
160: The Hidden Cycle Making Your Sensitive Child’s Meltdowns Worse (And How to Break It)
Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive ChildShow Notes
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why does clearing your whole afternoon for a special outing with your sensitive child so often end in a meltdown over dinner? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">In this episode, I walk you through why special outings and one-on-one time backfire, and what your child needs from you instead of another gentle parenting script.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>I explain why secure attachment takes more than one outing, and why your parenting approach needs to account for what stress does to your child's body long after the fun outing ends.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why a fun outing can build resentment on your side even when your child seems happy</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What's happening when your child keeps pushing past where you'd normally step in</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How giving in at the pool or with the ice cream truck sets up the meltdown that follows</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child still falls apart even after getting exactly what they asked for</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What the disconnection cycle actually looks like once it becomes a pattern</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How exhausted parents keep giving past what they have to give, expecting it to fix things</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why emotional outbursts often follow the exact outings meant to prevent them</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What conscious parenting looks like once you stop measuring effort by how much you gave up</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why big emotions don't go away just because the day went well</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How parenting burnout builds when every outing is expected to repair the relationship</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why ordinary connection time built into your day outperforms a planned outing</span></li></ul><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If you've cleared your schedule for outings that still end in a meltdown, wondered why doing everything right doesn't break the pattern, or found yourself resentful even when you're trying your hardest with your parenting approach, this episode is for you.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="
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Have you ever read every book and saved every script, only to freeze the second your child starts kicking and throwing things?
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Does your child go from angry at breakfast to yelling "I hate you" by dinner? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>In today's episode, I unpack why your child seems angry all the time and what's REALLY going on underneath. We get into where does people pleasing come from, which is an important starting point since so many of us grew up conflict avoidant, sitting on suppressed anger. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What causes people pleasing, and how it shapes the way you react to anger</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How a "good girl" childhood can lead to a conflict avoidant personality as an adult</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why a five-year-old's anger comes out in such messy ways (and yours did, too)</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How your own repressed anger can show up when your child starts yelling</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why anger is a secondary emotion, and what it might be protecting your sensitive kid from</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why mom rage can flare the second your child gets angry at you</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What is emotional safety, and what does it look like on a hard day?</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What softening really means when your child is kicking and calling you names</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to create emotional safety when you're too angry to soften</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why it can feel like gentle parenting doesn't work, even with the right script</span></li></ul><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If your child seems angry ALL the time and you've started to wonder if this is just who they are, this episode is for you. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Have you ever caught yourself Googling "am I raising a narcissist" at 2am after another rough day? Does your child hit their sister, call you names, and show zero remorse? Do they melt down every time you say no, or shut down the second you ask them to own what happened?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>In this episode, I share why sensitive, emotionally intense kids can look narcissistic.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your sensitive kid can show a lack of empathy when someone else is hurting</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child's still-developing emotional regulation can get mistaken for narcissism</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What narcissistic personality disorder actually looks like, according to the DSM-5</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What your child's age has to do with the question of raising a narcissist</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How narcissism really develops, and what's hiding underneath all that grandiosity</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your sensitive kid feels SO much shame, no matter what you do</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What is emotional safety, and how it changes the way your child handles shame</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What does emotional safety look like when your child has just hit their sibling</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to create emotional safety after you've lost your cool with your kid</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What's really behind extreme defensiveness when you ask your child to take accountability</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">If you’ve ever worried about what your child’s behavior means for who they will become, this episode will help you understand what may be going on underneath the surface.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raised
<p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Is gentle parenting not working even after every script you've tried? </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Gentle parenting was never meant to be a list of scripts you follow perfectly. Your child is unique, and what helps one child calm down can make another child feel even more overwhelmed.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">So, in today's episode, I share five popular gentle parenting techniques that can make meltdowns worse with your sensitive kid, and WHY each one backfires. </span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">You'll learn:</span></p><ul><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why gentle parenting doesn't work the way the reels make it look with your sensitive kid</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What your child actually hears when you circle back after the meltdown</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">Why your child can tell you hitting isn't kind and still do it again</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How the emotional water pitcher explains the meltdown that shows up after school</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How co-regulation strategies for parents shift when your child yells "go away"</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What co regulation parenting looks like when naming feelings makes it worse</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">What gentle parenting REALLY asks of you when your kid needs your calm</span></li><li><span style="background-color: transparent;">How to catch yourself as an overstimulated mom before your tone turns sharp</span></li></ul><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span class="ql-cursor"></span>If you’re tired of wondering why the strategies you’ve been told to use aren’t helping, this episode will help you understand what may be happening underneath the meltdown and what your child might actually need from you in those moments.</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Here's to raising resilient kids,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Dr. Hilary</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Find more from Dr. Hilary:</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Raised Resilient | </span><a href="https://www.raisedresilient.com/" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Website</a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">| </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Instagram</a><span style="background-color: transparent;"> | </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisedresilient" target="_blank" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(61, 133, 198);">Face