
153: Why Parenting Strategies Aren’t Working (& What to Do Instead) - Jeanne & Josh’s Story
Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive ChildShow Notes
<p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);">Watch my video → </span><a href="https://youtu.be/jZBAuu4CsGc" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">How to End Your Child's Meltdowns in 8 Weeks or Less</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);">For eight years, their son had never once said "I love you", and waking him up for school usually meant getting kicked or hit.</strong></p><p><strong style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);"><span class="ql-cursor"></span></strong></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);">Jeannie and Josh are the parents of an eight-year-old adopted, neurodivergent, highly sensitive boy. Their days had turned into a cycle of hitting, yelling, and dysregulation that started the moment their son woke up. Josh stopped kissing him awake because it usually ended with knuckles to his forehead. Simple things like ice cream runs turned into battles. They had read the books, tried the strategies, and listened to every ADHD and sensitivity podcast they could find.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);">None of it stuck, because they were still coming at it from one question: how do we fix him?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);">The turn came when they stopped asking that question. Their story depicts what it feels like to look at your own reactions, childhood, and parenting patterns. It also demonstrates what happens when both parents finally speak the same language. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(29, 28, 29);">If you're carrying fear about who your child might become in five years, don’t miss this episode.</span></p><p><br></p><p><strong style="background-color: transparent;">You’ll learn:</strong></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[0:00] Introduction</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[2:13] Every parenting idea they had got roadblocked, and they didn't know why</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[4:13] Signs Josh and Jeannie wish they'd caught earlier</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[8:26] Things they tried before finding me, and why the "fix him" mindset failed</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[12:04] Why strategies alone don't work without deeper seismic shifts underneath</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[14:05] The hardest part now isn't their child’s behaviour, it's family members who don't get it</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[18:58] How Josh’s co-regulation also co-regulated the traumatised boy inside his dad</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[21:00] The fear of picturing their son at 16, and the big leap that followed</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">[28:02] Information-based programs can leave you more overwhelmed, not more healed</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transpare
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<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Does your child go from angry at breakfast to yelling "I hate you" by dinner? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>In today's episode, I unpack why your child seems angry all the time and what's REALLY going on underneath. We get into where does people pleasing come from, which is an important starting point since so many of us grew up conflict avoidant, sitting on suppressed anger. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What causes people pleasing, and how it shapes the way you react to anger</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How a "good girl" childhood can lead to a conflict avoidant personality as an adult</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why a five-year-old's anger comes out in such messy ways (and yours did, too)</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How your own repressed anger can show up when your child starts yelling</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why anger is a secondary emotion, and what it might be protecting your sensitive kid from</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why mom rage can flare the second your child gets angry at you</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What is emotional safety, and what does it look like on a hard day?</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What softening really means when your child is kicking and calling you names</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to create emotional safety when you're too angry to soften</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why it can feel like gentle parenting doesn't work, even with the right script</span></li></ul><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If your child seems angry ALL the time and you've started to wonder if this is just who they are, this episode is for you. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Have you ever caught yourself Googling "am I raising a narcissist" at 2am after another rough day? Does your child hit their sister, call you names, and show zero remorse? Do they melt down every time you say no, or shut down the second you ask them to own what happened?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>In this episode, I share why sensitive, emotionally intense kids can look narcissistic.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your sensitive kid can show a lack of empathy when someone else is hurting</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child's still-developing emotional regulation can get mistaken for narcissism</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What narcissistic personality disorder actually looks like, according to the DSM-5</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What your child's age has to do with the question of raising a narcissist</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How narcissism really develops, and what's hiding underneath all that grandiosity</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your sensitive kid feels SO much shame, no matter what you do</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What is emotional safety, and how it changes the way your child handles shame</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What does emotional safety look like when your child has just hit their sibling</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to create emotional safety after you've lost your cool with your kid</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What's really behind extreme defensiveness when you ask your child to take accountability</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If you’ve ever worried about what your child’s behavior means for who they will become, this episode will help you understand what may be going on underneath the surface.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raised
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Is gentle parenting not working even after every script you've tried? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Gentle parenting was never meant to be a list of scripts you follow perfectly. Your child is unique, and what helps one child calm down can make another child feel even more overwhelmed.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">So, in today's episode, I share five popular gentle parenting techniques that can make meltdowns worse with your sensitive kid, and WHY each one backfires. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why gentle parenting doesn't work the way the reels make it look with your sensitive kid</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What your child actually hears when you circle back after the meltdown</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child can tell you hitting isn't kind and still do it again</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How the emotional water pitcher explains the meltdown that shows up after school</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How co-regulation strategies for parents shift when your child yells "go away"</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What co regulation parenting looks like when naming feelings makes it worse</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What gentle parenting REALLY asks of you when your kid needs your calm</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to catch yourself as an overstimulated mom before your tone turns sharp</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>If you’re tired of wondering why the strategies you’ve been told to use aren’t helping, this episode will help you understand what may be happening underneath the meltdown and what your child might actually need from you in those moments.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Face