Change In today’s episode we begin a mini series exploring the Stages of Change model developed by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente. This series is for anyone navigating recovery, behaviour change, healing, nervous system work, or simply trying to understand themselves — or someone they love — with more compassion. In Episode 1 we explore the precontemplation stage: the stage where a person either does not yet recognise the behaviour as a problem, or they are not ready to change. We talk about: Why people stay attached to behaviours that hurt them The protective role coping mechanisms can play Why shame rarely creates sustainable change The nervous system’s role in resistance and defensiveness Supporting someone without enabling them The difference between compassion and rescuing Why readiness cannot be forced How curiosity can create more change than criticism This episode is an invitation to soften judgement, both toward ourselves and others, and begin understanding behaviour through the lens of protection, safety, and human survival.
JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR REFLECTION Is there an area of my life where I’m defending a behaviour instead of examining it? What might this behaviour be doing for me emotionally, socially, or psychologically? Is there something I’ve been minimising because I’m afraid of what change might require? Have I confused shame with motivation? What would it look like to approach myself with honesty and compassion at the same time?
And if you’re supporting someone else: Am I trying to force change, or create safety for honesty?
For more resources such as coaching or to join the next HIQA challenge go to www.iquitalcohol.com.au
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Music for Podcast intro and outro written by Danni Carr performed by Mr Cassidy
If you are struggling with physical dependancy on alcohol consider contacting a local AA meeting or a drug and alcohol therapist. Always consult a GP before stopping alcohol.
If you need help supporting a family member or loved on in addiction consider reaching out to https://al-anon.org.au/
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